Look who just escaped the madhouse
Back out on the street
On the late night creep
Yeah, baby, I'm a freak
On the midnight sneak
Some say that I'm a fiend
But I'm just me
No one can hold me down
When I'm strutting my stuff
Got a style of my own
The king, the air to my thrown
Your in my kingdom now kids
That's just the way it is
Think I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this one (shit!)

Still chasing girls way out of my league
(Girls way out of your league?)
Yep but that's just me
And I'm not stopping for no one
Showing no emotion what so ever so
No one can shut me down
Now that I'm walking my line
Back in my groove,
That's just the way that I move

Look who's live from the loony bin
I think that I'm a rock star
I'm acting like that
Is he a mental case
Tick, check yes
I'm back on my grind
Ain't no straightjacket tight enough
To contain me
My vocals still aren't straining
From all of my screaming
dammit I'm a dog off its chain
Nuts in my mind
Out of my brain
Yeah you mother sucker
I'm insane (what?)

You think you got me locked
behind these bars?
Hand me a megaphone,
I got something to say
You know nobody else rocks
These chains like me
I'm a fashion model baby
Better believe it
Can't you see I've got it in my head
That I am a superstar
Rocking every single bar
Baby, I'm a monster
A thief in the night
Cuz I just stole your heart
In the backseat of my car
(Wait, what?)

Still chasing girls way out of my league
(Girls way out of your league?)
Yep but that's just me
And I'm not stopping for no one
Showing no emotion what so ever so
No one can shut me down
Now that I'm walking my line
Back in my groove,
That's just the way that I move

Look who's live from the loony bin
I think that I'm a rock star
I'm acting like that
Is he a mental case
Tick, check yes
I'm back on my grind
Ain't no straightjacket tight enough
To contain me
My vocals still aren't straining
From all of my screaming
dammit I'm a dog off its chain
Nuts in my mind
Out of my brain
Yeah you mother sucker
I'm insane (what?)

Oh look I'm rock royalty (believe it)
Believe me, rub your eyes
Can't believe what you are seeing
Get on your hands and knees
Damn right, you gotta bow down to me
Oh I'm bound to start a war
Lucky I came prepared for what's in store
It's a shake up showdown
Planets will rearrange
Then they will realign
you got it, right baby
cuz this is my time
I know you wanted more
I'm prepared for gossip galore
Cuz I'm an attention seeking whore

Still chasing girls way out of my league
(Girls way out of your league?)
Yep but that's just me
And I'm not stopping for no one
Showing no emotion what so ever so
No one can shut me down
Now that I'm walking my line
Back in my groove,
That's just the way that I move

Look who's live from the loony bin
I think that I'm a rock star
I'm acting like that
Is he a mental case
Tick, check yes
I'm back on my grind
Ain't no straightjacket tight enough
To contain me
My vocals still aren't straining
From all of my screaming
dammit I'm a dog off its chain
Nuts in my mind
Out of my brain
Yeah you mother sucker
I'm insane (what?)

©2017 Written By Benji James

Act I.

Prelude

In the days where even love was fair,
The horizon was blithe, light everywhere
The meaning of life laid out before a soul
A vivacious task to be surpassed before one is old

The energy of the universe mysteriously undulated
Some answer to this enigma stood there, waited
For children, fools to take Fate by the hand
Late they bloomed weak at heart, couldn't stand

The words of others who lucidly predicted
That one day they would be indubitably afflicted
Soon fell down the path of least resistance,
Belted vainly cursing god and their existence

Cursed, they were children under a patient sky
With miraculous gifts but fated, born to die
For so long as they shall live they will ask "but why
Did our timorous Chance dissolve to farewell, goodbye?"


