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Ms Noma Aug 5
Being unhappy
Stresses me out
I go all crappy
And fill up on self-doubt

It consumes me
It eats me
Unfree me
Let me be

Disorder and mess
Become my companions
That good old stress
I need to abandon

To live carefree
And soar to the sky
To live vicariously
Is to live in a lie
Phi Kenzie Sep 11
I sit silent
quiet but awake
saving energy

Prepared for interaction
scared of wasting power
I wait

Slowly cyclical
Hunter Green Sep 7
You brought me to my lowest low,
You said, "I sent them so you wouldn’t go."
And I know you were looking for something,
I'm sorry I caved, and gave into your lusting.
I wish I could’ve been forever,
but you know now that life wasn't meant for us to be together.
liv Sep 5
here i am rising
up the chain lift
and for a split second
i’m on top of the world
i can see everything clearly
and as soon as it began
i come crashing down
so fast
it could give me whiplash
everything moving in a blur
and the feeling makes me ill
so i’m stuck riding
this endless rollercoaster
and you’d think i’d be used to it
by now
but hey
at least i’m living
upper and downer
stopdoopy Aug 27
Wishy Washy.

Tumbling,

Between high and low,

Hot and cold.

Am I delicate like the load of whites? do I need to refresh my color with a strong drink- bleach?

Or am I tough and resistant like denim? toss me in for an hour, shove soap down my throat, and I'll come out like new?

Maybe I'm a mixed load, balancing between the two; teeter-tottering from feeling to feeling.
The day I wrote this I had dreamt of someone who used to be very dear to me who I am having to forget, to better myself. She hurt me bad and I'd been having the same dream of us repairing our relationship for a few months now, and I've felt like a washing machine with my guts twisting and pulling with my emotions going from one end of the spectrum to the next; low in morning, high in the middle of the day, unknown at night. I've had amazing friends, Trixie, Luigi, Houk, Rin, Cait-Cait, and many others who've helped me through these past months who I can't thank enough for their continued support. Whenever I have these dreams and feel this way it feels like a step backwards and I end up feeling guilty for no reason just because I have them, and so I'm hoping that by writing this out it's a step in the right direction. Feeling like this is normal after you've spent some great times with someone you've cared about- weather it's months or years, it hurts and it's okay. I know time will heal these wounds eventually, so for now here's a Band-Aid.

Dedicated to everyone who's been hurt and felt this way or similar, and to my amazing friends;  I hope we all find what we need and can better ourselves, and be happy.
Arke Aug 24
eyes made of glass
skin becomes fallen rain
how I wish I were numb
to feel no pain
but the memory of you
will always remain

the blood in my veins
heart pulses for you
trace outlines on my wrist
a roadmap of blue
will you follow me here
is your navigation true

I fear being out of view
walking barefoot through frost
I can see my breath now
as I become lost
a cold chill tugs at my strings
when I walk to exhaust
For many years I have been on diets. lost weight and gained it all back. The biggest mistake was when I ignore unhealthy choices. Long term had significant consequence's -for example various health problems. Time and time again I have been caught up in the same rut. I have neglected my health.  It has taken a lot of thought as to why I couldn't control these   food binges . firstly I had to dig deep find out the root cause of my problem. after many years of pain of over eating I learned that I was only hurting myself more.   often my anger was passive and that would affect my diet.  Fear seemed to be another emotion that would make me turn to snacking. anything from cream crackers cheese and biscuit's.
that's the only way I could suppress my emotions. other words I relie on food to comfort my emotions.

the battle to stay from bad choices was unbearable while everyone else seemed to be enjoying sweet things, I new I shouldn't  but I just gave into it. Soon it became a very bad habit leading to a huge amount of weight gain. I soon realised my clothes were becoming tighter uncomfortable  to wear. Only I could be the one to change things  what I needed was inspiration, motivation,  from somewhere but were.?  

Day after day I struggled to get motived until one day while eating a big hunk of bread my crown tooth fell out. That's when I said enough  was enough. Today my journey begins
the weight of a thousand words
heavy on my heart
slowing me down
dragging me low
i need to break away
i am chained
you hurt me
Amanda Aug 8
I am finding it hard to believe you
Second-guessing every word you swear is true
Won't withstand deceit anymore
Many times I let lies slide through

I set the bar too low
You didn't bother aiming high
If I mattered like you claim I did
You would do a lot more than just try
If its important you will find a way if it's not you'll find an excuse
V Exeter Jul 31
Damn thing won't start
I dunno why
I want to depart
But it's like energy
once filling,
has gone first.

Fuck. Lust won't burn
I dunno why
I want ash in urns
But it's like temptation
once roaring,
purrs.

There was a time when I
thought I could be pure.
Here & now, I know, the
opposite, for sure.

Now that I know: memories of heat
smolder down from blaze.

Fuck. Lust won't burn
Fuck. Where is the body
& its attached mind that
wishes to wiggle within
the crook I make
the crescent shape?

Fuck. Lust won't burn
Fuck. Where is the pothead
& half dead, whose goal is
to breathe deep, before death?
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