I'm constantly pulled by the illnesses of humanity
need to empty my chest cavity
grow thicker skin, sharper teeth
find a better way to be empty.
I try to tear off the skin that I have
and become something else
I wanna end this contract but my last boyfriend told me that I couldn't leave
as I skipped out on work because I couldn't fucking breathe
and ran my fingers over my body wishing
I was somewhere else, wishing
he'd leave.
I wish I could grow sharper teeth,
I wish sometimes that I wasn't me
but the truth is, I'll always bleed
before throwing the first punch, I'll always need
a shoulder
after I let myself get walked all over.
I don't know whose voice it is anymore
that tells me to run, and truthfully I don't try
I'm so far gone that I'll only
notice the red lights after the doors are locked,
only hear the screech of tires right before
the bus slams into me.

There are so many memories here I’m
on the ground-up rubble of so many broken promises and the stench of
the few still rotting away in the corner;
I wish I was ancient, I wish I was
made of stone
so that I would break instead of bleeding
my chest crumble into a million tiny pieces instead of
dragging breaths through my lungs that make me feel like I’m drowning,
one minute fine, the next
full of black water and the remainder of what
could have been, or maybe things that never should have been.
I wish I could fly, I wish I was
instead of tied down by these weights around my ankles that
don't have enough weight to hold me in one place,
but just enough to
chafe my skin, just enough
to make everything heavy.

I wish I was perfect, I wish I was
carved into the hills somewhere, as if my image might
live forever in someone’s artistry, rather than
changing constantly
rather than
reminding me of all the
shells of people I’ve forgotten, people
I’m not anymore.
There are so many memories here, it’s
but maybe I’ll install a high quality filter that
catches all the debris for me,
maybe I’ll
grow my skin so calloused I don’t bleed anymore,
maybe I’ll
cut the weights off my ankles, or
cut my legs along with them
just so I’m light enough to drift away,
drift away and never come back
If you ripped my heart out
Right from inside my chest
You'd wonder how I often do
How a heart so shattered and empty
Could feel so heavy.
(Another snippet from the Lyric/Quote Wall.. surprisingly haven't come across the full version of this poem yet but I'm starting to go through another journal document of old work from RH who knows what I'll find.. Happy Writing~BM)

(Front Page 3/20/2018)
Amanda Mar 15
I love you no matter what happens in life
One day I will become your wife
Burdens grow heavy but weigh less if we share
From now on all our struggles will be easier to bear.
A message I sent Taylor at the beginning of our relationship.
Anna Mar 14
i want to bathe in heavy water,
engulf me,
kill me,
maybe the radiation could give me abilities
like those heroes who had nothing
turned into something.

im lost and im drowning
maybe being something
just isnt for me

so engulf me and _ _ _ _ me.
kiss, kill or save?
When your heart feels heavy:

1. Sit down in silence
2. Take off your shoulders
3. Hear your bones crack
4. Let your eyes breathe
5. Whisper to your heart,
it's home.
KM Hanslik Mar 1

How beautiful it is to live,
our sentences no longer abridged by disclaimers,
our tongues not tied by fear -
our hearts not interjected with warning labels
for fear of our existence weighing too much
on the minds of others,
too heavy to comprehend;

Give me the heaviness in your soul
(it's alright, I can carry it),
speak freely with me;
do not censor the depth of your existence.
Gale L Mccoy Feb 28
my body is a prison
i want to go go go
but the thought of moving
is a dreaded and feared one
i feel heavy
and tied down
obligations are a chain
that i must pull
but fear to touch
i need to keep moving
to reach a destination far away
but right now i am too tired
i shouldnt force it
but i am afraid
that i will never get up again
dunk poetry tbh
Biting my lips
Ripping the skin
Sitting, waiting, contemplating
My legs are shaking
Breaths breaking
palms are heavy
Heart is racing
Cold sweat
eyes full of fear
Tears running down my face
In need of an embrace
But no one else is here
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