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I fought a snake last night.
A boy came after me to do the same.
But I told him I already did it.
He seemed to not really believe that I already gone through this fight.
It was over but he made me do it again.
So I threw the boy to the snake and ran.

Something in me told me I had to do this to really finish it.
Couldn’t help being a bad ***** in my dream.
It was his time to fight so now I had to leave.

Be free.
Run, run, run.
Run to the city.
The brown empty city in the night.
Through the night.

I don’t know why this keeps on happening.
It’s like I’m forced to fight every time before being able to let go.
Can’ t just shake it off cause there’s always something, somebody left to fight with or fight for.
And afterwards being afraid of what will be my sentencing.
It’s unacceptable, you did something horrible.

Something in me told me I had to do this to really finish it.
Couldn’t help being a bad ***** in my dream.
It was his time to fight so now I had to leave

**** it off and then you can run free!
Run, run, run.
Run to the city.
The brown empty city in the night.
Through the night.

Life = death &
Death = life.
When you let go you will know.
You will know when you let go.
23-10-20
Graff1980 Oct 21
Used to punch
metal freezers,
shred my bare knuckles
on a black bag
when I didn’t feel like
wrapping my hands with
***** dishrags.

But I put those fists down,
lost the pit fire,
let those flames expire
cause I was so tired
of how that rage burned.

Simmering passed
a soft-boiled brain,
used to workout
just to dull the pain,
now I workout at night
just to feel a little more alive.

Dreams won’t let me
go to sleep gently,
or rest peacefully
but it is the waking hours
that are more disturbing.

Always been a fighter
even when
I wasn’t even
scrapping with
other slack jawed idiots.

Sometimes it is just
my own mind
that I am battling,
as my demons come
ready to swallow me.
Kenneth Gray Oct 21
Tangled mess. Lost in confusion.
Troubled heart. Lost in delusion.
Twisted in sin.
A disgusting infusion.
Vague hopes.
A broken conclusion.

I ponder, I hope.
Where does it lead?
What is the answer?
What do I need?

A tangled mess. Lost in confusion.

Decietful ideas.
Where do they lead?
Broken lies,
Are not what I need.

Troubled heart lost in delusion.

Tempted to fail, to lose my way.
Temptation is here.
And its here to stay.
Struggling to fight and live
Every step, every day.

Twisted in Sin

There's light in my heart.
I know and I see.
Will I overcome this?
What will become of me?

Vague Hopes.

I must succeed, I must conquer the night.
Fight for my life and fight for what's right!
Pick yourself up and envelop the light.
A miracle to behold. A beautiful sight!
You're not canon fodder, you're a soldier - a knight!
Lets hope - you will stand  up and fight.

My Broken Conclusion.
I've been going through a lot and dealing with a lot of evil and temptation. I sat and thought about it a lot one night and started writing. I wondered what ought to come from all of it. Thats what led to my closing lines. My Broken conclusion regarding it all.
Kristina Oct 19
I'm searching for a place to come home to.
A place that is calm and warm,
a place to feel safe in
after a long day out there.

After a day in the cold world,
filled with empty and silent people,
filled with silence that screams
and and emptiness that's crushing.

I'm searching for a person to come home to.
A person that is protective and loving,
a person to feel safe with
during a long day out there.

Fighting with me against this world,
not letting it steal our inner beauty,
not letting it take away our words,
so we don't become empty and silent.

