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James 1d
Sentimental longing or a late sense of understanding,
I stand at the fork in the road.
Looking down two paths,
Each one burdened with obstacles and hindrance.
Do I travel alone through the frosted canopy, snowy trail in sight?
Do I follow her through darkened woods, regardless of the end?
Once I have chosen, how will I ever know what is right?

There are two paths, neither has any appeal.
Both require the past be put to rest.
I simply cannot leave my memories stood forever unsettled,
Alone at a fork in the road.
But, allowing them to either side requires decisions,
Which I am unwilling to make.

To **** three years of my life to being a lesson learned,
Seems an awful waste of my time.
To romanticize three years of painful growth,
Seems a waste of my intellect.
just me casually questioning my trans experience! **** im in ****
It is useless to look back,
and see how pretty and smart
you were.

You are still
pretty and smart.

You won't notice till...
the chimes strike past.

You won't see it till...
you are looking back.

You wont feel it till..
you are unhappy with
your present,
the future.

Looking back at the past.
Wasting time looking back
at the past.

When you could be
creating memories
to look back on...

or not.
Spent some time reading my old poems. Then realized I wasn't creating anything new.
You have gone million light-years away

Time waved last farewell with the aeons

The white nightingale sung his song before its

tender voice to be gone forever

The seven moons' light shall be gone

by the end of the twenty years of night

The ninth suns soon shall be awaken

From silver-silk slumber

One by one they'll rise and shine

Thirteen urns for the Forsaken

For each of them -

A single tear covered with thorny pain

and **** emotions.

Let the rain wash away everything else

Until it fades

Until your memories losts its satin shade



Time has lost its beauty

No one recalls

Birds have flown away

Searching for a new home to stay

Forests seems so hollow now

moons are no longer shining in the night

Even the ninth suns could not warm your soul,

nor your heart

They've lost its halos as they rose



You slipped away

Drown in the ocean,

I could not hold you back,

You decided to disappear

Where have you gone?

I should've hold you tight.

After twenty million light-years

My longing is still the same

I wish I could see you again
https://youtu.be/1v9PSbz9-88
Way above our little town
Sitting high upon the hill
The place we all  called Christmas House
And I think it sits there still

We used to go there sledding
No one once chased us away
That place we all called Christmas House
I wonder if they still sled there today

To us it seemed enormous
All lit up with lights so bright
That place we all called Christmas house
I wonder if it's still lit up tonight

There was a tree in the front window
You could see it from the road
The place we all called Christmas House
It was a palace when it snowed

There were wreaths in all the windows
The arbor covered with red bows
The place we all called Christmas House
I wonder if anybody knows

It's been years since I have seen it
It gave all our hearts a lift
The place we all called Christmas House
To visit there, it was a gift

We went there every winter
We would sled, have snowball fights
The place we all called Christmas House
Was always lit so bright

One thing I remember though
In all my time upon the hill
The place we all called Christmas House
Was always quiet, empty, still

I know it's been near forty years
Since I left home, moved away
The place we all called Christmas House
Still sticks with me today

It's a memory of a better time
When  the winters were much colder
The place we all called Christmas House
Makes me forget that I got older

I have to make a point this year
To fo home, back to the start
The place we all called Christmas House
Is on a hill, and in my heart
Annie 2d
just one more night
could you change your mind?
cause i might

we made this garden together
grew thorns everyday
fine as a feather
and now we are bleeding
but we are not giving up
we both know there's no love
its as if we created this fire
to burn what we never had
driving each other mad
they tell me im childish
to feel the way i do
do u think that's true?

we have too much at stake
too close to break
i cannot be saved
so dont ask me
what does it take
cause i dont need your plea
u cant make this fire cease
we grew out into the hate
hiding behind the dead trees
mumbling sterile words
can you hear me
Como todo lo que hicimos se vuelve insgnificante
Destruye tantos años en un solo instante
Un silencio que manda ecos a todas partes
Un vacio incuantificable
Un dolor intolerable
Una vida sin sentido
Pues lo vivido contigo
No lo replicara nadie
Round the circle we all sit
As a group reciting ****
Again just like the night before
Channelling hyena packs
The night alive with stoner's laughs

Double double
Puff and pass
Hold your breath until it laps

Heavy hits from bottle bongs
Sat  beatboxing old school songs
Passing round fermented potions
Childish jokes and puerile motions

Double double
Puff and pass
Hold your breath until it laps

Drifting off in ones and two
Mushrooms picked and set to brew
Mellow greens in china skin
Heady smoke smell covers sins

Double double
Puff and pass
Hold your breath until it laps

Acid tabs as foreheads sag
Hard liquor hits to beat the flag
Coke on mirrors razored fine
Crushed up E laid out in lines
Prolonged highs that last for hours
Bumps from Yale keys full of powders
Endorphins drop so fuel the need
Satisfying primal greeds

Double double, double stuff
These papers tight and start the tuck
Roll it up and stick it down
Set alight and pass it round
And by the burning in my lungs
Something potent this way comes.
Ripping off and devaluing Shakespeare....sorry.
Also getting nostalgic about a misspent youth.
Twitch 5d
I could be happy and loved like the sun, but I feel ****** and ignored by everyone. I could have fun with friends galore, but now im done, im called a *****. I feel so dead without my friends, cant help but wonder, is this the end?
haha, i wrote this poam but it almost feels like it was written by somone else, weird. :p
I want to be reading
A geisha’s memoir
Sipping tea with you

Comforted
By your calm expression
like that undisturbed puddle
behind your parent's house
is that puddle still there?
or has it dried out like our love

Reading so fervently
as though it was a race
between the words on the page
and the excitement in your heart

It feels like home
cozied up next to you
in that single sized bed overflowing
with love and blankets

Its just an illusion
There is no you
It’s just me
Reading a geisha’s memoir
Alone without a drop of tea

10/04/08
You used to like the way I’d laugh
The way I’d snort and lose control
I’ve things that didn’t make sense
And laugh even harder over things that did.

You used to love the way I dressed
Like I was planning a funeral
Or lived in a different era
Or simply a blinding collection of colours
Depending on my mood that day

You used to love how I’d be when I was drunk
Happy, flirty, sometimes a little too crazy
You’d hold my hair and tell me it was okay
When I got a little too sad

You used to like how spontaneous I was
The last minute outings
The random visits I would offer but never do because of circumstance
The random thoughts and dances I’d do out of nowhere

You used to love how happy I was
The way I’d look at you and the world made sense
The way I’d hold you and squeeze
The way I’d kiss your tears away and tell you it’s not your fault
The way I’d hold your hand and the world would stop turning for just a second

You used to love
You used to care
You used to
You used to

A thousand “you used to”s

And none of them matter anymore

Not to you, anyway.

Apathy was always your strong suit.
Apparently I’m too spontaneous. One day I’ll be too happy. Too caring. Too much. I’m always too much. I have to change that.
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