A shadow drapes itself across my naked body,
Weightless.. yet, heavy.
The shilouetted form cuts itself a share of my light.
Leaving behind a darkness.
Peering eyes, unseen.
I wish this were a dream.
Another sleepless night
There are days where I couldn't
Mask my emotions any longer,
And I let it all fall.
I let my wounds bleed
With no sorry within my eyes,
While the demons fall heavy
From my mind,
Laying down into the pillow
When sleep does not come,
But I'm not asking to feel sorry
For me as it does no good
Yet, all I'm asking within
This vulnerable state is for someone
To hear me out,
And understand me.
...at this deadly hour.
My mind is playing with me
In a game I know I will lose
Talking myself out of this
Wrestling with my thoughts
I'm lost in my paranoia
Imprisoned in the walls I built
The whispers are deafening
The screams are silent
I'm running out of time
I'm slipping to insanity
How does one get free
From all this absurdity
Its a game of fools
Its a pointless showdown
That leaves us with no choice
But to participate in anguish
You turned me into something else
Fooling me with false happiness
That even now I lie to myself everyday
With hopeless thoughts of being saved
I'm losing myself
To my psychotic tendencies
And I guess I'm in that state
That I don't want to be saved anymore
I'm tired of letting people in
I'm tired of asking for a savior
I'm tired of seeking redemption
In fact, I only seek assimilation
No more screaming for help
No more reaching for heaven
I'm storming the road to hell
I'm embracing my demons
No more roses for angels
No more goddesses to worship
No more queens to kneel down to
With open arms I welcome this atheism
I am my own demon
And I will keep myself satiated
I will feed my insanities
And I will be the devil you painted me to be
Dumping 3am thoughts
my demons started dancing with me.
It’s 2 a.m. and you sleep peacefully.
While you dream I stay awake.
I stay in the still of the night watching,
I see the demons that walk during the night,
The fleeting glimpses of the tall man,
The one on stilts with the fedora,
The hanging lady by the tree.
I hear their whispers in the soft wind that blows,
Goose bumps trailing my skin with the presence of them all around me.
It is a warm night yet I feel cold.
A sniffle here,
A giggle there,
Voices in the back of my mind.
Am I hallucinating?
Am I crazy?
I need sleep
What if the demons that haunt your nights
are the people that you've hurt.
What if the angels that protect your heart
are healed wounds and mistakes.
Living and learning,
fighting and loving,
healing and forgiving,
don't forget what life truly is.
i'll tell you about my demons,
and you tell me about yours.
maybe theyll get along,
well enough to fall in love
and leave us alone.
Let me see the side which is never seen,
Let me be the heart you never feel,
Let me be the light shining in the dark,
Let me be the shoulder you cry on,
Let me the love blossoming in your heart,
Let me be the hands pull you far,
Let me be the ocean submerging your demons,
Let me be the girl you fall for.
I step into the doorway
Goosebumps form across my skin
Four purples wall surround me
I sit on the bed, that almost became my coffin
This is where Lost Soul was made
I heard footsteps as my mom walks in
She says " I bet you miss this room"
But she doesn't know when I come back in here that I'm afraid
I look at the desk where I wrote my last goodbye
That fan dried my tears
That pillow soaked up my nightly crys
I spent so many months in this room
many parts of myself died
I can feel the faint presence of little girl and Lost soul still in this tomb
Ever since I moved out I have writers block
None of my poems trend
I wake up several times in the night
To just stare at the clock
Tick tock tick tock
After every visit...
As I drive home, I feel the room call my name
All the demons want to play
I drown out the voices
But my mind doesn't feel the same
as when I came
No mom, I do not miss this room
You have no clue what went on in here
All u do is assume
I say all of this in my mind
Because if she was to pay attention
Theres secrets in here that shes not prepared to find....
Happy Birthday Mom
Today is my Hello Poetry 1 year anniversary
Happy Birthday Lost Soul
Dark wave pulling me under
Dark wave filling my lungs
Dark wave ceasing my breath
Dark wave holding me hostage
Battling them wicked demons
They puncture the fabric of my soul
Using their horns to injure and harm
Leaving my sanity in pieces and shreds
Opaqueness and void paints my everyday
Grey fog envelops my clarity
Storm clouds gather to drench me
And whisk me away in it's murky waters
I don't know who I am
I don't understand why I exist
If there is no purpose there is no point
Living is just a waste of time