Going up wasn’t an option. I wandered down sinking deeper and deeper, looking for a way out; looking for my wonderland. I was never told that the only way out is to go up, so the deeper I went the more I began to lose myself. I began to find comfort in my sadness, what is this madness? Content, this is what I had felt, this is what I’ve become. I’ve made a home out of the darkest corners of my mind, like a wasteland, but it’s my wonderland. I’ve made a monster out of myself, I went down this rabbit hole looking for myself. I tore my heart up trying to grow leaving me only with my head, only destroying myself. I was destroyed, looking for a peace of mind I never got. These thoughts cause so much pain, so many triggering emotions and so many feelings that I could not control.
On my plunge down the rabbit hole, I met with an unusual being. This was no ordinary person, they possessed a style so extraordinary, and paraded it with such pride. He wore vibrant clothing and painted his face according to the patterns he had on. His face brought up a feeling deep within that was unexplainable, charming and enticing but unpredictable and slightly unsafe. This was The Mad Hatter. I was warned to not approach him but despite the warnings, I made the choice anyway. He lured me in, giving me hope saying that he knows a way out, but wanted something in exchange for that information. He wanted access to my head. I took up his offer, granting him access not realising how much power and control I’ve given him over me. I was told not to trust him. I should have fled as soon as I saw him. I was too gullible and too desperate for a way out. I gave The Mad Hatter all of my thoughts; now I’ve completely lost my mind. When he told me that there’s a way out, i was hopeful. I thought I was moving forward but I soon came to realisation that I was going around in circles. It was a cycle I wasn’t sure how to break out of. Each loop was harder than the one before making it harder for me to bare with. The Mad Hatter was not my saving grace, he was demise.