One day you come across a guy so amazing--
So amazing you think he's the one
and you create this image in your head
of how perfectly his arms would wrap around you,
how his kisses will always be cherished,
how his eyes and his husky voice
will always leave you
wanting for more

then, suddenly, you realise
at twelve-thirty-eight a.m.,
that if he wanted you;
he would have his arms wrapped around you,
he would always cherish your kisses,
your eyes and angelic voice
will always leave him
wanting for more

but it doesn't happen.
and you finally realise to yourself--
that if he wanted you,
I mean, if he really wanted you
you'll both have your arms wrapped around each other
you'll both cherish each other's kisses like no other
you'll both get drowned in each others eyes
but you don't.

And it hits you.
Maybe, it was your imagination all along.
It was only you imagining all along.
After all, maybe he isn't the one for you.
Amanda 15h
Two kids blinded by love
Wracked with anxiety and fear
Finding comfort in kisses and understanding
Loving each other until free teardrops cleared

Stumbling through life in a fog
Hoping to make sense out of it
Alive with new wonder, bravery
Lightweight, carefree, taking hit after hit

Simple and easy was our world
Crave those first months spent with you
I am shaking off these memories
Hands cut from mistakes I tried to undo

Find myself visiting the past often
I belong in the present
Legs too heavy to lift at all
This burden of pain greatest yet

With you by my side I was courageous
Believed I could trust you to guide
Guard my heart, keep it safe
Not crush with secrets then hide

I loved you despite obvious flaws
Because you were not like all the rest
Vulnerable enough to show emotion
Humour that coaxed laughter out of my chest

Didn't care that you never took life seriously
That you wasted our money
Overlooked countless self-centered mistakes
For one stroke, the sky again seemed sunny

Understood why your words were riddled with lies
You were lost but not to blame
Your role models taught you to keep issues hidden
As you grew older you did the same

Wanted you to confide in me
Treat me in the manner I treated you
I told you every detail of my world
You didn't desire to share with me too

You really were my best friend, it is true
You claimed that I was yours
I have trouble believing that fact
Kept shutting me out, locking doors

Acted like I was dumb enough
To buy the bullshit you'd sell
In reality caved because you never would
Gave in so we wouldn't fight and yell

Aside from manipulative games and lies
(Plus an awful addiction of course)
You were perfection, warming at night
Creating bliss, you were the only source

Never thought I would leave you alone
Did not think I could handle the misery
I also was sure you'd never take it that far
You did, and I finally broke completely

Had no choice but bid you farewell
Down to my last resort
Could not comprehend how you could love someone
Play with their heart, take and distort

Guess you were too fucked up from the start
I was too blinded by love to see
Because feelings were pure and real
Even if they were the single true thing

I will always remember us with fondness
Overflowing love, couldn't have been richer
Little moments stick out to me the most
Still smile when I come across your picture

Two kids grinning, madly in love
Happily clinging to each other's hips
Not sure if I will ever feel that way again
Nothing compares to magic of your lips

Should have known it would not last
You were too amazing to be true
We were young foolish kids who didn't know better
Had nothing but our hearts to lose
If there's nothing to lose then there's everything to gain
we used to talk about home —
the house you grew up in,
where i now lay my head;
home as a feeling,
          as a metaphor,
          an essence,
          a being,
          a thought in passing.

home,
where i can come home to you.

l.a.c
Faded gilding, rubbed through to cracking, flaking wood.
A glamour of ages, sliding, flies to the breeze.

The little bird perches on a once-fine moulding;
Head tilted, one bright eye turned towards the mantle
where a half-blind mercurised mirror barely reflects
an army of creeping vines, consuming naked angels
and the God of this house.

Our hero’s velvets are ruined, dripping and eaten through.
Where riches have lived, decay succeeds.
Nature’s velvets; opulent mosses and emerald lichens
are devouring damask
and smoothing over marbled hardness.

The bird listens for footsteps.
The lady would scatter crumbs on the windowsill
and he would flutter, unafraid,
to peck at her sweet feast.

Once, she drew him.
Fine-lining passerine delicacy,
her pencils fetched him,
and bestowed him an artist’s nobility.
He turned, this way and that,
flashing gold-touched wings,
miming a duchess snapping open a fan.

She’s gone now,
and so have the crumbs.
The bird senses no sugar on the sill,
nor the faintest reminiscence
of lavender perfume, glittering as star bursts
at the hollow of her throat.

He sings regardless,
a mournful beauty
longing to return to a glorious, lustful age,
where light refracted in cut crystal,
danced upon frescoes
and illuminated the ugly –
- to render them enchanting.

He swoops to dance on the mantle,
answered by the mirror
and sits a while, preening.

The gentlemen and ladies are gone forever.
Ejected from history to echo as ghosts of fancy and excess,
undeserving of remembrance or pity.

