Our eyes met from across the room. I looked away. You moved closer as to prevent me from getting away.
You spoke no words nor did I, seemed as if we had met before, almost just like this day.
You captured my attention. I could no longer look away. Energy you radiated was baffling even to this day.
You asked to sit at the table, the room seemed to empty. It was my mind playing tricks on me. But before I felt so empty. That all changed this very day.
Your hand touched mine, tingles of energy. Emotions transferred through the touch. I knew there could be more for us.
I longed for your voice so soothing bringing me peace. Your presence, became an addiction like you were a drug. I was dependant on, your energy.
Love you said to me. But I was never enough. You sought out others one by one, only I called your bluff.
You made me captive my heart, my mind, my body and my soul. Making me be self destructive. You swore you cared. But yet you continued to roam.
You were my soul mate as I was yours. Breaking my heart in half which you thought was yours.
I prevailed, you lost much. As only one true soul mate exists in your life, all others are fakes. You learned the harshest way, when the others slammed the door. Leaving you in the streets. Thank God I knew more.
I realized I had made a mistake. Being vulnerable at that stage in life. You were a player knowing how to see the weakness. Your words were as fake as you. Blessed with ones to show me the way away from you.
I learned much from you. You were never my soul mate but a soul sucking demon. I learned to look past the game face of others just like you.
I found my real mate. My soul mate no doubts for sure. Should you ever read this note, know that I couldn't ask for more. I'm loved unconditionally. Protected by him. I gave this man my hand in matrimony, and shall be for him with him until my end.
Nashoba copyrighted 2010
Oh how nice it must be too sleep, to lay in a dream that's mine too keep, to play in a land of my minds own construction, to nest in my bed's slumbering seduction.
But dreams were never meant for me, for when I'm in bed my mind never feels free, its trapped in reality how dearly I plea, howbeit dreams were never meant for me.
Too fearful of what my mind can conjure, fresh tortures to use as the monsters go stronger, they saunter and strut in the prison that is she, for sweet dreams were never meant for me.
the voice in my mind can't possibly be my own
i've never spoken such cruel words to anyone
why would I do that to myself?
it must be a demon,
roaming my mind,
using my own voice against me
to make me feel unloved
urging me, after every small incident
to kill myself
i'm worthless and no one would care after all
to the demon that rules my mind,
you've gone and made yourself at home
4 long years and counting
you've reduced m to tears more times than i can possibly count
i did not invite you in
during a vulnerable time,
the door was left open,
and you strolled in as though you owned the place
made yourself a cup of tea
made my body your entertainment system
had be subbing till i had no more tears
had me wishing i was dead
it looks like you're her for the long run.
Well, in that case,
we better lay down some rules?
I'm in control and I always will be,
no matter how you may make me feel otherwise
i am the master of my own body.
i have a sad feeling those rules will never be followed
and my mind will continue being its playground
my soul an trampoline
and my body an artwork exhibition
I yurn for you to fill me up
With the knowledge that he forbade.
To touch me;
Soothe my soul in such a way that i am condemned.
See me with your ravenous eyes;
Wild and searching from the woes of damnation.
I beg of you to lead me in this valley and show me where to lay.
Sway me in the darkness and bury me inside perdition.
Hold me down with lustful longing;
Dominant and surging through the hands of greatness.
I need you to choke me with your forked tongue.
Whisper in the air;
Taunt and tease me with promises of sweet rapture.
Build me up under your lips;
Allow me to splinter and shatter in the aftershocks of your kiss.
I desire the release that you have promised me.
Drown my sorrows in your philosophical misdeed.
Write an ode to me and swear it must be prophecy.
I crave your full undivided attention.
Moan in my ear;
Sweet talk me with your biblical verse and cum loudly for all to hear.
Cut me and fill me with your untainted seed and know that ill only bleed for you.
I have fallen from grace and i have done it all for you.
I demand you tell me that you dont love me too.
a red beginning on the crown of his head;
king of nothing,
prince of everything -
there's room to grow.
under a black horizon,
the shades of red hidden in bleak
are delicious and
demon king, demon king
he spreads his wing under the eclipsed sun:
a shadow of a former self.
no longer does he wait for the world
for a seat at the table.
he has learned that hell can be raised
when heaven won't come down.
I was a child
In my found-footage memory
Guided by lights
From my house of stone
Outside my bedroom window
Man of straw
Melting in my grasp
A trembling hand
Running through my hair
A shuddering wind
Cutting through the sheets
The skylight darkening
But never speaking the words
My cosmic love is buried deep in the garden
So heavy it sinks into the earth
Ingrained with decay and shrouded in mould
Wrapped around my ankles I traipse the ghosts of my past
So heavy it hinders my path
Never any blessing, nobody to hear my heart of hurt
Hands around my warm pulsing neck
You forced my insides out of my throat
You bruised every inch of my protruding spine
You were the tumultuous ache in my bones and the venom in my veins
You ripped my heart from my chest
Crushed it, blood dripping as I stood there gaping
Red love splashing on the ground
Smashed to dust, my heart dissipated on the wind
A kiss for a kill
The demon gained his pound of flesh
Sing a hymn for your soul
Damned will be mine
Ceremoniously I will serenade your cowardly death
You gave me a hated love for the ages
And I payed the devil with your soul
I lay motionless
With demons in my head
Rest is not possible
I lay motionless
As if I died
To mimic the death
I've been asking for
I lay motionless
I'm stressing out
Why can't I sleep?
Why can't I die?
I lay motionless
For hours and hours
I cannot rest
So why don't I die?