cam 3h
i am not a good writer
nor do i strive to be
this is a way for me to express myself and get out all of my demons
they haunt me every day
from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep
sometimes though, i’m able to get away
and those times, those very rare times, i am able to be free and happy
MalakF 12h
Why can't you understand that talking to someone isn't going to stop these fucking voices in my head? Why can't you understand that I was born to be forever damned?
MalakF 11h
There's a lot of pain inside of me that I occasionally need to open up my skin so that some of the pain can flow out of me.
i battle the demons inside my head
i fear what they've done
i fear what they've said
in this war, there is no winner
no hope for me
a lonely sinner
MalakF 17h
This sadness ebbs to my bones, it shakes my soul like an earthquake shaking the earth’s crust. The monsters will always be with me but is following them really what’s good for me? They bashed, broke and bruised me. If I continue this way then soon they will be the  end of me. This is not the life I devise to be good for my mind.
MalakF 17h
Going up wasn’t an option. I wandered down sinking deeper and deeper, looking for a way out; looking for my wonderland. I was never told that the only way out is to go up, so the deeper I went the more I began to lose myself. I began to find comfort in my sadness, what is this madness? Content, this is what I had felt, this is what I’ve become. I’ve made a home out of the darkest corners of my mind, like a wasteland, but it’s my wonderland. I’ve made a monster out of myself, I went down this rabbit hole looking for myself. I tore my heart up trying to grow leaving me only with my head, only destroying myself. I was destroyed, looking for a peace of mind I never got. These thoughts cause so much pain, so many triggering emotions and so many feelings that I could not control.
On my plunge down the rabbit hole, I met with an unusual being. This was no ordinary person, they possessed a style so extraordinary, and paraded it with such pride. He wore vibrant clothing and painted his face according to the patterns he had on. His face brought up a feeling deep within that was unexplainable, charming and enticing but unpredictable and slightly unsafe. This was The Mad Hatter. I was warned to not approach him but despite the warnings, I made the choice anyway. He lured me in, giving me hope saying that he knows a way out, but wanted something in exchange for that information. He wanted access to my head. I took up his offer, granting him access not realising how much power and control I’ve given him over me. I was told not to trust him. I should have fled as soon as I saw him. I was too gullible and too desperate for a way out. I gave The Mad Hatter all of my thoughts; now I’ve completely lost my mind. When he told me that there’s a way out, i was hopeful. I thought I was moving forward but I soon came to realisation that I was going around in circles. It was a cycle I wasn’t sure how to break out of. Each loop was harder than the one before making it harder for me to bare with. The Mad Hatter was not my saving grace, he was demise.
MalakF 17h
How many times do I need to eat a bottle of pills, to end this pathetic life of mine?
All I want to do is pay off these demons bills and finally flat line.
all my demons
rest in my head
dragging my sorrows
through-out the pain

amongst lonely eyes
fear takes it form
white lies
Some people talk about the demons in their mind
and the voices in their head
but i can't
because, not even the villains
are there for me
Don't really like this but i posted anyways
Saturday night nothing going on.
Broke two pipes.Hotrail here i come.
Room full of people nothing to say.
The Weeknd breaks the silence.
It my only saving grace.
Everyone's lost in their own little world.Just looking for ways to escape the demons at their door.Its not that hard to do especially when a new pipe full of shit gets handed to you.Pop a few more pills.Take another shot of shine.It realy is a cocktail that heals.Time to get out of your head.Time to leave those demons behind.Saturday night nothing going on.Just sitting in this room full of people getting lost in the words of this song.
my mind my reality my demons my escape my life.
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