Tøast 15m
Well these cocaine naps have got me waking up drunk.
Broken knuckles and scars I don't remember.
So many days spent in a daze,
Drinking and smoking haze.
A complex distraction for a complex problem.
It's killing me, I know, but maybe that's better than nothing at all.

How can you ask a self destructive mess to not be paranoid.
All the nights I spend hating myself
Analysis to a grand scale, of every miniscule detail.
Every second of the sunset, every plant that grows I turn to dust.
Why can I only ruin this paradise,
Too late to save someone, too fucked up to let someone love me.

This is pain,
Ruining my chances and knowing what I've done.
Hating myself for the actions I do, and the things I don't say.
Blaming myself, constantly.

But let's do another line, and wash it down with spirits,
Drown them in substances and pretend we're okay until it kills us.
I see the sun
I see the sun......again

When the wind blows
When the wind blows, I smell you

Overcast, my emotional weather
I thought it would always last
I thought it would never pass
Couldn't break free,I was stuck in the past
And all the advice I was given
I crumbled it up like wasted flyer paper
Fell out​ somewhere between my hand, pocket
And garbage cans
Couldn't move these clouds if I tried
Shadows and rain falling only on and around me
Kept my head down to keep the water out my ears...

Just kidding, they were tears

Cuz who am I kidding
If I wasn't overthinking my next step
I was contemplating sui...sin...

Till a light.....
And then

I could see the sun
I could see the sun again...

I looked up and saw you.
A lyrical interpretation of swinging from a dark mood to a lighter one.
Alex B 1h
A savage storm was brooding
Right up inside my head
Winds were sadly slowly forming, yet
A word was never said

And when the weather matter gathered,
Unleashing fatal form
Drowning out my considerable existence
An eternal mighty storm!

Sodden skin and sunken soul,
My tangible testimony
Combat battle with myself
Was dragged out and lonely

Suddenly winds ceased to blow
Alleviated, parched—my soul;
The eye was fleeting, this I knew,
Dread to penetrate the whole

And then I saw the sunrise,
A pleasantly different form
In the context of epic battle
With my cerebral storm
The first poem I ever wrote (16)
I haven’t been this kind of empty before.
My thoughts are speeding through my mind,
Passing through and never comes back.

I can’t escape the feeling of addiction,
I want more and more to get away from it all.
Reality is my worst nightmare.

Everytime I wake up
I wanna go back to sleep,
Begging to never wake up again.

I’m stuck,
I got nowhere to go.

I want to stay.
I want to disappear.

I want the good things,
The things that keep my mind occupied from the bad thoughts.

I’m in the middle of chaos,
Between body and mind.
lilhadi 3h
Me, you, at an aquarium, holding hands & looking at sea turtles
lilhadi 3h
"I want to love you, really I do.
The connection we have is extraordinary, and we both prefer tea over coffee.
But I’ve felt the heartbreak. I’ve been witness to the shattering of friendships, loss of friends, loneliness of the aftermath. And I can’t go through it again.
So call me self-destructive. But I’m not the type to risk it all when I just taped my soul back together."

j. e. b --  ((About Being Afraid to Love))
Umi 3h
The sun was shining,
Pitch black, sending out rays of misery in a blinded realm of self hatred, casting a shadow even darker to trail a clear record.
A sun of darkness, made out of despair, casts it's light before the zenith, a day like any other, tiring, exhausting and frustrating.
The phantoms of the past linger around the streets, seemingly not noticing anything, the lack of light nor the constant agony this brings,
Perhaps it was just my sight, which tricked me into seeing everything as it was and thus the others hadn't noticed but a single, little thing.
I hide my truth behind a curtain of both a smile and a fake cheerful mood, put up with the last strengh my worn out fighting spirit has.
Once upon a love, the mornign glow used to be more than a sunrise,
It's brilliance unmatched, almost roaring as it illuminated the atmosphere while we were watching this scene unfold with awe!
This is how it should be, nothing more.
But when I knew the meaning of love you were already gone,
Dragged away by the chains of fate lead by time and left me as the sun was about to set and never truly come back as usual, darling.
You were my light.

~ Umi
I didn't know that loving you could be so painful.
Every word that came out of your lips was like a poison that I drank religiously.
Your kind words,
your mean words,
they hurt no matter the context;
no matter the way they are spoken:
beautifully like the sound of your laugh and the scent of your hair after shower
or dirty like the things you have done to me under the full moon.
But I will always love the pain.
I’m gonna get a Chinese.
Take away that takes me away
Small pleasures that sooth my heart

              Special Chow mein
           Special fried rice
        Not so special prawn crackers
But still special to me.

                                 Reminding me of when
I was a boy and I’d scoop up joy in a little edible bowl and glow as the taste hit me as hard as you did when you said you couldn’t give what I gave you back.

                                                          ­  Well I’m
gonna get a chinese tonight, so how about
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