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Shea Jun 2
A veil of fear
Floats around my face
I was some starry eyed child
Never taught self control

The fear of aging
And living through this day in age
Consumes me
And wanders aimlessly
In my brain
But still seems to stop me in my tracks

The things I’ve done
Remind me not only
That I am imperfect
But that I am aging
Growing into a starry eyed woman
Who learned that she can change
Because when you stop growing
You are dead
And I am full of life
I have nothing but time

And even so
Even if this veil of fear
Floats around my face
There are things I can only
Learn with time
There are things that only
Come with age
And I am aging all the time
I am growing all the time

So in that time
I will throw the veil from off my face
I am not afraid to age
I am not afraid to change
RC May 10
The cans in my room clang like church bells on a Sunday
waking me from a slumber as I roll in my blankets
the wind sweeps my cheek
my minds still asleep
but my eyes flutter anyway

I can taste last nights regrets on my tongue
like I spilled so many words
my mouth has nothing left to taste

Beer still rolls in my belly
holds me like an apology
as I reach for more water
I want to reach for something more
Don’t delay, just start today
This glad message I convey
Bitcoin’s here, so act straightway
For Bitcoin keeps on growing

Money printing never ends
For the rich, and for their friends
Government just spends & spends
While Bitcoin keeps on growing

Bitcoin brings deflation’s gains
Come break free from fiat’s chains
Hold some value that remains
As Bitcoin keeps on growing

Take some time to sit and learn
To store the value that you earn
Act right now - this is your turn
Since Bitcoin keeps on growing

More good people, every day
Move to Bitcoin’s better way
Get some now, and don’t delay
As Bitcoin keeps on growing
You can see this poem on a background here
Why am i waiting
To feel something
Like when I was young
Thoughts and memories
Accumulate inside my head
But still my heart is numb

I feel anguish
And sometimes I might feel some pride
But it's only surface deep
I watch my actions
As though I'm watching someone else
Making mistakes on repeat

Every day I'm
going through the motions
It's all work and it's no play
And when I find the time
To catch up with my old friends
I've got nothing to say.

Neural pathways
Digging grooves inside my brain
Habits getting more entrenched.
Grim predictions
I must resist this limbic friction
but I just don't have the strength.

When did my horizons
become so narrow?
Ambitions have slipped out of sight
The future is empty
Just body clinging onto soul
Going gentle into night.
this might become the lyrics to a gloomy post punk song
Bambi Apr 4
were we really the same person or did we just try to convince each other because we both had broken souls that just wanted to be loved
i can’t stop thinking about that innocence years ago when we were just sad kids afraid to even move an inch closer
what i would give to go back if i knew what life would become, that it could get even tougher and colder and uglier
i would trade anything for a moment more of innocence with you
but i guess as we grew up, we had to adapt
and i’m glad at least i got to experience your skin on mine before the world collapsed
Victoria Mar 21
In quiet nights my grandma cries
We talk of death and people’s eyes
We miss our words, she sees a vein
I ask her, but she’s not in pain
Heather Feb 29
I’ve lost track of the time I’ve spent in this mental tug of war.
Im still hoping to be better than the last time we said goodbye.
I’ve been walking the line between demure and unleashed.
The glitter of others catch my eye, tho fleeting
None illuminate me like you.
I feel the dimming as I walk deep into this cavern.
The farther I walk the harder it is to see that from which I came.
I don’t recognize me; not in my reflection and not in my heavy steps.
There’s no certainty that this is a path of healing.  
And I know healing; my hands have willed it with vashe soaked gauze.
And I know healing; I’ve auscultated it in lobes and bases.
And I know healing; I’ve smelled it in the excrement of the bedridden.
And I know healing.
I know healing?
Finally blocking Ty
Monica Mourad Feb 20
One was left reeling
The other went on with  life

Two people words exchanged
On a Thursday at 2:00 pm
Feelings emotions intentions coming to light
One’s truth blindsiding the other’s truth
4 months of you and me
Trickled down to a 20 minute text exchange
That’s what I was worth to you.

Her reply unshaken disappointment
His reply an aloof “don’t be stranger … let’s be friends”
Silent tears mourning the idea of what could have been - she refused to let him see her break .
Him going about life - realizing he might not really want a clean break.

Me saying take care - walking away
You saying add me on social media - trying to keep me in your life

Words said can’t be unsaid
This is how the story of us ends.
I hate this part right here... the end.
AE Feb 17
purple, yellow bruises
from playing outside
and picking up pebbles
to throw at tomorrow
and chase it away
the sky was never blue
as we never had enough strength
to look up past our little heads
engulfed in the wonders of chalk and road
when secrets were worth flower petals
and flew away with the wind
unlike the ones we hold today
with aching shoulders
and burning pains
from looking up and only up
and witnessing how fast
these colours change
terracotta, navy, to grey
as all these pebbles wash away
Ostef Jan 28
I wake up at morning light
with no more will left to fight
I look in the mirror at a face
I've never been able to embrace
I told my self yesterday, todays a new day
but always knew that was a cliche
I don't want pain, I want to be better
but night comes and then I surrender

a hit here and a hit there
a sip here and a sip there

maybe this hole is deeper than I remember

I love myself in a toxic way
but I still love myself
I struggle with depression even though I've never been diagnosed but its never felt more real
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