The tiny boy looked at the tiny tree And it was big The tiny tree looked at a tiny building And it was huge Tiny building looked at the tiny ocean And it was large The tiny ocean looked at the tiny space And it was gigantic The tiny earth looked at the tiny universe And said it was enormous
i like to imagine myself trekking across a great desert, or tundra, or wasteland, and it’s dark but the sky is glowing with stars and the sun on the horizon and everything is that beautiful natural violet. there is nothing for miles and miles and miles and in every direction is the same thing. i walk over hills and through ditches but in the hugeness of the landscape they are nothing, and it’s still wide and flat. i wonder and i dance and i shout at the sky and i flail my arms around and trip over and i yell and grin and shake to the stars and to the space beyond them, that infinity. i tip my head upwards and smile to infinite amounts of infinite things up there. i am confused and i am lost and i am scared and in all of that i’ve found the most joy that is even possible to be felt. i scream at the infinity in a friendly way as if i’ve figured out its secrets, as if we’re on the same page. i thank it and i laugh at it and i scold it for everything that i feel and know and am because one of the infinite things up there must have given it to me, whether it knows it or not, and i feel safe and tiny and fleeting and i am so happy to be the tiny second of useless time and phenomena that i am.
from the 22nd of november 2020. there's this song that i like and it makes me see this image and i think it's important.
I feel like a remote. A tiny remote in the hands of a giant Toggling through channels Accidentally pressing every other button than the intended I have no control I have lost sense of where I am in space I am helpless Vulnerable to the choices of the giant Constantly fluctuating between states of fear And peace Never knowing when each state will change Never knowing how long I will have peace Before the fear arises I am just a tiny remote In the hands of a giant.
Currently battling feelings of trauma sneaking up and hijacking my peace of mind.