You were a kindly ear when no one was here;
You saw me shaking and took away my fear;
You were a shoulder to lean on when I was weak;
You blew away the clouds when all was bleak;
You make me feel like I have important words to say;
A compliment from you can make my whole day;
When you saw that tears were imminent,
You took me in your arms and said, “You were brilliant;”
You make me feel wanted, one-of-a-kind,
And you’re the best friend I can find;
Your eyes are a work of art,
They’re a one-way mirror - we share the same heart;
If that’s not what a soulmate is,
Then I don’t know where else to start.

the forest smell
is not
for clarity and focus
but dear to
you
and me (not many yet
the two
who count)

shared thoughts however murky
remain
when leaves have gone

I'm not competing with you any longer.

I can't keep up with your tricks;
you lost my love like you lose your temper
Hardly at first, then rapid like wildfire.

The wild fire that I was once compared to
it now runs through your every action with them
And burns our bond to the ground, little by little.

I'm not competing with you any longer.

I can't support your insecurities any more
than you can pretend not to see mine.
My heart breaks, but you all step on the pieces.

I'm not competing with you any longer.

Stay if you want. Leave if you don't.
I won't care any more.
I've cut my heart out for you and burned it
In the fire you once compared me to
The passion that once burned in me
I'll rekindle it for someone else.

I'm done competing with you.

I got drunk with your ghost last night.
Our demons were in attendance,
and we played stupid games
like Edward 40-hands
and cheers to the governor.
We stuffed our faces
with your namesake and
I tripped over your shoes
and fell face-first into the concrete
that lines the bottom of your garage.
I put a nice gash
in my right knee,
just like our college days.
I watched the blood poor out
as they all laughed
at my clumsy tendencies.

But you cleaned me up
that oozing cut,
and you told me everyone around you
was a sham
and wouldn't care if you drove
yourself off the road
but what you didn't know
was that when I woke up
and you weren't there
I was screaming out
that I could have
done something.

STAY AWAY!
              
             Or else I'll fall for your smile
                          
                          Or else I'll get used to the way the corners of your eyes
                          crinkle when you laugh at the lamest joke I could tell you
                                    
                        ­             Or else I'll find out that you hate tomatoes but spaghetti
                                      is one of your favorite foods
                                                
                                                 Or else it'll be embedded in my brain forever
                                                 that for some reason you hate the color yellow
                                                 and I'll never know why

STAY AWAY!
              
              Or else my friends will start asking me where you've been after I
              invited you over to hang out for the first time
                          
                           Or else we'll find "our spot" that I'll drive by every other day
                           and always remember how good that summer was

                                      Or else I'll show you one of my favorite songs that'll
                                      turn into one of your favorite songs and you'll thank
                                      me for it

                                                    Or else I'll hang up the pictures of us in my
                                                    room and every time I see them I'll smile and
                                                    be thankful I have you around

STAY AWAY!

              Or else I'll love you

                         Or else I'll give so many pieces of myself to
                         help you
                                    
                                      Or else I'll think you feel the same way

                                                   Or else I'll think that you care

                                  
                            ­     S    T     A    Y           A    W    A     Y 
                                
                               Or else you'll have a chance to leave me

I wrote a poem about you , at 8am .
About friendship and how we could last till at least 10am .
But by the time 4:45pm rolls around ,
You’ll be beyond reach .
Something I never thought possible for us .

At 8am , I vowed that I loved you .
At midnight I still will ,
And at 3am when the pain comes and I fear my past mistakes ,
You’ll be writing poetry about her , to be read when she wakes up at 7am .

You were right for my soul

But not for my head
Or my heart

That's what makes this so sad

My hearts a pool of acid
My tears are shards of glass
I sit in the darkness
As time goes flying past.
I watch in silence
I can't breathe
As my world collapses
Was it all just make-believe?
A series of lies?
Lies I told myself
Were they your design?
Was this the plan?
Manipulate my mind
And twist my soul
So when you were done
I was no longer whole?
A shadow of who I was
A specter in my life
Floating through the cacophony
The despair
I'm Drowning now
Drown in the waves of regret
Waves of words unsaid.
To the bottom of this sea
A place with no air and nothing to touch or see
Was it me or you?
The one who took the leap
Or the one that fell?
I remember
Though you may not
A time of love
A time of friendship
But before I knew it
You were gone
Sand through my fingers
Only a recent all too painful past.
My souls' sister
It ended all so fast
Fading like a dream
You dissolve into fading memories
Your back to me, You walk into the abyss
Disappearing and soon,
You're gone
Gone is the laughter
The joy and love
Apathy remains
I wear it as a mask
To hide my secret pain
The truth of my misery
No solace to be gained
My shouts go unheard
The bridge begins to crumble
I can't speak a word.
The tears fall unbidden
I cannot stem the flow
I collapse down in agony
As I'm forced to watch you go
Come back to me
I beg you not leave
You watch my tears
with passive eyes unstrained
You know my pain
but you make no sound
No movement.
Did I mean so little?
Cast aside without a thought
I see now why
The answers that I sought
Lay before me glowing pale in the dark
Help me I plead the shadows
They cover me in a blanket of silence
Quieting my rampaging thoughts
I hear no sound
Feel no sensation or pain
All is still...
Have I disappeared?
Faded into nothing?
I feel no pain
No Tears
No joy
No bliss
No dark thoughts to plague my mind
My souls' sister I see it now
My life without you
Cutting through the inky black
Bright and pure
Full of fire and life
To fight the shadows you had brought
I face the light
I am stronger now
And I'm ready to fight