I watch as I trace my finger against the wall
taking in the noise it makes as the nail comes in
contact with the wallpaper

there must be more to life than this
having the little things impact me the way they do
not knowing what to do with this heavy heart of mine
not knowing how to continue on

my body feels so weighed down
and my head is battling the fog

i’m looking for the light
to save me from the darkness
but something tells me
it’s not coming

It seems the more I look around
There are people conflicting in themselves
The hatred seems to store in itself
And there wandering around without a hand to grab onto 

Hope, is lost

We watch as they fall

Nobody knows what to do

This is what society gives you 

The calmness is now violence out of control 

And instead of looking for answers within them self

They start taking it out on everybody else

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

What you heard sometimes are not true.
It could be fake like a smile I gave you...
the loneliness inside is killing me now,
Trying to look for your hand to grasp.
Your memories gives me hope in a world
where everyone is so easy to judge
And I've had enough oh

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

I've seen the hurt
I've felt the scars
I've heard the screams in the dark
You breathe each breath
As if it's your last
Your forming in the shadows
Feels like you're losing your place
You feel like you're morphing into another person's face
Take these wounds that never heal
Take another pill to help you deal
Scrape another cut to express how you feel

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

give me the shadow to lead the way,
A light to follow in this dark place...
one more cut and I'll be losing my way...
Give me the time of day
Give me the chance to show I can change
Take a look, open up your heart
Know the story before you judge
Not everything you hear is real
Not everything you see is how I feel
Sometimes we hide behind a smile
Sometimes we keep the tears inside
Until we unleash them alone in the dark of the night

I see the anger the anguish
The public opinion clashes
It just fills me with overwhelming sadness
To see that Instead of handing out hope
Instead of offering help
It seems everybody's quick to judge someone else

©2017 Written By Benji James

Wondering how your life would be if you did not mess up
It is the epitome of my heart and what I can give
Scrapping pain ache at my veins but I dont stop
Not enough time to even feel like I live

Questioning if you even deserve being loved
It is the screeching screaming that you always hear
Looking down knowing you cant give your feelings a shove
But I am insane and that's okay because WE are

Take me to the cliffs,
there is a boy
heart is for sale
and he is shaking
I walk close to the edge
with this boy without a name
I try to save him

Takes me to the water
it's so clear now that he wants her
I walk away
The air is getting colder
I feel shadows leave my shoulder
he has nothing to say

Sickness that's among us,
moving back into a lawless state of mind
Sinking into sand
he's reaching out for someone's hand

you know

I tried

i dont know what the hell im doing
i just think i want to do it with you
holding
feeling
talking
with you

Vinny Chav May 19

This girl, she fucked me up but this girl, I'll never forget. She wasn't good at goodbyes, she wasn't good at letting go. She didn't know right from wrong.. lie from truth.. love from lust. On the surface I guess I didn't either. But deep down I knew what we shared wasn't love.. I stayed regardless. It was more than attachment, but possibly the opposite of love. Did I stay out of hate? If so, was it for her or myself? Or this world? Who knows..? I'll miss this girl everyday. She was my rock. She didn't love me the exact way I would have liked her to, but she was always there.. and I'll always be here as well. Just give it time..
      -her

I woke up one morning after we broke up and saw this on my tumblr. Nothing but confusion and unspoken feelings
BabeRuth May 17

You know what's harder than falling for the bad guy?
Falling for the others
The seemingly nice ones
The good guys

The signs are all there afterall,
Everyone can't stop raving about how wonderful he is
The ideal nice guy

And for a moment
Just one moment of blindsidedness
You believe it
You let it consume you
Revelling in the positives
Lacing together each moment spent together
Into a beautiful story

The perfect beginning, middle and end
Designed intricately by yours truly
A potential work of art
Destined for greatness perhaps
Isn't it?

The pride of your masterpiece
destroys you
Engulfing your sense of reality
Blinding you from the truth
The falsehood of it
A piece that depicts nothing
Nothing but an illusion
Another dimensional reality
One you don't  live in
And probably never will

And sometimes
In those rare moments of silence
It comes back
The crushing harsh reality
Your foolhardy choices laid bare
And you admit
Quietly to yourself
For who else can your true self be revealed to?

Maybe
Just maybe you were wrong
Those masterful strokes of perfection
The gleaming knighthood of it all
Just a lie?

A veil drawn over your sense of truth
So strong it blinded you
Completely
Drowning you in its falsehoods
The shores of reality no more than a distant memory

You know what's worse than falling for the bad guy?
Falling for the right one.

Megan May 8

The First: A ceremony,
a mayday dance with paper flowers and smiles all round,
we love the island, we love the island,
we love everything that’s new to us.
You and I in the field-dance of my dreams.

The Second: A house of mirrors,
someone I know sat at a table as I stand on glass;
glass everywhere – glass, glass, and me
in my bare feet
dancing around the shards.
Something stabs my leg, and I do not hate it.
I hate myself.

The Third: A ship,
A Titanic from my nightmares.
Not sinking, but not sailing;
not waving, but not drowning
and me, watching it go,
me, the drowning,
me, the drowned.
I don’t remember this one too well,
I don’t remember what’s real anymore.

The Fourth: An acknowledgement,
“these are all dreams”
I dream an acknowledgement of the chaos I call familiarity.
I am dreaming my dreams –
aren’t I mad? How mad am I? How many levels of self-deception can I exist on?

The Fifth: A death I can’t quite remember,
somebody kissed the soil of this island goodbye,
somebody knelt in the dust and the ashes of the paper flowers
(when did we burn them, you and I?)
somebody left, and it was not me.

The Sixth: An end,
waking up from a coma to an insufferable hospital bed,
the shattering of a dream within a dream
a reality I created coming cascading down from the night sky;
and you, the snowfall,
you, the cold shooting stars,
you, the glance into the night sky; the beg for it to swallow me whole.
You, the one who swallows me whole.

You are the crying at work,
you are the strawberry flavoured water,
you are the angel in my dream-nightmares.

And when everything melts away,
as the dreams sink with the ship, and the flowers burn, and the glass shatters,
you are there, always there, solid in a field of cold shooting stars.

You are the only thing I wake up to.

Mostly based on some dreams I've had in the past few weeks.

Darkness:
Darkness was my pain
My rod, my staff, my cane
For darkness I became

Not for evil, power, or gain
Nor for lust of mighty reign
But because I held such disdain
For the things to which I am chained

From the sky it fell like rain
A dark and growing stain
Chilling my shredded veins
The source of all my shame

CautiousRain May 15

Take me through the motions
one last time,
let me trail along
with my drifting eyes,
and let me hear those songs
I never could remember
or show me pictures of mountains
I would never climb,
let my feet shift slowly behind you,
tell me stories I've heard a million times,
and let me realize if I miss you or not.

Who knows what I really feel, man, who even knows
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