The bird will never forget.
And knots up secrets
kept tightly in his breast,
committed to his tiny, fierce heart.
The Goldfinch is my favourite bird - both owing to its numerous appearances in Renaissance art and as the silent protagonist in Donna Tartt's book bearing its name.
Sky 1d
(i only hope that it won't be so sad)

somewhere, in an empty row of trees,
that you still exist
is a truth that i cannot believe

and like the gentle sway of foxtails in the wind,
it is a truth, that can be seen
yet cannot be felt by the heart

when i was young i would squint my eyes and watch
those faraway hills, bobbing in and out of my vision

and as if to say
those faraway days will never return,
the hills in my pillowcase
are easy to see and
ever so close

...

when i close my eyes i begin to dream, what is not a dream but a spring that will one day come to me, and in that spring, looking to find again that empty row of trees, is a scene where i turn my head to home, and unlike some melodrama i can feel the sorrow on my face meanwhile i stare and stare and stare with my heart, yearning to feel something that cannot ever be seen, and that is just like the gentle sway of foxtails in the wind...
translation from a poem i originally wrote in Korean
JAC 1d
We melted ice cream
in the golden afternoon
burning out at either end
young enough to enjoy it

we wasted away the summer
exhausting ourselves in the sun
easily friends forever
until forever was done.
Chelsea Primera Aug 2017
The bed breathed deeply.
The furnitures covered with
your luminescent fingerprints.
The silverware died slowly,
in the grey sink.
The house tried to talk to me/

I was afraid to step out,
Outside the sympathy of my house.
Into the streets spilled with
people of your asymmetric eyes
My house tried to talk to me.

I now have nobody left to lose,
As I lay on the carpet with a sense of sooth,
The chandelier finally sang its vocal cord loose,
The wires looped instinctively like prehistoric noose.
My house tried to talk to me.

Then I know I am not alone,
The house teems with your pulse,
The teacups came fidgety from echo of your voice.
The house tells me so.

I broke through the door,
torn award from the umbilical cord of my solitude.
Melted through the heat of the cheering multitude.
My house tells me, taking care of each word.

My house tells me,
I am not alone,
And you will always be with me
in spirit only.
Zoë 2d
Petals fell from her head
        Leaves withering
        Her mind was dead
        But she was breathing

--the truth of growing up
A nostalgic feeling, its always with me. Keeps coming back in tears after every bad dream. They are a part now, never letting me be alone..
     I get strange feelings of loss. Loss of something, someone, every moment its in my heart.  
Night before i had a dream of him again.  His face was same as I saw him last time, how I wish It wasn't a dream.
      But I too wish that it wasn't reality, cause if it was it would really hurt, more than I can ever imagine....
      Never clear...  these dreams never let me surface, I go too deep into the abyss and  i am lost there unable  to reach anyone, unable to reach him.
      I see him angry all the time like he won't talk to me, this takes away all of the life that's inside me.
Leaves only tears of emptiness.  
       Don't know who cut me, but I was hurt really bad.
Maybe those wounds on my body defined the ones on my heart, the intangible ones.
        I saw him there, along with my other friend ..
 We were in some place unusual. He didn't bother even to look at me.  Then suddenly I was wounded really bad.
        Every one there was indulged in some game or play. 
 I didn't feel like it so I thought of jus walking around, then heard that he was also not there, and was gone somewhere, so  I decided to look for him and jus started walking.
I walked away from our gang  but couldn't spot him anywhere
I was scared, ..
hurt on my back which bled and partly uncovered.
And I just kept walking past the lake and around the grasses...
Then I saw him, there he was standing on a bridge looking in the opposite direction.
              I called him" chand"  and he smiled at me for the first time.  It felt so nice to see him. We were silent for a while before he said" you really did come".  
I was all stuck there..  Don't know what I felt.  It was so real, His voice as if it was him,  Standing in front of me.
But that's not possible my mind revolted.
And I woke up, to find my self alone with only my pillow that could soak my tears.  Controlling my harsh cries and trying not to wake mum and shifa up, I lay there..  Trying to sleep again. ..
Maybe this time I could talk to him more.
Or maybe thinking that atleast there in my dreams everything would be ok.  
No, I just couldn't it was as if a lump was stuck in my throat, I couldn't breath, I couldn't even think why I was crying so hard.  Actually​ I wasn't able to understand myself for so long now.
           This is not the first time I can't sleep, or  i I am crying, or laughing just for show, or pretending to let go, or thinking everything will be ok but he never goes away.
Even though I have pushed him away so long  long before....
Its been a year almost. Such dreams are so common, they are a part now..
            
Thinking about him I fell asleep after a while.
Hoping I would see him again..  And I did, astonishingly.  
We were jus walking on the side of the river. He saw the bruise on my shoulder and placed his hand softly on it.
Then he placed a kiss on the wound.  I turned to him with tears in my eyes, and saw his eyes filling too...
I didn't see him anymore than that but I believe some dreams are worth living for..
A dream can be so real sometimes..
No place to hide
No place to go..
Jellyfish clouds in drift,
Their invisible tendrils,
Zappin’ an trapin’ air,
Leaving the sedentary dead weight,
Directly on my shoulders.
The nostalgic Sahara heat,
Travels through time and space to Ohio,
Where a younger me swam in the,
Not actually cold but cooler pool.
Ten years but two seconds later,
I work there, Date there, Talk there, and eventually
Leave there
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