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Lydia 1d
The worst thing you can do to me is
Ignore me
And then think that will solve something
because we will be “calmer” “cooled down” “not angry anymore”
Yeah right
ignoring me only escalates my emotions
giving me time to think is a dangerous thing
leaving me to cry huge tears that soaked my face and my bed and left my eyes red and my throat sore is a careless mistake for a girl like me
Once my heart is cracked open
it crumbles like dirt in your hands
I am not a forgiving person
even if I wanted to be
I don’t have it in me to forgive someone for stepping on me like I am small
Inside I am bigger than you
I just have to find that part of me that got lost somewhere and I’ll be giant and so bright I’ll blind you
dear mother, this is my letter to you.

i would like to start this letter off by saying that i didn’t know who to address it to.
“mother” is a term that i hold dearly,
a term many use simply and with abandon.
thoughtlessly throwing the term around,
bestowing the title upon their friends’ mothers,
like they’re their second family.

for years the term has encumbered me,
chained me to a wall where the shackles have rusted into my wrists.
my arms have gone limp from pulling at them from either trying to get away or trying to get back to you.

my mother.

but lately,
i’ve found that mother is a term of endearment.
a complete bond of trust and love that i’m suppose to feel but haven’t for years.
and lately,

mother,

it’s because you haven’t been a mother.
and maybe...
maybe that sounds dramatic and cold and cruel and just downright unfair.

because you gave birth to me right?

because your idea of love is different but it’s still love, faith and ******* you can’t do this to your sisters do you know what my mother did to me you can take it
but i can’t mother.

mom.

i can’t take it mom.
you’ve taken so much from me.

you’ve stolen my health.

my ability to trust.

my ability to love.

you’ve stolen the compassion from my bones and you’ve robbed me of my childhood and i never got to recklessly throw myself into something that doesn’t matter because it doesn’t matter and i never got to live,

mama

i never got to live.

you’ve already given me guilt,
guilt that i already had.
guilt upon guilt upon guilt upon guilt

and you never stopped to think that this hurts me too?

not even once?

you think i slide through life, laughing because i have another mother who was better than you?
the funny thing is,

mama

is that she is better than you.

and it hurts me even more that she’s better than you.

because you gave birth to me.

you gave me life.

the breath in my lungs.

the heart in my chest and the brain in my head.

yet she’s the one that made it beat and she’s the one that gave me thought and she’s the one that breathes for me when i can’t.
because janda,

janda,

you should’ve done that for me.

not her.

you should’ve done that.

but you didn’t.

so i’m letting you go,
because you didn’t fight to stay.
you didn’t fight to change.
because i’m just like everyone else.

because how can you be my mother when you never treated me like your daughter.

i love you.
and i’ll always love you,
but i can’t love you like this.
not anymore.

sincerely, faith marino.
these are the last words i’ll ever say to my mother, even though she’ll never hear them.
Cindy 3d
For this time my love;
I will not looking back
I will not take the blame
For all your short comings
Am I the only one capable?
Of killing us
Of not being enough for us
Of not being patient
Of overreacting

When you say you never signed up for this;
You also said Always and Forever
For this time my love
Am to pick me up
To brace myself
To never look back
It's enough
For this time;
Am moving on
Lovers who blame every crack in their relationship on one partner-you are not perfect either.
A love like this isn't a love to miss
I visit my memories of happiness
Of Bliss
In my head
Painted fiction drowns out my vision.
The realization that ...
This isn't Love
Attachment at best
I fear
I fear
my dear , our love is but a game .. a shame
We hurt each other to feel love  we create to blind our pain
Last account @roccosilvestrie repost. I love this
You jammed your boney knuckles into my heart
And rearranged it into your likeness
When people said we were perfect for each other
It was all because you shaped me into who I am now
I can still feel your nails ripping away at me even as your gone
While all you feel is bliss as you shape others into you
But I believe you weren’t always like this
For you also had someone grab onto you and shape you this way
Until that was all you knew how to do
I see your gleaming eyes in the others you have inflicted
This cycle will never end
It is so strange
to see someone else
reliving one of your past lives,
spitting out the same words
you once spoke.
I think of all the different lives
I have lived over the years
And I mourn the losses
of all the personalities
                 friendships
                 memories
                 that I will never get back.

Time is cruel like that;
it just comes barreling through and
takes
takes
takes.

But I suppose what comes along with the taking,
is also the giving
of new faces
    new blood
    new love
    new heartache.

I cannot say that I wouldn’t have it any other way,
For I think we can all agree
that we aren’t given much of a choice,
otherwise.
I catch myself looking at him
and wondering if there is still a glimmer
of hope for us in his eyes.

It is your birthday
and my heart hurts,
I want to kiss you
but I know it’s forbidden now.

When I was a girl
I would always go for the most marvelous
flowers at the local garden to bring home,

And my mother would say to me:
“No, those won’t last. You must get the ones that have yet to bloom, in time they will become even more beautiful.”

I believe this could have been a metaphor,
for us
If only you’d have let it.

I can’t do this;
Exist with you, not existing with me.

Stay.
Stay.
Stay.
Syned May 22
Come look at my face
Tell me that I'm falling from my grace
If I stay awake
I'll be inside watching all the
The ashes burning down
So I'm sleeping here from underground
A prayer
A savior
Fulfilling my favors
I need some help right now
The world is getting way too loud
I don't wanna keep on living in hell
I don't wanna keep on living in hell
Shield away my kind
Knowing that I'll step out of my line
Trying all the time
To kiss up to a monster that still holds on to my neck
It tells me I'm a ******* wreck
A prayer
A savior
Fulfilling my favors
I need some help right now
The world is getting way too Loud
I don't wanna keep on living in hell
Syned May 22
like in those cinema movies
baby shot right through me,
swear to god he knew me
*******, got to me,
I was raised on running and
you slow me like Ativan,
I'm never gonna let you go
I already told you so
you're sweeter than honey and a heavenly kiss
Bonnie and Clyde would've never done this
I know that it's killing me slowly
I want you to hold me,
I know that you're trouble
but I could take it double,
I was raised on running and
you slow me down like Ativan,
I'm never gonna let you go
I already told you so
you're sweeter than honey and a heavenly kiss
I'm never gonna let you go
I already told you so
you're sweeter than honey and a heavenly kiss
Bonnie and Clyde would've never done this
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