I.
When insanity hung at the corners of the universe,
and Time stopped to pay tribute to those lost
As the world kept spinning spinning spinning faster than a
Salesman’s gab
When in the streets, rooftops we’d sit, speculating, formulating theories
About theories
As nights wasted being wasted slipped by like droplets of liquor
Into the gullets of the homeless
When come morning all the words had evaporated like
Fog, left us all thinking, pondering
As everything we thought of thought of us too, thinking of everything
Except what we traversed in days
When ripples of the water synchronized in flowing patterns;
And psychedelic rays glinted across the surface
As Bukowski scorned and Thoreau pondered the existence of time and space
And the relation of relations to unrelated causes
When the moon was dark and somber and heavy as lead,
And all the holy waxed and waned like pretty ladies in the brittle sun
As Eternity stretched out before us like a slender woman
With legs wildly open, enticing and inviting us into the Void
When window panes melted into our bodies minds souls hearts
Illuminating the unenlightened, the frightened youth
As Reality turned Fantasy, and fantasy turned nightmare
With a nation underground, under God forsaken to shallow minds and deep drugs
When the policemen protected their power,
And the powerful protected their defenders
As junkies slaved, Christians were saved, and the rest of us
Ran off like maniacs in humid July nights
When the stars were a lightyear away,
And atmosphere was bleak, miserable as wintry rain
As reality bent like trees in ominous storms
With a generation torn between the past and the boring
When days stretched out for miles with lifetimes festooned between
Frightened trees and tender leaves
As distant beaches eroded, and silent waves crashed,
Falling like timber which no one hears except yourself,
When you’re drowning in the darkness
And even the sun has given up on you.

II.
Before, daylight urges affix to our vehement souls
And the bright white lights fluorescent overhead
Draw slender figures upon the concrete
While effervescent vagaries liquefy somewhere
Deep below the roots of consciousness
And perched saintly atop a shelf or counter
There lies this poison; this demon in a bottle
Who belts, shouts into the empty building
While the mindless drones are lulled into a drowsy, vacant
Corridor of ebullient sadness,
Knowing not where they had come from
Only concerned with where they, that night,
Will end up – up – in smoke, experience
Becomes memory: memories then wilt rot
Decompose like bodies in the sultriness of the Carolinas
As time elongates toward decades as a result
Of some diminutive years: monstrous days
Soaked in gin and holy water
With ragged cloth for clothing, sleeping on couches
In houses far from home
Which live on sad streets with long-faced fellows
Drinking the last of the midnight oil
Waiting for the rain, or maybe an answer
From god that simply will never come,
Some restless spirits, blue orbs of light
Penetrate through the abyss of darkness
While hipsters, junkies & luckless lovers
Dance in the fragility of a summer dawn
After thousands of two a.m. rambles, intellectual stumbling
And fumbling with cardboard boxes
On consistently crass shelves containing
Over-the-counter remedies for small maladies
As a perilous crew loiters outside a corporation which
Runs a country while beggars beg,
And women must please while the poor steal,
Reaching from under the thumbs of Society,
As privileged forever teens sneak off
With capsules and capsules of lean
Itching for one last escape from harsh realities;
Timidly waiting on something, everything
To move or change immensely.

        III.
From the rocky shores of grey western coastlines
To the dusty plains, the bread basket of the country;
In insane asylums, in restless slums with smiles in the dark bent, crooked
Like the interstate, the artery of cities lacking heart
In the back of cop cars cursing the necessity of order,
While men in black suits pitch products to a nation unsure of itself,
Thin grave faces scramble out doors leading towards the highway
And the ocean over the transient hills beyond sprawling centers,
Sinners imitate god in the holiness of morning sunshine
As the grasses trees flowers moss grow in shade sometimes
Without love, only light and the business men take
Their ties off and admire their wristwatch
Forgetting the time, the time when life and living mattered.

         IV.
After countless minds were set free into an open world and got lost
indifferent waves and cool air fell over the land as railroads were displaced by automobiles and flying machines as wars came and went with it homeward peace for a time, the politician songs replaced words of politicians as the depression seeped slowly into constituents’ lives, the sexual revolution of the digital age ended and technology then surpassed human connection as air became toxic and the people too while Baby Boomers said the hell with the millennials as the last World War I veteran died with a broken world around him, as men thought like women but became them too, God turned his back on man and mankind searched for him in vain as forbidden fruits became heavenly smoke of tomorrow as wars arose for every cause with no cause for every war, and the third fourth umpteenth time the world didn’t end but held its breath

Into the pale evening two starry eyed lovers
Fled like bats at the gates of blinding dawn
After wild nights, which spun like the disco balls
That hung, heirloom of ancient times in outdated pool halls,
A new day soon to be born, illegitimate child of a bored cosmos

