I've been blessed to know a few
who understand my pain and triumph too
N we'll know each other all our lives
as I'm all finished alone looking for knives.
Distance we make into a friend as still days alone I’ll dwell
Yet keep always the hope that their
future’s brightness is to sell.
While mine I auction off with ease-
addictions appetite is never pleased.
So quite different I am from both of them, as our unlikely trios formed
by want and need and struggle too while beauty and youth is mourned
A blessing for us to know this type, of friendship near or far
to know alone is not alone no matter where we are.
Kimia and Sammy, it's your two thoughts that I keep close
As the future that I contrived grows impatiently morose
For kimia and sammy- who have always silently made a stand with and for me. We're such different types of people yet I know we're connected for life. We're all pretty much on the same street, as we have been, from childhood till now. This is the last month before you both move away for grad school, but I'll be here. I am so proud to watch you both go. Thank you for being yourselves.
One day, you will find yourself standing alone on the same street you were standing with him few months ago and it will hurt less this time. And you will realize that he wasn't even there with you in the first place.
You think you were happy with him, but when he left you, you realize that the happiness you felt wasn't authentic. Now, all you are mandate to remember are all the nights he sent mixed signals and all the nights you doubted if what you had will work out. But no, it didn't.
That is why I am here, writing this excerpt.
A glass half empty
Trying to fall into a larger cup
I am the one looking for innocence
It'd be easier to be empty
Than to toss it all in poor judgment
Possessed by this desire
A fire rises, and I'm just a fly on the wall
An anthem of indoctrinated philosophy
Wondering where is the merit in being avenged
Hold me, before I slip across the edge
Into a glass half empty
Engulfed by saltation into my darkest dreams
Relics of the empty soul cannot appear on the face
Yet, when I imagine the human condition
Evanescence of these memories are merely a relic
Jaded and pure are these deep ties to my reality
So are crowded people unaware of the emptiness of my soul?
I was at my lowest that I'd ever been down and out on the streets all alone when I was touched by Angel who to saved very
She took me by hand and led me to the other side of the street and to a love I'd never experienced before for I'd lived the life a
Through child abuse left unable to cummicate with others so I was left all alone
but I was touched by Angel
who went to be my
The dead lie like Rome,
Like toppled sunshine in stone,
From a boy who had blown
Into the seashell of the Forum,
Heard back in restoning, the alley of home,
The narrow, basket-flowered angiportum…
But, lips too strong, let out unknown
The stone-witherings of Medusa
And the bone dust of empire.
The only time the streets are paved
with gold is when the sun rises--
poor Dennis feels rich
old Marlys feels young
everything slow seems worth waiting for.
The birds fly north and greet the sky.
Over the streets the sun pours
like honey from the jar.
It's another day, and you doubted
you'd make it this far.
When the darkness feels too heavy,
your hands too empty,
don't forget that joy
comes in the morning.
God blocked off my dopamine pathways last night
When I was staring out my window,
Looking at the street lamp and onward onto the street behind it
Why did you do that?
You are a sentence uttered quietly
You are on-show from the flashy coffees to the rushed sandwiches swallowed whole, to the bottles of wine spontaneously indulged on on the commute home.
Yet you have never felt so hidden.
You make people feel things they don't want to feel on these errands.
These pointless tasks that amount to all.
But there are more of you now than before.
A whole library of the same sentence.
The reply is always empty.
I’m gonna dream a while
Before it’s time to go
And I leave home
Because all roads lead to rome
And I intent to find her in a mile
Wasting my time meandering in the snow
Feeling like a dog trapped in a cone
Stuck in this endless drone
I’m as high as heaven
Scrawling up memories in dreams
She was there back then, in the time of street beats
Just kids snacking on packaged meats
Some time after eleven
Wearing different shades of cream
None of us could handle the heat
So we ducked in trash can shades, at least to meet
We all played drums
With pots and lids
Kool-aid and innocent imaginings as fuel
Felt rooted in yule
Every day, that’s where we’d come
It’s all we cared for as kids
With minimal labels as fools
But we were far from piles of tools
It was that way
Until it rained
And the alley tended to reek
At least for a week
It was over, we were all strained
Bonds too weak
Insight on what kept us close, bleak
For us, it was all too much rain
Now I’m older
Smoke shrouds her
Now it’s disappearing vistas behind my eyes, just pain
I’m a lot colder
And I can’t see past her powder
Make up all pretty like, enchanting power
This is my bane
Here I am, a bit bolder
Cheap confidence post shower
I’ll cower in my mistakes later
I can’t find the cause
Of this feeling
I think this world is killing me
In all these moments of need, no pause
Just the bad choices I’m dealing
On my knees
Hoping this flip flop back is my key
But I’m feeling a little hollow tonight
I can’t hit the sack
These eyes don’t close
All I can do is pose
This plastic is strangling my prose
But then again, failure is my knack
For now and forever, I’ve lost my light
To nothing but my nature, forever blight
So many nights felt myself fading away to the cold of the night sleeping out rough on the lonely
I got lucky survived and
work my back Into society
but so many others don't
get that chance having lived that
I feel for all those the forgotten In what seems like a society that no longer cares the lost souls left alone on our
I feel sorry for the forgotten homeless who live on our streets I survived the streets but for so many other they don't get that chance as I did to turn turn life around