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Long and arduous had been the climb.
Fifty years or so in the making.
A pinnacle claimed but unseen for what it was.
Was it folly or push that became my past, present and future.

Falling was but a blink in the making.
No anchor to hold me and foundations removed, abandoned, lost.
Successions of ricochets from jagged rock to jagged rock.
Carved to the core by granite hard betrayal and failures.

By chance did my fingers gain purchase to slow the fall.
More of a roll downhill than the plummet that near killed me.
But still trending down into the chasm of who I have become.
The place I am, the present, the bloodied remnant of who I was.

Limbs askew and misshapen-ed, bones shattered and core exposed.
Total vulnerability to even the meekest of creatures with ill intent.
Cowered, afraid and alone in and darkness still falling.
Momentary reprieve as fingers strike stone but too torn to grasp.

Mind operating in fragmented, distorted jigsaws of thought.
No box top picture remaining to focus the picture I am meant to be.
Too many pieces in different shapes to be who I once was.
Uncertain of enough pieces to make myself a semblance of whole.

Still endless the fall and the darkness.
Creature or granite strike constantly feared.
Cowered, alone, afraid and defeated.
The darkness and fall are who I have been made.
The only way I feel
Not one of love
Nor born of ****

A shelter of my soul
A sliver of my pain
Splinter my reign
All hail the fool
The ***** little fool


So crushed

So many pieces

I can't be resolved

Breaker of the union
Despoiler of the sacred vow
You filthy animal
You ***** cow

I'm divided
I'm decided
By ****
But not mine
Your shadow will forever shroud my soul

I put walls up
But down they go
Beat down by the flood
Born of heated hate
A stampede of regret
A new reprobate

So say "hi"

Say hi to your crimes
To to speak through your cries
Nobody hears at night
Because then you must lie
I'm fine
But why
Why did you crush my soul
Beyond the spirit
Beyond my bone
Poolza 5d
It's like you're missing from my life

A dream that faded away

A virus that plagued my mind
Now nothing more than a memory
I lov..
I umm
I love you
YES! I love you and I'm sorry for that...  know i shouldn't
But you are to perfect

Even if we don't talk for months... when I get that text from you I fall harder for you
you lit me like a cigarette
and smoked me until I was gone
crushed me underneath your shoe
but my ashes burned through your lungs
to the heart you kept so cold
and you realized too late
this disease I have become
cannot be cut away
Gravity keeps things
Hopes and dreams being no exception
I feel so heavy
My mind, body, and soul too
Constantly crushed
so if we
stand still
smell the heat

of an enemy's
bullet through our veins
for once

court outcome
of supplanting views
imbibing another's sweat

casuist's bile
scrawled on prison walls
of savaged confines

they salute
their spiel
with the same

toxic hold
as we concoct
world views

venomous elixir
polymorphous maze
shadow of a sphinx

looms clearer
as steps leading
to torn pages

of feted book
uncover dichotomy
of a self split

so that shooting a child
of shunned genes
amounts to nil

for in but a blink
his uniform
arrives home

to ****** the
golden locks
of his only daughter

playing Chopin
Please see subsequent post 'dynamics of genocide'
penned as a bit of free expression,
more a rant than a poem,
but can provide some
background information to this poem.
I very much appreciate your thoughts and feedback
on either or both posts.
Big thanks...
i trusted you to guard my emotions
but somehow you captured my heart and managed to let darkness into my chambers
your attack managed to make my heart vulnerable
susceptible to breakage
and just when I thought your invasion was over
you decided to crush my heart to absolute fragments
an unforgivable plot
yet you were forgiven
and although it took me forever to rebuild after you
i would take you back in a second
and suffer all over again
i dont understand why I keep coming back to you
your fire still burns in my heart
my lungs are gasping for your air
i mourn the loss of you
vulnerably and emotionally
i scream in agony as i think of us
my heart belts hymns of you
you were always so concerned about hurting me
because you knew that one day you would rip my heart apart
and leave me too broken to be fixed by anyone else
will i ever get over you
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