I hug my mother most in the kitchen.
She reaches up to wrap her arms
around me, and I lay my head
on her shoulder. We breathe
together, relax into one another.
The oak wood under our feet creaks
with each shift of weight. The kitchen is

warm like her. Though that dead plant sits
in the window, we are full of life.
My mother’s fake green grapes and strands of
ivy weave above our heads;
our own personal jungle.
The red-brown cabinets and
bright yellow lights
shine down around us as we sway,
rubbing each others’ backs with a soft hum.

We fit together: mother, daughter.
Since childhood I have not been afraid
to run to her soft speckled skin and be held
by her, even when I was tall
enough to do the holding myself.
We have the same nose,
same smile,
same droop to our right eye.
Same tendency to accidents
like knife cuts
or oven burns
or trips over nothing.
Who am I
but a part of her?

My sister pads into the kitchen
on tiptoes— a habit she could never break
since a child. I see her quiet eyes
flicker downward,
see her scoot herself away from
my mother’s arms
see her close into herself
instead. She stares at the dead plant.

If her skin were a costume, she would
tear it off and never wear it again.
Instead of my mother’s nose,
she thinks she sees
my father’s stubble.
Not my mother’s dimpled smile
reflected back, but my
father’s Adam’s apple.
When we tell her she is
beautiful, she fiddles with her men-sized shoes.
We cannot convince her to
touch us when she is afraid to touch
herself.

We fit together: mother, daughter, daughter.
We sit at the island counter, playing
MarioKart on the kitchen TV,
talking about nothing really,
but to my sister it is
everything.
Our mother laughs like bells.
Who are we
but a part of her?

She hugs like an octopus
Long, slim limbs
Wrapping around
With surprising force
Until fully bound
Too late to react
You are trapped
By her love

let me have my anger
it feels like the one thing that
comes and goes
but stays anymore

i feel like sleeping too often
these days
and nothing much else

first world problems the
voice inside my head says
stop mocking me i want to
scream and cry but i

don't because it's right and i'm
being dumb and i should
just
stop

i feel like my anger is burning
out of my body
from inside outwards
until i fall over
and crumple into
ash to be swept away
by a calm breeze and

finally be lost of the tension
in my muscles that
never truly relaxes

the pressure that
makes my jaw ache

and the stiffness
in all 206 of my bones

i feel so angry
and i want you to hug me
and tell me that you hear
my anger and that
you understand that there
is no way to listen because

i know i'm not
speaking anything that
makes sense to anyone
that's not myself

and i want you to
know this without me
having to tell you.

Hey. Guess you'll know it's me by now. I don't really know where to start. Again, I wrote you a ton of these kind of letters. They all ended up in the trash too.
You know, It kinda suprises me. You said that you read the line "I'm in love with you." from the last poem I sent you, thirty times. but, In the letter I wrote you, I said it too. I really thought you'd noticed. I really thought you already knew. Not that it matters a lot anymore now. In a good way though.
I really don't understand the stuff you do to me. remember the first day of school, when we hugged in the middle of the hallway? Lucky me, you walked away for a sec. I was shaking, it surprised me you didn't see. How? I don't know. Or when you told me; "I would date you." And my brain just, stopped. I literally couldn't think anymore. It really felt like a dream, and it still does. I dreamt about you last night, I vaguely remember. It was kind of a nightmare, but before it got scary I woke up. But seriously, when I think about you I just, I don't know man. ****'s confusing. But yeah, I really am head-over-heels in love with you. And, I don't know what's gonna happen next, but I know it'll be a good thing.
Sincerely, me.

Hug me, hold me tight.
With you, I will say goodbye

Recently it hasn’t been easy
Lack of sleep
Horrible thoughts
But you
You are one of the reasons
I get up in the morning
Knowing that I will see you
Knowing that I get to hug you
Nothing has made me happier
Than spending time with you
So thank you
Thank you for saving me
For keeping me safe
For showing me a good time
Thank you for being there
When others were not

Wondering about your whereabouts
Omitting to see the people around
My mind travelled with you
And I think I found you

I found you over the mountains
I found you over the forests
I came close to hug you
To caress your face

I've been missing you, dearly
I was hoping to see you
I needed to hear your voice
I wanted to see your smile

Wondering about your whereabouts
Omitting to see the people around
My mind travelled with you
And I think I found you

You smelled like cigarettes and coffe,
But you probably don't smoke.