My love,
I wish you could visit.
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Is truly exquisite.
And I knew,
From the very start,
That you and I
Can never depart.

As not a million miles,
Can break us apart.

maybe
my wings
are a bit
too long
and i’ve
flown
too close
to the sun

perhaps
it is i
who is
lost
in
the sky
getting
carried away
having fun

my smile
has shown
more
than it has
in a while
and i’m
looking forward
to future
grins
too

my head’s
in a spin
as
my heart’s
caving in
and i’m
just not
quite sure
what to do

i know
what
i want
and i
i know
what
i don’t
but i’m
not sure
how to
navigate
between

i’ve been lost
for so long
that i
don’t know
what’s wrong
and i’m
stuck
feeling
like
the
grass
is
never green

the moon
hangs
on
a
wire
as
it
dangles
to
inspire
and i’m
caught
beneath
recycled rays
of sun

the lights
will guide
the way
the
stars
will
find a day
for us to
be
everything
we’d
hoped
we
could
become

i have never loved anybody the way i loved you
i’m afraid that i never will
i know not all love is the same
but must you be the one i never forget
must you be the one i compare to all the rest
maybe it’s not you
yeah, you weren’t perfect
perhaps you were just the first time
i put my all into somebody

In shadows cast by loss, I dwell,
Last New Year took, my heart's knell.
Seeking solace, with aunt I dwell,
Yet found within, a tempest's swell.

Their strife, a dance of pain untold,
Narcissism's grip, a tale unfold.
Kindness quivers, in fragile hold,
As savings slip, in coffers cold.

Two moons pass, in this troubled space,
Yearning to flee, this tangled embrace.
But chains unseen, withhold my grace,
Rest eludes, in this weary chase.

In whispers soft, I plead my leave,
Yet echoes of refusal cleave.
Sleep, a distant, elusive reprieve,
In this tangled web, I grieve.

Lost in silence, veiled distress,
Wounds unseen, seek redress.
Yearning for solace, in the vastness,
Amidst their chaos, I confess.

I've an aversion

to fighting and to people --


The fight of my life.

I'll be up at five, so I can leave by six. For this rare occasion, I won't hit snooze. It does not matter that my bones are creaking, and my eyes still craving some sleep because a longing heart can defy anything that's making me weak.

For love, I will ride motorcycles, and respond uncomfortably to men who do not need to know anything more than my name, and where I'm headed. We'll hit the road obnoxiously, and take turns on unfamiliar streets. I will put all my faith in the helmet I'm wearing, and in humanity, while I hold on for dear life.

After a dreadful ride, I will step foot inside an unfamiliar building. I could place a bet that I'd get lost inside because well, it's me. When I finally find my bus, I will hop on anxiously. Yet, despite everything that's running in my head, peace will come to me.

It will come in the way the early sun lies in the palm of my hand, its warmth, melting away my worries.
And from the pair of bright innocent eyes peeking from the seat in front of me.
Calm will come from watching the bus slowly fill with passengers from the city.
Especially, from the thought that all of us are headed somewhere for a grand reason — for love.

Dread will become anticipation and anticipation to plain excitement.

I will wait patiently behind the soft murmurs of strangers. And when the conductor finally hands me my ticket, I would think that I could do this as often as you want me to.

In my seat, I will sink with both childlike wonder and a new sense of independence. There, I will find joy in all the unfamiliarity.

The ride will be a cycle of seats getting emptied and reoccupied as the bus traverses through cities.

And when it gets emptier, I will tell you that I’m almost there.

We’re playing the long game.
We share things, we’re lovers,
we slip in and out of each other’s lives
like jackets hanging on the back of a door.

Relationships are like instruments,
they must be played, kept in tune,
the carnal and the corny balanced,
carefully, like sections of an orchestra.

Sometimes, I feel that I have to bring the energy,
BE the entertainment - and I can do that - in spades
but not forever - I’m not a tireless-giver - in fact,
I'm atavistically Parisien (we admit loving nothing).

I’m learning that when a relationship’s conducted,
at great remove, the basics - like punctuality,
dependability and preparation - become a big deal.

When I’m in an optimistic headspace, I think we can do it,
maybe, that we know what we want and who we are.

That we’re playing the long game

I don’t think I could tell you of ease
But I see you across from this sea in between
Shifting in your seat, nursing a dull ache
I know that feeling all too well
But I don’t want to tell you about it
In case I may come across insensitive
Because I’m trying not to shift this center of gravity
We both share in desperation
And tip us over the edge
We didn’t dare to wonder about
But I never learned to swim
And this sea in between
is filling up my lungs
When did it get so hard to breathe?
I call after you, under my shallow breath
I see you for everything  
Hoping you see me too
But this heavy air we drink
Settles in your shadow and mine
It spells out gracefully
That the spaces between us
Are built out of love
And so, we go on
Paving distances
For these descending clouds