maxine 19m
i hear a lyric of you in every song
i see you in every restaurant at every table
in every passing car
in every movie theater and grocery store
but you're not really there
not anymore
i've always had a hard time letting go
but i've never experienced something like this
i talk about you like a lost love
i feel you like a gunshot
you weren't a muse
but you were the pain behind every word
you occupy my mind more than i'd like to admit
i miss you when i shouldn't
your smell haunts me along with sad violins
the things we never got to do together
the movie list we never finished
all of the empty promises
broken mugs
ripped pictures
i never got to congratulate you on graduating
or take you to disneyland
you don't know what my new dog looks like
or that i got my first tattoo
i don't really know you anymore
and you don't know me
and i think that makes me more sad than anything
that the person i spent every minute with is someone completely new
i also never got to say thank you
for all of your hugs
the music you showed me
the jokes we had
the times you really did save my life
the times you gave me the reality check i needed
and the times you cleaned my self-inflicted wounds and told me you loved me, you'll never know how much that meant to me
you'd be happy to know i'm two months strong
or would you?
do you even think of me?
i never got to apologize
for the unintentional mean things i said
and the intentional mean things i said
the times i ripped your curtains down
or screamed because i was afraid of losing you
the times i went overboard
all of my unwarranted apologies for feeling inadequate
my jealousy
which have all resulted in losing you
which isn't all my fault
but i'm no innocent bystander
so like i said
i miss you
everything about you
and us
but it all happened for a reason
maybe we were a flame waiting to be blown out
but my love is still there
and even though i won't reach out
and i know you never will either
and the realization that this is the end has set in
i still love you
and miss you
and you'll never fully understand your impact
whether it was good or bad
you were someone that molded me
that changed my course of life
and who knows where i'd be if you hadn't broke my heart
so here's to us
and 2 years of friendship that we never got to celebrate
but God knows i thought about you all day
because i'm sad
and lost
and don't know where to go from here
but i guess this is a start
with my hands typing away
as my heart sinks
and i listen to a playlist that reminds me of nothing but you and our car rides
it's a start
so this isn't goodbye
but a mere remembrance of you
and all of the great things
along with the bad
because maybe if i continue to write to and about the ghost of you
the tears on my pillow will dry faster.
i am well aware the title of this is also the title of a fall out boy song, that was intentional but all credits go to them if that's a thing?
this is about losing my friendship with best friend of two years, it's going to be a long recovery process, sorting through the good, bad, etc...
sorry i've been gone so long, life has been busy, BUT writing is my first love and i think with going through such treacherous heartache i should turn to it rather than bad things. much love xx
as always, i hope someone gets something out of this or even just thinks it's nice.
Madolyn 19m
I wish that
somebody finds a reason
to say my name
with so much glee
that it makes my heart sing
and maybe then
feel a little
more whole
This is an old one I finally feel confident enough to post
Ezis 4h
Have you ever
experienced something
that has truly
broken your heart?

Something so devastating,
that it breaks
your soul
your heart
your mind

You question
everything you’ve done
to make this happen
but you can’t think
of anything

Over and over
the thoughts tumble
in your mind
the memories
flow from your brain
to your eyes
the pictures hurt
just as much
crisp and clear
they were made to remind you
of the best times
but all they do
is show you what you lost

The dull ache in your
even months after
the defining event
says I miss you
and aches for
the ability to travel back
a year
a few months
any amount of time
that could rewind
the heartache

But time doesn’t act
that way
Neither do I.
Going back
knowing all eyes are
waiting for you
to fuck up

is not friendship
Emily 5h
Red-Haired Woman I admire her
Red-Haired Woman got a mind of her own
But Red-Haired Woman got to learn to mind her own
Not everyone takes as kindly to your words
As kindly as I do
And even then, I raise doubt
Just like I raise the ace of cups

Pale as a vampire
Dressed in inappropriate funeral attire
She’s a killer queen
But not in practice
She keeps her Passion Pop
In her pretty hands with charcoal claws
Strangling the bottle’s neck
Whilst she drinks the nectar

She wears art decade black sunglasses
I see the world
Through rosy kaleidoscope lenses
I dream of marmalade skies
She speaks of vicious lies
Which might be true
But I have not a clue
I very much hope
That they are not

Because whilst I may take her words kindly
Without the slightest hint of salt
I trust that she is forever sweet
For her eyes glitter with justice
As she tells me these things
About the life I’ve led
Next to hers

I don’t want them to be true
Because if they are true
It would mean
I have not led
A life of marmalade skies
And of marshmallow pies
It would mean
That the roses I see
Are thorned after all
That the lilies I see
Adorn the funeral
Are toxic after all

Red-Haired Woman, I admire you
You're strong
And courageous
With flaming red hair
And eyes of sapphire blue
With spidery lashes of thick mascara
You do not die without a challenge
The world would be worse without you
And for that, I thank you
I was a welcome mat for your muddy and blistered feet
an open entrance for your troubled mind
a shelter for your shattered heart on nights where the silence became too loud

but soon, you took your refuge for granted,
my view of you over time became slanted
your dirty dishes in the sink were quicker to clean than being able to see what you were doing to me

a friendship that once felt like home became broken
and I became a pit stop that was conveniently placed on your
daily route
and you only paid in self-doubts

you were a wounded traveler that could never give, but could always take
and always left the next morning with pieces of my own sanity
I needed to lock my doors before I ended up losing everything
we said we'd be friends forever,
but now you're holding him
before you hold me.

i guess "friends first"
just wasn't for you.

i still tell you everything,
but the trust has vanished.

and after all,
what's friendship without trust?

i act like everything is fine,
though i know what's wrong.

i'm your shoulder,
i'm your best friend,
but you are just an empty friend.
It's been a while since we've talked
         but I remember everything

You used to always tell me
- You always know what to say.

And I'd say
- Of course, it's my job.
I love you.

The best part is
I honestly didn't
I never really do
Words just happen when it comes to you

it was never a job
it was a privileged
it was so many things
        Like late night giggles
              Shit talking those we hate
                     And all the jokes no one understood but us
                      (even if they weren't really that funny)

So of course I always know what to say
That's why you're my Best Friend
         the only one who really gets me
         or who I really get
Because people are hard
         which is something we both get

its all smiles here
no matter what
or how far apart we are
A little poem I wrote for my best friend. It's getting harder to talk because we're both in college across the country, but we still go to each other first with the important stuff.
Kiui 15h
it was at the age of twenty one
where I learnt that people change

it was at the age of twenty one
where I bid goodbye to my youth

it was at the age of twenty one
where I realize that my BFFs are acting strange

it was at the age of twenty one
where I learnt the truth

that this year
I'm celebrating my birthday alone
irises 1d
the days
so long and like
a broken stitch that keeps running away from me.

when will it be over?
i wonder.
only to realize that the people i love are also
running in the strands that I keep pulling

until the seams of my heart start to open
and its contents spill onto some unsuspecting

Until they too,
run away from me,
Deviate 1d
I was in love with a girl once,
she did all the things I wanted to,
she was braver than anyone else,
she was kind, smart, loyal.

She did crazy things,
Was rather outspoken
and every phrase that left
her supposedly "perfect" mouth was outlandish.

She would tell me her dreams,
we'd stay up all night texting,
and she would imagine our lives

But the thing about these people
who are perfect, yet completely insane
is that their insanity is toxic
and exposure to it can be too harmful for some

I fell in love with a girl,
she was beautiful, dazzling
All that wonderful sparkly shit.
But she was oh so toxic.
Things happen for a reason, we may not like it at the time, but friendships drift and people stop talking. Such is life.
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