Again and again
I do this to myself
I let the wrong ones in
I fall for the ones who don't feel anything for me
I'm too nice
Too sweet
Such an easy target for emotional manipulation
I think I have finally learned
To keep to myself
And not let anyone in anymore
Because I'm such a fool
To think I can change the mind
Of an emotionally detached individual
At least I try to enjoy the ride
While I'm being strung along.

Sam 1d

A blackened path
A darkened soul
Reasons I fight
Lost from my sight

Slowly forgetting
What used to be
What could have been

When my light dims
The shadows come to take me
When my light dims
Will you be there to save me?

Or will I fade away?
Forever in the gray
Blessed by this deception
In need of resurrection

A bird with broken wings
This bird no longer sings

Time becoming thin
With each passing day
My heart is more constricted
Please come and cut the chain
Save me from this sorrow
And free
I will fly again

Love
Such a fragile thing
It can be made from a single spark
Or broken by a simple act

These traits carry with us
The pain we endure
The joys we seek
All from a single spark

Love can fade into despair
For me that has already begun
Love is no more tragic
than the falling petals of a rose

Diseased by compassion
Lost without a cause
We seek which we can't find
To fill in the void

The pain we feel
Only to comfort us
To tell us that
We are in fact alive

Love is null and void
Taken away by tragedy
Knowing not where it leads us
But feeling empty again

Sam 1d

I would be your sword, if you would be my shield.
I would fight away your sorrows, if you protect me from myself.

If you would be my rose, I would be your water.
I would keep your roots alive, and show you how to thrive.
Without you, I would dissipate.
Eaten by the soil.

I would be the clock, if you would be my hands.
I'm stuck here in the past, and need you to move forward.

If you would be my kite, I would be your wind.
I'd take you to new heights.
Embracing every ounce of your beauty.
Showing you off to the world.

I guess it's nice to dream.

:-(

I don't know
If I am worth
The ground I walk on
Because it consumes
All that I have
And all that I ever hope to be.

Sorry if I sound like I feel sorry for me..but I do ...

My dreams turned to black,
I cannot get them back.
My life is an error
but now I'll spread terror.
They all made me cry,
killed all light inside.
They laughed at my hopes,
but I'll be the one tying their ropes.
I'm broken apart,
now I'll smash their hearts.
No mercy nor remorse,
you better be calling your hearse.
The pain becomes rage,
I won't be sorry for the rampage.
Because the tears that I've cried
no one heard through the night,
the tears that I've bled
show the words that they said.
My empty brown eyes
for sure you'll despise.
And your warmth they will steal,
you'll tell me how painful it feels.
I'll crush your head open,
I fantasize about it popping.
I'll torn apart your chest,
with a demonic wrath you'll be blessed.
One day they'll beg on their knees
but I'll have become a deadly disease.
If you're wondering when will it end,
it's simple, with the caress from a friend.
A friend who's hurting like me,
someone who comes as a soft breeze.
A caressing hand to free me from disease,
a gentle touch to make my cold dead heart unfreeze.

As I was writing this I felt pain, then anger, then sadness and finally sadness.
Sometimes the things we need are the things we'll never have.

Too jealous to justify
I earnestly belived I could capture
These ever passing moments in time

And as each one falls past my fingertips
As coarse words fall from my unkempt lips
I only find myself cursing
The lucky few, for whom words are never amiss
And am left still rehearsing
Searching for a way to capture bliss

Too depressive for my own good
And far too negative
Tortured? No
That might imply I can be understood

Lightweight?
That's a bit closer I suppose
I'd ask you to do it
If I thought you would

Overblown and borderline
Constantly finding ways to undermine
To my detriment
To retreat or to repent
Or keep going
Down this beaten path I did invent

Ages pass

Years fly by

Days crawl on till there's hardly any time

Finite and dwindling

Ever draining supply

I still can't find a way to aliviate what's on my mind.


Might as well keep writing down
The same thing

...

...

There is a hand in the air.
Even this seems distant.
For the need to trace it to its origin arrives.
And even though.
The limb is your own.
The fact that this surprise.
Doesn't raise alarm.
Isn't surprising.
For not even the cold in the air has come to greet its guest.
To even grasp the concept.
One finds alternate ways to stimulate the so called sensors.
Yet what is found.
Only seems to bring more nothingness.
Questions and answers alike.
Because there can be neither.
If there isn't anyone to present them.    
Having to deal with two minds is company enough.
Sooner or later.
Perspective takes hold.
And the relativity of problems and solutions become one.
Sadly there isn't much else to be done.
When the answer is there.
But its contents.
Are what began this venture.
Give me strength.
Or give me freedom.
Free me from this icy prison so that..
I may wake in the dream.
At least there the picture remains.

Josh Jul 15

I am giving up
I will not get up tomorrow
Until, I have to go
To work
I will not eat breakfast
I will simply, go
I will not come home
When I finish
I will go, and sit
I will read, and write
Until I am told
I will not speak
Until I am asked
I will not eat
Unless I am ordered
I will go, to my room
I will not try
I will not bother
I am giving up

Jobira Jul 14

At some point in time, everything must
Come to a complete standstill,
Even this precious thing we call life.

I am walking away!

I have had the emotional agility and fortitude,
Dealing with all your onerous behaviors.

You had put me through more than I can take, as
I was waiting patiently for you to change courses.
However, I don't believe my feelings and needs
Have yet sank into your head for
You're like a child for your age.
Therefore, today, I'm walking away, to never look back.

I am walking away not because I don't love you
I am walking away not because I won't miss you
I am walking away not because I would be better off without you

But, I am just walking away, because
I cannot acquiesce with the pains and heartaches
anymore.

I am walking away because you do not have
The audacity to be honest to yourself and understand that
Love is a an endless open road, traveled in two directions.

I don't think you have the myriad maturity,
to feel my fragility for your frivolous love.

I am getting off here now
For my train just pulled at the last stop.

I know that I would be walking away with a broken heart.
But, I am fine with that fate than being hurt anymore because
We cannot change people, but ONLY ourselves.

To those who are afraid to take the faith of leap, you can do it, yes, walk away.
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