V.
In voluminous stores diminutive souls in lanky bodies
Chase their fix as the clock strikes six a.m. and seemingly the world
Arrives simultaneously at dull jobs while somewhere down an aisle or at a register, a white Bearded hobo is struggling to pay for cigarettes and a Forty, the slim kids sneak through Electric doors with 47 pills in their pockets yearning for a cheap thrill
Outside someone squeals out of the enormous parking lot speeding away probably late for work, late for something as a select few brilliant fools await an adventure
In the crispness of an infant dawn as two lovers cross-eyed
With fervency warm each other with burning conversation across town as
Chalky liquids embitter their minds which race and gallop beating restlessly with Unending thumps of hooves through empty blank meadows wrapped in grey
With uncertain eyes always watching through single-paned windows as 18-year-olds, Each other's aficionados, stumble in a stupor across country lanes bound for sleep;
Soon the sun rises above the horizon unveiling a man tweaked out in his boxers writing Poetry about bugs, speaking to Jesus on the side of a winding road as farmers and repairmen Busy with work and providing, stare in bewilderment as they pass by.

         VI
Amongst abandoned parking lots with shaggy leaning buildings and charcoal black Windows, Another interstate murders one more town, self-labeled country boys roar through the Heat and Death of summer in their trucks, blotting out the holy sounds of church bells as joints Are rolled scrupulously out of bible paper and the ashes hover lag for a moment,
Sway and twist out the window into the gusts of an approaching storm as mere particles of a Once green crop down the street land atop a headstone with a marble hand
Pointing upward, up toward the skies and clouds birds all things elusive, sacred on this
Planet of billions; the ubiquitous rural boys hang a sharp left on Foy Street passing Railroad, barreling North East into the scattered graveyards of mobile homes and trailers
Beat-down Chevy's and farm equipment finally executing a daring left turn past the worn Out community center pushing 80 nearly 90 on steep curves and dips as their glazed eyes
Flash forward bringing a pale, red figure lying motionless in the road to their hazy vision, Brakes squeal and the vibrations in the air rise chaotic: the interstate takes one more for its own, Another tragic death caused by indifferent highways and cursory shifting identities of Youthful brutes, brittle as glass, having had only superfluous-ness and shimmering illusions
As role models, bathe in insecurities and dress up in petty narcissism while
Crimson floods the sullied earth and rivers turns to blood as night fell like a shroud.

         VII.
Through some half-deserted streets,
By chance their frantic glances meet
In some bittersweet midnight moon beams
Conversation casts upon the pavement like dreams

Though now from the scene the dreams moaned and fled
That which was once born, once was dead.

Act II.

I.
Some 5 hour red-eye flight through the tumultuous Midwest sky
Along with petite portioned meals, ad interim friends Paul Irving’s
Perennial aura of tarnished silver splashed onto floppy green leaves
Which dripped, cascaded down like some picturesque waterfall of
Emotion swaying back, forth filling the Void with content sounds
That picked at Paul saying “play…” while displaying before him an
Orchestra of nature as the flow rhythm rhyme of the seasons
Howled and sung ceaselessly through the day with but one reason:
Life is the music we hear; we do not sing it with our hearts
But destroy it with our minds.

Part. II

Days bled red, like sickly sunsets which glimmer, shimmer
On some forgotten pond in some forgotten part of the world.
I’ll have clarity, or give me death;
I’ll have madness, hopefully, until the last breath.
The woman fled like the night like an eager sun arriving
And still the music, the music of love, of Life
Drifted through streets, meadows, abandoned alleyways,
Through those lost, some found, until the melody, so softly sinking,
Dolefully pierced through an ale-soaked reverie
Alerting me to all that has come and gone.
And isn’t that just the traffic of life? the ebb, flow, rhythm
Of breathing, loving, living that stops – stops, sometimes goes
Sometimes in meter, sometimes without, but she still floats, flows.
As one story ends, another always begins; as one loses,
Another indubitably wins.
Through my eyes, there will always be a story to tell;
And through their eyes, there will always be a story to sell.
Of the car crashes, over-doses, near-misses, and the like unlike anything else,
There sits simply like a Buddha in the morn, a twist of fate: a train to be chased,
Though, a trained chased far too late.
It is here, some there, where I stand, ponder, think benignly of the past;
Wondering aloud in a soliloquy unheard why the good never seems to last.

the formatting is this is completely shattered; just, still, this is gold...please enjoy it!

People lose their minds  sometimes
Without realizing it.
They thought they had it together,
But just had something
That they wanted others to see instead.

