According to this here thermometer,
My heart hit ten minus absolute zero earlier
Impossibly cold and still getting colder
Think...nuclear winter,
Or Neptune in December
Sleeping in a subzero freezer
To be a smig warmer
Now imagine it getting run over
Over and over and over and over
What I'm left with doesn't ultimately matter
There's no chance that what I'm working with here,
The miniscule crumbs collected off the floor,
Will be anywhere near capable of getting the job done anymore
I hope there's no more of this repeat offender behavior in store

©2024

What I wouldn't give to be normal
Well,
Let's be real,
I know nothing about normal
Is there an actual definition that could be written in a way to make it simple?
I've tried to define it but I don't think it's possible
Forcing this to be rhetorical
But here we go,
What is normal?
All I've been able to conclude is it's normal to question what's normal
Other than that though,
It may be undefinable

©2024

Digging my own grave with only the handle of a shovel
That's the level of commitment that I bring
But I should tell you this one thing
That also means I have lost the battle
Probably because I could never gain control
Up such and such creek with no paddle
No shanty to sing
Mistakenly trusted an Icarus wing
But that was years ago
Here I am, still stuck in the flow
For what seems like a couple hundred millennia or so
Combating my own soul
Laughing and mocking
The relentlessness is life altering
Landing a career ending swing
Not declaring but taking it personal
And I think I just realized I'll have nothing to show
No,
That's impossible
Win or lose I present as a broken man not worth repairing
And hey,
That's still something

©2024

Hello hello,
Welcome to the show
Good luck getting through the impossible to get through MO
One long typo
A hypocritical, defeatist manifesto
More stupid than ******
Misplaced gusto,
SUP BRO?!
Possible becomes unreachable then unthinkable
Undeniable failure is sure to follow
First name familiar with the mental hospital
A revolving door install
Biggest chart right up toward the front of the file being that it's alphabetical
A tragic life, only ironically comical
Spine stained yellow
Same as the teeth, thanks Marlboro
A nose incased in a thick brown crust on the face, smack dab in the middle
Cornered with a dunce cap and a little bit of spittle
Condition has always been critical
I do take it personal
Can't show, can't let them know it hurts even a little
A forgettable imbecile with a needless purpose and a fleeting soul
Held accountable but it's not balanced or rational
Equal? I guess maybe, but not equal to anything favorable
Decent into madness unavoidable
Some of you are only here for the spectacle
Swerling around the bottom of the toilet bowl
Forced sabbatical
Out of sight, out of mind so I've band all travel
Departure and arrival
Business and commercial
An attempt at better has been abysmal
Wouldn't have made it past the pilot if it were a show
You would just know it was shiit though from the overflow
"You've made your choice" but not by choice, it's never that simple

©2024

...and I
I don't even bother to ask
I'm not interested in hearing another lie
So I
I just touch up my mask
A little tape and glue should be enough to get by
But I
I finally realize it's an impossible task
Physical and mental abuse still not as brutal as goodbye
Will I...
...
...
...
Will I?

©2024

Everything I can't show is what's going to put me right back in the hospital
This blatant cycle of denial is far beyond getting out of control
The pileup looks physically and mentally insurmountable
How can one person run into so much trouble?
It's unmeasurable
Eyes forced shut, but it's not always safer in there, alone and vulnerable
Behind a pane of pain, only view is through this soulless porthole window
Find it hard to dream when life itself seems just about impossible
I've lost control of this roadside attraction freak show carnival
It's too much to juggle,
And that's why I struggle

©2024

If flesh and bone battle scares alone make you uncomfortable
You could not handle a sneak peek into my soul
How do I manage the impossible?
Your guess is as good as mine, that's all I know
Never as easy as saying no though

I also know what I don't know but sometimes too afraid of the weakness I know it will show
So I can't let you or anyone else know
I don't know how I let myself stoop so low
I hate it here, basking in the dumpster fires glow
I had time, it's a flash fire but the build up is slow
Never as easy as letting go through

©2023