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I've retreated Into fantasy
hiding In all those things kept secret stored away In my mind It's
my
the little world now no one from the outside can touch or see In my own escape from reality I no longer want to be a part
of
Fantasies of Helen It to where we can live our life again do some of the things because of ill health we couldn't do, she was Incredibly **** lady "wow
did she know how
to
tease sometime she would place her hands under bare ******* lift them whilst pushing them
together
With this come to bed look In eyes a voice such a wicked laugh just couldn't
help but be overwhelmed
and consumed Into her Incredible passion the smell of her perfume on her *****
body
I would caress all her body press my face Into her lovely scented ******* tease her ******* with my tongue till they become stiff with excitement nibble gently her ear
lobes
Helen would react to this wildly that's when you felt her true passion oh the sensation on entering her body
to feel her back arch
and feel her nails raking my back the hotness of
her breath the ecstasy than to collapse In true pleasure of
releasing tension our bodies slowly relaxing to fall to sleep
Memories of making love to Helen even through memory I still feel her so
Johnny walker Feb 19
I would gently nibble Helen's
earlobes whisper naughty but nice In her ear she would grasp with excitement grabbing hold of me drawing me on to her gripping so unbelievable
tight
And kissing with a passions she would take every bit of breath from my body till I would be gasping for air but
the sensation oh so beautiful
to lay my body upon
her
I'd draw In that beautiful perfume she would spray upon her ******* to where I'd
put my face I'd hear the beating of Helen's heart becoming faster as gently squeezed the the smooth softness of her
*******
And kiss her stiffening ******* to enter her
body as she would arched her back with pleasure she hold back untill I was ready
then like an explosion of pure
ecstasy
And then just to lay with her both our hearts beating so fast and as I write It feels as It were only yesterday
when we last made
love
And just writing of making love with Helen gets me excited so strong are my feeling for her that's what true love can
do
Just to write of making love with Helen I get excited that what true love can do for It never dies nor dose the passion
You never look
good
making someone else
look bad.
So I suggest you stop;
I'm sure
we'll be glad.
It's not cool to make someone else look bad.
When I look back on my time through dreams of Helen and those memories and every time I do It's like a replay of our life together

Almost as If I'm sat In the cinema watching a film true story Helen and Johnny like a critic whilst watching the film I see things not quite right maybe just simple things that could have made our marriage even better

I have a pen and paper and I'm making notes and at the end of the film Instead of credits on screen there Is a list of all thing I could do to Improve our marriage

I wake from the dream but still remembering but I'm sure there message in this dream there somewhere
A dream Im sat at a the cinema
but I'm a critic our true story playing on the big screen  I'm making notes In order to Improve our marriage
Johnny walker Jan 28
Through child abuse at the hands of my mother always lacked confidence
so when I married Helen It was always she who took the lead
In everything Including our Intimate moments because of this and Helen Increasing Inability to walk I found It even harder to approach
her
But that all changed on a warm day In summer she often got very hot so she would sit In her underwear this was nothing
new
done this on many occasions before but this particular time she was sat she was cupping her hand under her
breast
Sort squeezing them together totally unaware of what she was doing but I was watching and as I look at her
I could hear myself saying this girl Is beautiful
why are you just sitting there tell her
so
I did and walked over to her never done this before but for some reason, I gently nibbled her ear lobes and she went crazy she said ***** me which I did while she Inturn striped
me
she sat back In her chair, the poor girl couldn't stand for long because of pain so laid across her slightly holding my weight of her body with my
hands
so I didn't hurt her but just enough for our bodies to touch and It was beautiful we managed
to make love It was nothing short of Heaven so well I remember that day so beautiful she was to
me
Remember beautiful seeing Heaven while making love to Helen
Johnny walker Jan 27
If we could see around
the corner how different might our lives be In
some
ways
I suppose It could be frightening but on the other hand, we'd appreciate even more
the love of our
lives
Probably we would never take anything for granted thinking things would never end the whole experience of living would be
different
We'd want to make every moment count as If It were our last I would have given Helen even more of my attention
I would never have wanted to let her out of my sight that Is of cause If  I could have seen what was around the
corner
Live doesn't allow us to what's coming around the corner but If we could probably a bit frightening but on the other hand we would make every minute count as If It were our
last
Johnny walker Jan 25
Whilst deep In thought, I travel my mind today through time and space to another place
With the sun starting to rise on what looked like being another beautiful day
A small ray of light had found its way through a tiny gap In the curtains still drawn
The small ray of light found a way on to our bed to shine a warming
light
Over the body of my ***** lover who lays there so beautiful she
was
I reached out and slowly and gently put my arm over her to cup my hand on her breast
I felt the stiffening of her ****** as gently caressed with my fingertips my lover then she slowly did
wake
stretched out then she giggles like an Innocent schoolgirl looking down at me kissing her ******* I kiss her all
over
then oh so gently nibble her earlobes whisper sweet naughty but nice In her ear knowing full well for her this was such a turn on I parted her legs and entered her and made mad passionate love all on that beautiful unforgettable sunny morning
Thoughts to remember beautiful sunny day making love to my lover unforegettable
Johnny walker Jan 24
I'm a prisoner of my own making sat on my bed looking around at the four surrounding
walls
for It's there that I live and done so for the last ten
years and I'm a prisoner of my own making for the wrong choices made to early In
life not taking opportunities when they were presented to
me through lack
of
confidence
fate playing a big part In my failings In life
So I'm a prisoner of my own choosing possibly?
Sometimes I think I'm a prisoner of my own making
I'll be again the man I used to be always stood my ground no matter came my way
No longer to be walked upon I walk my own path through
life
make my own destiny no matter what should come my way today tomorrow or whenever I'm Boss
Making one's own destiny through life now single
again my own man
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