I thought I could find it with you.
But I was wrong.
Paige Oct 16
I remember how it felt to know you
In the moments I wasn’t myself
And it’s funny to think of myself
And think I escaped
Because right now
Lying in the darkness alone
I can feel that same weight on my chest
Holding me down and pushing me under
I can feel myself struggling to breathe
Just like I used to
And it feels almost like nothing has changed
Because I’m alone
Now just like I was then
And the screaming inside never stopped
The fear and the pain
The realization that I have no equal
Not even in those that relate to me most
And I’m desperately longing
Needing
Begging
And praying
For something to come along
To change my mind
To make me crave less
The late nights on pavements
Tear and rain soaked streets
Searching the sky for answers
When my chest cracks itself open
For you and every other person that passes
Because I can’t stop feeling
And I can’t feel anything
All at once
I feel like I’m going under
And I can’t stop the waves from crashing
Where is my peace
Where is the surface
All I can find are broken pieces of memories
Things that sting and stab every time
I grasp them
Please
I need a shining light
A moment of clarity
A hand to grab onto
I need to remember my own face
And leave behind the desolation that burns inside me
I need to see and be seen
I need so much
A connection unlike any other
A person on the same plane as the stars
Our eyes meeting like passing comets
I need someone to know me
To breathe into me and press a beat into my heart
Because I don’t feel it there anymore
I feel like a cage or worse
Like I AM caged
I can’t get out but I’m crying for the freedom
Falling to my knees and reaching for it
Screaming for it
I keep fighting
Every day I drag myself back up
Force the pain behind me and try again
Come on
I know it hurts
But keep fighting
I know you can’t anymore
But keep going
Don’t give up
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t let go
Not this time
It’s not too late
I know you can’t breathe
But try
Please just TRY
Don’t let yourself go under this time
Stand up
Keep standing
Hold your head up high
Even as the tears stream down your face
And don’t back down
Because we’re the closest we’ve ever been
To finding ourselves again
And if we lose it this time
We may never get it back
Thekingspen Oct 13
Have you ever been at war?
Yes! and not a combat war
In this insane world, I fight to stay sane
I fight a mental war and an emotional wreck
In this cruel world, I fight to stay kind
I fight my way through evil and inhumane
In this world of social and societal comparison
I fight pretence and to remain an original person
I have been at war with depression and mental unbalance
Smiling in your faces and fading away in pieces
I have been at war to uphold my values and principles
In a careless time that sees you as boring and weird
I have won and lost some battles
And, I didn't like the taste of failures and defeat
So, I am going down fighting each day and each war
I have been at war,
one that almost claimed my beautiful soul
Laokos Oct 10
there is a price to
authenticity that
most people
are not prepared
to pay

the cost
(at least in part)
is:
indifference,
isolation,
rejection, failure,
anxiety, madness,
etc.

it's vicious
strangers and
deadly lovers--
all of them
with spinning
flowers for
eyes as they
dig in: the
elbow, the
heel, the
knife

becoming who
you are demands
that you sacrifice
every inch of
what you
thought you
were to the
eternal flames

it means you're
gonna be hard
on yourself--harder
than anybody else
has ever been
on you

it means you're
gonna think
about killing
yourself
sometimes--you
may even come
close--

and,
make no
mistake, it
will be the
death of you
someday,
but
it will be
the best death
you could've
offered yourself

you will look
back upon
your life with
a cutting
smile and
piercing eyes
knowing that
you stayed
fighting

through every
cheap shot,
backstab, and
bad call

every
knockdown,
defeat, and
sabotage

you kept
coming, no
matter what
life threw at
you:
poverty,
shame,
guilt,
loss,
exile

these things
mean nothing
in the face
of true
becoming

and what
is becoming
if not
annihilation
and that
which remains
after its
totality?
Drop me in the middle of your war
I will not fear
I will not cry
My peaceful love will keep me alive
I fight with peace and love.
You know, whenever I think of my heroes,
it’s never the champions that come to mind…
the ones who can hit harder, or always save the day.
No. Honestly, it’s the ones who take all hits I admire most.
The ones who have to battle each day, just to be here,
because anyone can be win a fight.
It’s a lot harder to lose one, and choose to stand back up anyway,
knowing full well you will get knocked down again.

I know now that strength is not measured by how much you’ve won,
the only strength that matters is built up brick by brick
from your losses.
Sometimes just being here takes all the strength in the world. No one gets to decide what your tough looks like.
It just feels like no matter how much ground I gain or far I run, it’s still always there, right at my back, this extra gravity. And I know I’m supposed to be okay with that and accept it, because this...thing... is just a passenger in my life now, and it's not going anywhere. But **** if doesn’t still knock me down.

And every time I find a home without it, it seems to eventually find its back to remind me just how tired I am.

At best it is white noise, always chattering in the background. At worse...well you know it goes; it deafens and it cripples.

I think we all just want to know, "how far do I have to run, how long do I have fight...to be normal again?"

Somehow, knowing that question doesn't have an answer doesn't make it go away.
I know the fight never ends, but that knowledge doesn't necessarily make the hits hurt any less.
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