A year as past
I should be delighted
I should feel peaceful
that a new year has begun
and a chance to restart
and to tell yourself that
“This year is my year”
But I feel stuck
like nothing happened at all
like i am still where i was
I know life is more than romance
More than finding the one
Nevertheless i feel alone
I see couples everywhere
Happy, in love and content
i am happy, not in love
and yet i am not fulfilled
Furthermore i wonder what it feels like
having that speciel someone
Falling asleep and waking up
with a loved one next to you
Kisses on the forehead
Arms wrapped around the waist
All the things i have never had
Once it was close
so close that my heart tumbled
I thought for a while that this was it
This was what i had been waiting for
I was wrong oh how i was wrong
So now i’m left with an aching heart
who longs for more
persistently the next half hour you descry
a physical ripe sombre of theraphy
almost parallel to the velleity black box which rests in
the corner of
a cleansed embouchure
while in this moment I reflect (an undoing)
to the puzzling collections of vulnerability with frail
i'm dreaming of another anatomy "detachment voicemails for the 200th time enthralling
parllor doubt of our eventuate catharsis"
headaches rapt speaking softer, perhaps it's a scarlet crushed
by to heal the burns
2017 was a wonderful and joyful year,
All the happy moments and those filled with tears.
All wonderful things must come to end, so do not fear.
'17 is about to leave and '18 will soon be here.
A few tips for those whose intentions were unclear.
Confess to your crush in the awkward atmosphere,
whatever his/her answer may be, you must be persevere.
Love aside, your family is above all,
Once or twice a month, do not forget to call.
'17 will haunt you for your actions that seemed so small,
Commit the same mistakes and you WILL fall.
Cherish every friend, as each to their own story,
Listen and you will appreciate him/her greatly.
As to enemies, keep them closer
with time, they will be the reason you have grown stronger.
I hate the way
your eyes reveal,
The way they sparkle and talk.
I hate the curve,
The laugh of your smile
As it tries not to grin.
I hate them.
I like them.
I hate that I like them.
I hate that i like you,
Being called “annoying”
Is like a glacier, frigid, rigid, inescapable preventing from social contact
A choking, strangling feeling penetrating your veins. A stone crushed by the might of a palm
Isolated, observing, analysing social conversations yet never overcoming the boundary
A tether severed and knotted to the throat. A rush of pain caught in the wind at the hilt of the dagger.
But a hand, a few words can reach into the chasm, rejoice and untie.
Create connections and weave intricate relationships, to bloom into a captivating flower.
That hint of compassion, gradually using the rubble to form a new personality, saving esteem.
These feelings are so loud
I cannot hear anything else.
Determined to drown them out,
I dare you
to do your damnedest
to demolish my eardrums
with decibels meant to devastate.
I want to be crushed
by a falling wall
with suffocating blankets
of sonic booms.
Balled up fists
I feel like I'm on too much risk
I love you
But I want to hate you
Leave my town
Give back my heart before it crashes on the ground
Here it goes again
The liquid of my pain
Down, down, I'm done
Why don't you just let me be happy?!
I let you go already!
Why don't you just let me?!
I'm done with you
I'm so done with you
Let me be happy
an ominous cloud surrounds me
it gets darker the more I search for a light
suffocating, exasperating, deadly
the cloud is dense like a thick foam pad
can't get through it
have to fight my way through it
my breathing starts becoming gasps
gasps for the air that is clean and pure
the cloud might never dissapate
will it be a part of my life forever?
dark thick heavy weight
it might crush me underneath
every dark cloud is similar but different
they are destructive
and they always trap the person inside
individually uniquely killer
generally excessively present
the rain used to be my favorite
the sky was crying with us
until I got swallowed up by it
my bones crushing with each trick
thought I wasn’t going to live
I was ready to say goodbye to this world
but when the car finally stopped I was still alive
I started screaming why
I could smell blood and soil
I thought it was finally by time to say goodbye
police, ambulance, and a helicopter arrive
“mam have you been drinking or are you on any drugs”
glass in my hair
I felt like there was no air
it was getting hard to breathe
my whole body was broken
mostly my heart
they should’ve left me to die
- sorry about the car
Crushed flowers are beautiful,
not useful but certainly nice to look at
My sister affectionately called me a 'delicate little flower' one of the many times you made me break down, crushed from false accusation
until i eventually dried up
pressed myself until the pain no longer hurt.
I wondered why i had become such a fragile thing
shouldn't heartbreak build you up, a learning experience rather than reducing you to a few petals and a stem.
i feel more like a tree
green and great during the warm summer months
unaware of the freezing winter winds that will blow away all my protective leaves. barren. cold.
i hope someday i will become evergreen
beautiful, tall, luscious and full- pine or cedar or spruce
staying fragrant all year round
but for now i remain a daisy
dried, pressed and crushed between these pages, within these words.