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My heart’s no different than yours
(or anyone else’s, for that matter).
It’s in the center of my chest,
as it has made its nest inside the
hollowness of my toraxic cavity.
It's no larger than the size of my fist.
It’s concave, divided into chambers,
and it's the most important muscle
in my fragile mortal body.
It weights exactly 227 grams.
It beats 101,000 times a day, and it
has pumped millions of gallons
of blood during my lifetime
through the aortha, the superior
and inferior vena cava, the pulmonary
artery, the left and right atrium,
and the left and right ventricles.
It has also been portrayed almost perfectly
in a dozen different paintings by Frida Kahlo
(but not because it's beautiful or photogenic),
and it's in pieces, but not broken
(and each piece has an edge to it that makes
all of them fit together, like a puzzle).
My blood is thick and sweet, like red honey,
but the worse-for-wear machine
that warms it (the motor that creates
energy and entropy out of a constantly chaotic
and turbulent flow of fluids) is covered
in oxidized barbed wire strands
and it’s held in place loosely by iron
nails that have become rusty, impaled
by thin veins and nerves, and a broken
Cupid’s arrow. It contracts involuntarily,
without conscious thought, working
like a slave that has no master, and I can
neither control it, nor stop it, until it
finally gives out and caves in itself,
or implodes into the inter-dimensional
portal (or black hole?)
we call the soul.
She decorated her soul with dreams:
the kind that can't be stolen,
not even by the inexorable march of age
which eventually robs you of yourself.
Her love was a massacre;
savaging everything in it's path,
but with a beauty that you forgave her
before she apologized.
Her eyes were lilly pads,
and her voice
was the crunch of snow underfoot,
and while you couldn't believe that she could be hurt
you knew from the moment you met her
that you'd be her unneeded Don Quixote
You have control over me,
you have my soul
can't you see?
Have you ever in that place,
where you were surrounded by so many people,
like on a family dinner or a party or even just hanging out with your friends,
but you feel like your mind and your soul isn't there,
you feel like they were going somewhere that is dark, empty, and really cold so you scream for someone asking for help to warm you up,
but there's no one, you are all alone
just your mind and your soul.
and in that moment,
your heart gets really hurt and you want to scream but cant and instead you make your step to the bathroom and cry.
Did i told you ?
"you hurt me"
Yes, you heard me right, you hurt me.
With every action of yours.
Intentional or unintentional,
You should know they were destructive.
Did i told you ?
"I got physically tired, and emotionally drained.
Yes, you heard me right you drained my emotions leaving me empty.
With every word of yours.
Intentional or unintentional,
You should know they were devastating.
Did i told you?
"how much i cried that day"
Yes, you heard me right, you made me cry, getting me on my knees, as i listened to my own voice like a helpless distressed child, the muscles of my cheeks trembled.
With every step of yours.
Intentional or unintentional,
You should know they were terribly crushing.
Did i told you?
"I lost my spirit"
Yes, you heard me right, you theft my spirit, leaving me numb, with thoughts of ending my life for there's nothing left.
With every statement of yours.
Intentional or unintentional,
You should know it was shattering.
The sun shine rose in the dark rainy night
The wind howled and the dogs snapped
Out from the shadows a creature stalks
Only to find a weeping child
The creature leaned in and there was a shudder
The cold from his hands frightened the child
The creature looked at the weeping child
The child looked up to see a face
The face the child did see was familiar
There was none in the world just like it
The creature smiled and said come back to me
The child nodded and put his hand in the creature's
They walked toward the sunshine and the creature became a man
The child grew taller and taller than the creature he grew
Until they were no longer child and creature
But became love's first hand
So much as the great fire needs air to flourish
You'll have my heart and soul to nourish
But
if you stray aside
my heart and soul will surely die
And
in the ashes of my pain and suffer
New hope and love will surely buffer
But
if in the ashes more pain comes near
I will be forced to end it here
And
once it ends my heart will see
All the love that is free
For in this world there is peace and love
But
far more beauty to behold from above
The winds of time are not kind
On the withered heart of this poor soul
To those who are seeing the torture it endures
It is harmless fun
The soul wanders endlessly
Looking for its way out
Some ways may be easy
But they are far to painful to travel
The shallow emptiness that lies ahead
Filled with loss and misfortune
From years of suffering
It's one true goal out of all others
Find the one who will take the pain away