The weird positions that your bad choices
put you in
at the same time
Im slightly more alive
yet still completely lost
no one can save me from the depths of darkness
that eat me alive
And it will
until im reunited with the life
and I made
i had found what i wanted
i was finally happy
life finally felt right
the world says its wrong
Long long ago, i used to think
Words hung on the trees,
along with the leaves
To handpick them and use, as and when
easy, it would be
Drenched in the storms of my anger
The words grew bitter and brittle
The winds blew away the right ones
Harder i tried, farther they flew
Left with few and later none
Lost I did feel, with not a word
that could heal
Rooted in me
They were always there
Took me a while
To finally find
Weathering all storms
Calming the seas
Bearing the fruits
The words alive
Sweetened and pruned
To anger, immune
Very old thoughts, found words, alive
but for today,
i am still alive, alive, alive
and i will taste the honey
because it is sweet.
Shadow friends dance at the edge of my vision
Somehow I convince myself that I'm with them
We smile and laugh but I'm still empty
Somehow I'm lonely when you're here with me
My rainbows fade into cloudy grey
I'm begging my shadow friends to stay
But night will fall and take you from me
And I will remeber that I am lonely
I'll walk in the dark, where I cannot see
And think up thoughts which swallow me
I'll bend until I break, like I'm made of glass
Good things placed in my hands do not last
My shadow friends are gone, and I'm all alone
My life is built up in this shadow home
Where I let tears fall, and I wallow in my pain
How I wonder what it feels like to be sane
The birds will sing again
for my sweetheart when summer comes around
the place where Helen
Its to where I'll lay my
flowers and sit and talk to her whilst listening to the birds as they sing there
Now winter on It's way so damp cold and miserable
not the place to be but come again the summer I will sit with her
And listen to the songbirds sing there songs for Helen cause In summer It's a pleasant place to be but for me another winter to get through
Helen always struggled In winter but come the summer she would come to life
What is it about trees that make them so special?
Why is it that they make me have a sense of peace?
Is it because trees are really alive like us?
Or that they stand so tall, reaching towards the sky?
What do trees remind us of when we look at them?
Why do they make me smile when I look at them?
Is it because trees are really like people too?
Or that they too, seem to have no care in the world?
I had written this when I was at work, since there's a lot of trees around :)
Theme: Selfcare ||Dignity
Each night I find myself
grieving the death of
my unborn adolescent self,
the miscarriage of a body
which was already alive
but never dared to live.
How broke do I have to be
to put all the pieces
back together again?
Time’s only direction
My mind’s only direction
I only know how to speak in words
I didn’t have enough courage
to pronounce in the past.
My eyes only know how to stare
at suns already set and crescents
which are now full moons.
My heart has never loved before
and now it’s trying to do it
like a sixteen-year-old.
My unborn adolescent self,
the miscarriage of a body
which wasn’t really alive
and dares to live now
when it is too late.
I really like you all.
Not sure why we don't jive
but my best when I'm with you
is only half-alive.