You sit at our kitchen table guitar in your hands playing beautiful melodies of love and tunes from foreign lands
Then at night you play with a rock band Hells Bells is their name
Music blaring heads are thrashing the whole room goes insane
At the end of the night you pack up your gear and head on out the door
Home to your sweet darling to play your beautiful melodies once more

A poem about my husband x
Shane Leigh May 14

I often wonder how many steps would take me to Mars;
Whether the Moon, indeed, casts its shadow over us; or
If we truly see the gaseous rays of the Sun.
Do we truly wish to be different from another?
Do dragonflies and lilies dance in the fading colors of the day?
Such beautiful reds, and blues, and purples until finally,
Black.
Giving way to vast lights of fireflies in the night sky;
Oh! How I wish to catch you and keep you.
The jar I’d keep you in would be glorious.
So glorious!

“I have caught a star,” I’d shriek;
But, as I’d look at you, I’d pity your existence.
Are you not safe in my jar bright star
Of night and color?
Safe from croaking frogs and wide-eyed lizards;
Safe from extinguishing lights of your light.
Oh! How I pity your existence fair firefly.
I’d set you free and watch as you fly again
To the night above where, again, I’d wish to capture you.

All is fair.
I listen to the howling of distant wolves and wonder
If those wolves, with sharp fangs and glowing eyes,
Would relent to me.
Relent to me creatures of fair coats and mesmerizing eyes
As we swirl into the endless black hole that is my imagination.
It sucks in all things and spits them back out
With vibrant color and –
Let us journey to Mars and back: Come … Come!

It’s beautiful,
The dark sky and its vast space full of blinking and sparkling
Street lights bright with colors – on and off like strobe lights.
It puts me in a peaceful trance
Like my dearest aunt’s sweet lullabies
Before it goes dark.
A spotlight blinding my half-opened eyes
And the touch of a hand firmly against my head.
Pulled taught are my legs and arms;
Tightly held my ankles and wrists.
A jolt of electricity;
Again, more darkness.
Then the sparkling lights of far away fireflies,
And I ponder,
Just how many steps would take me to Mars.

Innocence is no friend of mine,
My thoughts leading me to a darker time.
Dreaming of a pain, the kind worth begging for.

I've surrendered to your lips,
Soft and sweet, your addicting kiss.
Fantasizing, about you pulling on my hips.
Trapped in your tantalizing gaze

Sweet loss of breath, from your hand around my neck.
Lust in my eyes, as you thrust between my thighs.
My legs twitching, gripping you tightly.
Fading away into sweet insanity.

12/2016
allie May 11

wrapping around me like a snake
your words.
i didn't do what i had to do.
now your words
can make me slip
from my narrow perch
above the cliff of insanity
and i will fall d
to the depths      o
and to the bottom      w
to my death                     n

The stress that I have now about homework, school, family, friends. It's crushing me to oblivion. I just need a break, but my life won't allow it.  Can I disappear?
Mims May 10

All the card holders are empty,
ABUSED? PLEASE CALL!
SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVAL HOTLINE!
SUICIDEL TEEN HOTLINE!
These cards fill the library restroom,
(Library? REFUGE)
It's great these organizations exist,
Yes help,
More please!
What's more disturbing to me,
Is the fact that we need them,
Or even more so,
That the holders are empty.
The victims are,
Only increasing in numbers,
people are just becoming numbers,
And teenagers,
Are just statistics anymore.

He was kind to me
Got me a special box
Just for me to sleep in

Gave me sweets

I called him Uncle

He cut my mummy up and
Experimented on my baby brother
Growing inside her
But Uncle said she had to die

The other kids were sent away
To the gas chambers
But Uncle liked me
Because I was blonde and pretty
And he was going to teach me
How to be a doctor like him

I'd have my tools and I
Could put other people's brothers
In jars to keep
Like he did with mine

He said I would be the first one
To have twins planted in my belly

Would they sprout like trees
In my stomach?

We had tidy beds there
And it smelled nice

My mummy and daddy are dead
And I loved my uncle
But it smells funny in here
And everyone is coughing

I think I can hear his voice
Calling me
And I want to run
But there are walls surrounding me
And I can't escape

His crazy eyes are following me
Until I collapse on the floor
Dead

~~ Putting myself in the shoes of one of Mengele's victims. ~~
Mims May 6

I'm reading,
My third book this week,
I'm eating,
Swallowing literature whole,
One after the other,
A light snack,
(Teeny bopper, singletons)
But sometimes those stories don't satisfy.
(Poe, Cummings,)
Oh,
The list grows,
Like vegetables,
In a garden of wonder,
I wonder,
How many I can devour..
Before I explode.

My books are my escape, get me on the train.
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