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Toss a coin in an old well
  for a wish to have a maiden so fair,
into the abyss I succumb and dwell
  to take back my love, my lost pair.

How long I have searched for you,
  in cities of different lights,
only to find out that if love is true
   it will come to you in sparkly eyes.

She's an alarm clock to my sleepy soul,
   the lullaby to my wakeful heart,
a lover who stands her ground to
  watch you grow,
and a woman that loves all your pieces of art.

Mahal,
One more chance
Please come back
When you drown in
an endless ocean of whisky,
you'll miss the taste of life's waters
  as your mind floats above the
ravaging tide of addiction
  and you constantly begging
for the flow to calm

You'll realize that the slowest of recovery
   is better than the fastest one who can chug


Someone out there is either dying for alcohol
or dying from an alcohol addiction,

I won't judge you
on what your heart is looking for
but the drink that's been on your hand
for too long
ain't Jesus in a bottle

It will pass.
How desperate we are
to maintain our habits,
   we often trade parts of ourselves
just to feel that rush
whenever we sober up
and latch on to that feeling
up to the very end.

The other lung
for a pack of cigarettes,
that spare kidney
for case of beer
and the worst one
trading a trusted friend
for a gram,
Alas at the end of the day
no matter how much earthly treasure you possess in this world of trades,
  you can never bargain the time
that is lost
and another chance for everything
  to change
Happy 1 month sober to me
Oh how people judge me so fast
when they knew
that I went to hell and back.
    Scent of burning rubber,
a shirt that's full of ash                       and the flames that light up my cigarette
   spoke the tales of me
going to hell and came back.

People fear what they can not fathom
and belittled a journey that I used to seek,
since they only lived a life
of *** and ***
a life so empty,
a life that's only to satisfy their lust and greed.

As I almost taste the hope that I've been craving,
I smiled with broken teeth and
a broken spine from carrying
all of  the burden on my bag.
" God, bless my new beginnings,
I thank you for guiding me through the gates of hell
and
never wanting me
to go back."
Sober
It began with shivering
which ran through me
like a rush of adrenaline.

I resolved to go for a walk
and spent the next hour
trying to discern
whether

my thoughts were
tinged with psychosis.
Luckily I am all-too-familiar
with the shadows of my mind.
It was a panic attack.
Afterwards I went home
to watch Star Wars: Bad Batch.
I'm worried I cannot philosophize
Amanda May 14
I reminisce a simpler time.
I listen to Lana Del Rey past midnight as if it's 2013 again,
pretending her graphic imagery is my actual life
while I search for my exes on google since they don't use Facebook,
wondering what ever became of them.
Is my high school sweetheart happy he got married and had a family with someone that wasn't me?
Did my college boyfriend ever snap out of his depression and regret breaking up with me in the middle of the night at his Boston apartment leaving me to wander the streets aimlessly until the sun rose above the city skyline?
As much as I crave answers, unfortunately my google trail runs cold.
If I had blinked twice, would my life had turned out that differently?
And if it had, would I even want to be me?
A little ramble since life is hard and it feels like nothing has changed and yet everything has.
Johnnyqu33r May 3
I've gotten too old for this angst
Paint on my smile alongside
My contour and eyelashes
My pain is a personal serving

I'd like to think time served here
Means something for later on
When I collapse in my grand finale
Curtains close and the symphony stops

You have no idea the lengths I go
To keep this silly old show on the road
Pointless battles on bathroom floors
The shadows kept behind closed doors

But, I've gotten too old for this angst
So I stay grateful and wide awake
Never biting the hand that feeds
Wiping crumbs and dirt from my knees
azumiya Apr 24
what to do when you're done being mad?
what to do when you're done blaming yourself and other people?
what to do when you're done being sad?
what to do when you're done confronting the painful memories?
what to do when you've sobered up?
what to do when you're finally healed?

Begin again.
I have fought the good fight.
Now give me the good times.
Amanda Apr 20
Pop the cork, pour one
down the drain to symbolize
a new beginning.
kain larose Apr 8
I used to be so open
But lately this ain't true
I just can't remember
Half of what you "helped" me through

I see you can only hurt me
Feeling nothing ain't the same
I'm the one to blame
Who knew numb is worse then pain

And now with us apart
I bloom just like a rose
I'm just proud to say
That I've kept that bottle closed
I've been sober for a year now and I felt like writing something about the whole ordeal
What started at parties and small get together years ago turned into daily drinking and what feels like a whole year of my life wasted into bottles, I was easily at the worst part of my life so far and being a shy person I just never told anyone about it all until some random girl I met online got me to open up about it and for the first time In years I was crying and boom it just all hit me that I could barely remember the last week of my life, it took more than this for me to pour my last Mickey of cheap whiskey down the toilet but to the random girl who spent 30 minutes talking to some random guy thanks for helping steer my life in a better direction
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