often times

when I am laying alone at night

I feel his presence with me

and my love for him is overwhelming

it beats in my chest

so hard I worry it may break my heart

This poem may be unfinished, I don't know completely yet
Thomas EG Oct 5

My first alarm goes off
I savour the last of my broken sleep
My eighth alarm rings and I moan

I drag my heavy body up
And into the bathroom
But I make a mistake

I glance at the mirror
As I finish undressing and...
Is that me ?

I don't know the answer
My eyes linger and I turn away
Into the shower I go

Rushing, rushing, rush...
I run to catch my bus
I do not catch my breath

My chest burns as I try
But, to no avail, I slump in my seat
And give it time

I close my eyes and fill my ears
I focus on the music
And let another day begin

Opening my eyes now
I catch sight of my reflection...
When, oh when, will I recognize it?

Dysphoria, my dudes.

sOOn

The world is coming to an end,
I have a Nuclear weapon about to burst inside my chest.

Heart beats much faster
Like the stampede of thunder
On the horizon

In my open chest
A field of blood and moonlight
No survivors left

Thoughts run much softer
Tears stand ready in my eyes
The light of day fades

Luca C Sep 14

I have these masses
of hollow spaces
inside of my chest,
          and I don't mean to get my hopes up,
   but I want to believe, that
you
   are
        trying
                 to do some
                                   good.
And meanwhile,
     I am sucking air
  into this body;
          and I don't know
       what to do
                    with any of it.

Listen to your heart, My Love
What does she say?
Tell me what you feel, My Love
I'll carry it away

Your life is in my hands, My Love
My soul beats in your chest
I'll hold you every second, Love
As you lay down to rest

I'll light a glowing fire, My Love
Within your deepest core
To keep you warm at night, My Love
When you are young no more

Listen to your Heart, does she
Whisper in your ear,
Of dreams and thoughts and nightmares,
All things you should not fear

Listen to your Heart, My Love
What does she say?
Everything you feel, My Love
You must feel everyday.

Meg Aug 4

No one is ever going to love you.

I tell myself these things because I know it's true.
The weight of possibly someone loving me gave me false hope.
I fell in love before, not even with someone I dated, but with someone I saw.
She isn't the girl I spent 5 years with.
She's the girl who brings me books, and calls me sweet names.

No one is going to love me.

She's the girl who makes my problems float above my head, almost invisible.
The smile I wear isn't fake.
When her hand holds mine, I feel like a giddy school girl.

No one will ever love me.

I'm not someone who has loving friends.
I'm someone who allows myself to be pushed.
My bones break, and my chest is tight.

She will never love me.

I pushed her away because my disorder and mind is too heavy to hold.
She will never invite me to hang out, or have fun.
I have to accept this.

Esther Jul 26

To all my demons:
Hello and welcome – back.
My chest is open for your return,
Pining for the familiar pressure
Of your phantom limbs pressed against my ribs
And slowing the blood flow to my heart.
I wonder, has your presence really lessened me?
Has your presence really ruined me?
Because the lower the blood pressure,
The harder it is to gather up
The courage, the steadiness, the willingness
To act on your orders.

To all my demons:
Hello and how are you – today?
I can’t say I don’t think about your well-being
The moment I wake from the loneliness,
Thinking maybe I’ll never get an answer
If you ever stay away.
They say you’re never really fulfilled,
Until you wish upon your enemies
The same happiness you want for yourself;
And here I am in this pit you’ve dug for me,
Floating on my tears,
Hoping in silence for your own freedom - from me.
My own pruning hands will hold the door shut
As I say this,
Hoping you continue to suffocate us both,
Gracing me with your reliable company – daily.

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