"Hey can I touch your hair?"
"Is your mom black or your dad?"
Two questions I'm always asked
Damn near pushing me over
All because I'm different from most
I get it, I'm black. And I'm white
But really I'm no different from anyone
Because we all have hearts, and souls
Me being a mixture of two complexions
Kind of separates me from others
Just because I'm not exactly like them
Primarily white public school
2008-2009 school year
I was always looked at weird
There were no other mixed kids with me
Blacks, and whites, with a small group of latinos.
No one accepted me
Because I looked like the other
"You're not dark enough"
"You're not light enough"
Where am I then? I'm nowhere.
I get it, that's how some people are raised
I still have no idea why being mixed
Is such a big deal to people
It's so common nowadays it isn't relevant
But there's the select few who always ask
The same few questions
To send any mixed person overboard
And I'm tired of it
I'm not different
Nobody is different from the other
Everyone is the same besides the mental
Differences between us
So what's the point of asking, "who's black?"
When you should be asking, "what's your story?"
I rest my case
And coming from a mixed child
I may be different
But I love everyone just the same.
I once lived on a beautiful farm, sparkling with green life,
With family I dwelt, growing crops, and never was there strife,
But even with the gorgeous wildlife, lined with perfect flowers,
I sometimes thought beyond the borders there were secret powers,
So one fine day I left our home, travelling through unknown lands,
Through jungles bustling with new creatures, spectacular desert sands,
After walking many miles I came across a gnome,
Who promised me an astonishing gift that I could take back home,
I asked him what I could give in return; he asked me for my clothes,
And pointed out the quickest way back, a dark and desolate road,
The gift was packed inside a crate and loaded on a cart,
But there were no horses to pull it and it looked to be falling apart,
So I tied the ropes around my chest and pulled my gift with all my might,
Naked on the dark road I began to feel the fright,
I was sure the gift would be worth the many leagues that I had travelled,
But sweating, sunburnt, exhausted, I could feel myself unravel,
I got home to my family at last but their faces were concerned,
Naked, tired and hungry I revealed what I had earned,
The crate burst open with a BANG! The gift charged out with menaced eyes,
A horse as black as a the back of a cave, screaming strangled cries,
It’s eyes were dead,
It screamed and fled,
It trampled everything in sight,
Blocking out the sun’s own light,
My family’s house was trodden down,
And I stood watching like a clown,
All the crops were battered,
My precious flowers lay in tatters,
And it charged our homeland endlessly,
As powerful and stubborn as the sea,
And then it came straight for me so I turned around and fled,
But within a second I lay on the ground, hooves stamping on my head,
I often tried to hide by digging holes with hands and nails,
But it sought me out through day and night, leaving ghostly awful trails,
My family built a tunnel whilst I held my wounded head,
And I lived down there in terror seeing no bright lights ahead,
One day in despair as I lay underneath the Earth,
I watched a flower bloom as if the dirt was giving birth,
And somehow that simple, beautiful thing filled me with relief,
Because I remembered what I had forgotten; the power of belief,
And so I worked my mind out with imaginary weights,
Pulling together all my decent personality traits,
When I emerged from the tunnel which had been my home for years,
The Black Horse turned towards me but I pushed away my fears,
I vaulted out the ground, erupting, full of determination,
And when my enemy charged at me it’s red eyes were damnation,
I stood my ground surrounded by the power I had built,
It was almost upon me, head down, stampeding at full tilt,
I grabbed it’s mane and pulled myself upon it’s black behind,
I straddled it, it bucked around, but I paid it no mind,
Riding that Black Horse day and night I could feel my power growing,
And I thought of the crops for the first time in years and planned to get them sowing,
Tenaciously I stayed glued to that rampaging Beast,
And after a while I found that all of it’s stampeding had ceased,
The Horse’s coat was changing to a lighter shade of black,
My family filled in the tunnel with Earth and I knew I’d never go back,
The barren trees were growing again with glorious green leaves,
I owe that to my faith and to the power of belief,
Flash forward and I sit perched on a marvellous white Stallion,
And around my neck I wear a sparkling Jaguar medallion,
The crops are growing wonderfully - better than before,
My Horse is tremendous and proud; red-eyed and dangerous no more,
My family is still hungry although the crops are sprouting well,
And we do not have the money to replace our farmhouse which had fell,
In the chaos caused by my decision to try and get more than I had,
My curiosity had led to greed and had drove my psyche mad,
So I ride out on the road again and promise I’ll be back,
Owning this great beast I’ve tamed I drive her down the track,
We get to town, and I climb down and lead her to the stables,
Nostalgia running through me I’m not sure if I’m quite able,
‘She is a magnificent beast! I’ve never seen anything like her!’,
The stable-keeper says, his voice an awestruck little whisper,
I walk back home in golden light, not worried for the miles,
Find myself surrounded by a wolf-pack, their pointed teeth turned up in snarls,
My faith is strong, my mind is steel and I am going to win,
The wolves appear to sense this and they treat me like their kin,
I get back home; my loved ones say, ‘Hey, where is your beast?!’,
I smile at them and say, ‘It’s gone, now who fancies a feast?’
The gold I got for the Stallion is enough to fix the farm,
Looking at it now you’d never guess it had come to harm,
I lie in the field and feel the grass brushing gently against my arm,
Watching the birds cruise above me with their everlasting charm,
And now I never fear the dark, or creatures of the night,
As long as I stay in this lovely place, the Horses will always be white.
Love, by design, is miraculous
It's purpose is to remove
Any sudden paroxysm of rage
Drawn from the tangled web of emotion
Spun from fear, resentment and despair
Making the pledge of a heart
For a lifetime of loyal dedication
Seems futile, when somewhere down that road
You lose everything you long for
Destroying the fortified souls of angels
It seems so easy for you to walk away
Hide behind your languid affection
While apathetic to my spiritual desire
Completely oblivious to the damage
The black heart you own is doing
Turn back the clock to a time
Before I can remember you
Perhaps, take me in a different direction
Our worlds will not collide
If I never even know you
If all that’s open to me
Is the fear of being exploited
I shall revert to the disconsolate
Bewildered state I'm comfortable with
At least, if it were possible, I could
It's ironic that through these crestfallen years
Cruelly, no one but you can dry my tears
Parts of me are leaking, spilling onto the floor like dark ink.
Those that can see avoid it like the Black Death.
Maybe they’re the clever ones.
But I see you, your hands stained dark as night.
The brightness in your eyes is the only light I can see; a beacon.
I watch as your tinted hands wrap around my exposed heart.
At first, I misunderstand. Think the light is a twinkle when it is a glint.
And then you squeeze.
They named what they feared, after me
They called it black
They named what they could not see, after me
They called it black
They didn't see their dark side, yet named it
They called it me
They smeared my face with guilt
They squeezed all worth out of me
They did all this and more
They won, almost...
We are partners in crime
I let them
I sweat blood for centuries
I looked down upon me
I gave up, almost...
I even tried being them
A shadow of shadows
I lost myself, almost...
I am mad no more
I live in a mirror house now, with them
We see other faces and smile, almost
We see what we didn't see
I am me
We are free, almost...