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Ryan Aug 2
Amphetamines in the dark.
Sitting here, heart pounding.
All bite and no bark.
My shame compounding.

I’ve been up for days.
Heart beating, chest thumping.
I navigate the haze.
My internal engine pumping.

Amphetamines in the dark.
I haven’t had this energy in years.
All started by a spark.
It will only end in tears.
Nigdaw May 28
tale as old as time
a gram to get inside your mind
find a space to settle down
trip into alternate realm
away from sorrow
away from pain
this is your big release
beauty and the beast
jae Mar 25
one drink
turns to few
experiences
no longer new
walking
to the bar in lieu
of a taxi number
nobody knew

white
on her lipstick blue
hair
in her face oh you
missed your nose so you
must try harder to
pick up your key and
make your debut
ari Mar 2
the putrid smell of cigarette smoke and cheap whiskey breath feels like home.
           His arms felt like home, too.
      I knew him as the boy who’d party all night and make plans with me the next day only to sleep the whole time.
              I knew him as ****** noses from ******* and the young emphysemic cough that would **** a small part of me every time I heard it.
     I knew him as that big, stupid ******* smile.
I knew him as the boy who’d ride his bike to my house but would always be too worn out to ride his bike with me.
          I knew him as far too charming for his own good.
I knew him as perfectly imperfect.
       I know him as cold and unempathetic.
I know him as the boy who refused to get on the phone with me for closure.
     I know him as unstable.
I know him as manipulative.
      I know myself as someone who will never be more important than *******.
I know myself as someone who will never be more important than cigarettes.
     I know myself as just another doll who was tossed to the side by a child who got bored.
     The fetor of a coffin nail and the acidic aroma of Highlands Red still reminds me of him—
                 but only the version of him that I knew.
my experience of falling in love with an addict
Megan Hammer Nov 2019
It’s always the same - as always
We go round and round in your car
The Old Northeast or somewhere in between
Under the overpass - where did we park?
In the grass, up the steps, the yellow room

And where did we resume?
A Wednesday night at a dive bar
They're all doing ******* in the bathroom
Round and round the corner - your car is blue
New place, but it’s still a yellow room

It’s always the same - the blue car
Where a light never goes out
With footprints from high knee boots and sneakers
Where all my counterthoughts become undone
Beer on the counter and a couch you’re gonna take me on

Take me into your new car
It’s not always the same after all
Good things come to those who wait
Tonight is always different with you
At last, I get to know more than the yellow room
For Basil.
Tizzop Nov 2019
take me away from this journey
i am trapped in the land of placelessness

blind / hypnotized
route 36 / bolivia
deaf / treated with ultrasound
simultaneously

scarcely knowing
what all that means

i am feeling the rising of blood
a wave of heat like sandstorms

inevitability: willful / knowing / aware

i am putting myself at risk of dying
long ago i read about the risks and consequences
of my ******* abuse
pervaded them intellectually while

my heart remains deafly because
of *******
bitter
sear
aflutter and in panic

there is just:

one life
one heart
one body one man

man what are you doing?!?!
i am hollering into my inner
embracing the envelope
obsessed over bitterness
numb love
in the dungeon of plotted heavens
lofty as never before
is where i am running away from:
every day

in the 1920s there was a man
who they called "koks-emil"
he sold ******* in the nightstreets of berlin

the national archive has been keeping
a picture of him doing business with
two girls out of gangland we
can't see the face of the one standing left only  
her back

however her companion typifies precisely
what the drug creates in our souls:
a form that can not be imitated
like the effect of the drug

a form of longing and greed in the
girl's face

longing and greed
balancing each other
not one of
these states predominates

while beholding the girl i am becoming
horridly conscious
about myself
horridly about

my relationship with *******
my affair with *******
my love to ******* this
sounds sick?
indeed it is

we call it
suffering from an addiction

we call it
suffering from a dependency

become clean.
i wish you willpower
wish you strong luck
wish you peace at last

the rate of relapsing
******* users is vast
during the night

when the wind is
breezing mildly

when the stones of the cities
are breathing out the heat of the day

while you are
sneaking over the streets

while every street corner resembles
the very one where
koks-emil used to sell his product

while you are sensing the smell
of bitterness

while you are being preoccupied with
her face: her longing her greed

while you are experiencing
yourself:

more deeply
more soberly
and more knowingly
as before

while you
are reaching out your hands searching
with kidfingers for koks-emil

the guy with the warped corner of the mouth
the reliable / greedy one

the one who is always ready

a salesman has to be available for
every second of your longing
every second of your greed

koks-emil: your world is made of black and white
your hat is grey its bonnet is vanishing as your
shivering hands

hands that spread capsules
hands that grap at bills
hands that you use to brush away your sweat

**** between the lipps
shabby coat

koks-emil your spirit
blows through inner cities like gas fumes
a grin on your face coming from
lurid lights

you became immortal
you underwent rapid decades
you were an addict
you created addicts
you served addicts

the ****** expression of the girl
your child-like customer
remains for

all for everybody with a
*******-addiction

for all and for everybody
who depends on *******

for all and everybody
who is clean from *******

for all and everybody:
longing and greed

rest in peace girl
Based on true events.

Today is a good day.
Big Virge Oct 2019
If You LIKE Coc' ...
  
REMEMBER This Quote ... !!!
  
You May One Day ...  
Just ... End Up Broke ... !!!
  
******* Gives Lows ...  
As Well As ... " Highs " ...
And Has ... DESTROYED ...  
Some Peoples' ... Lives ... !!!!!
  
That's ...
NOT A Joke ... !!!
  
So ... Trust Me Folks ...
If You LIKE ... Coc' ... ???
  
I'm ... NOT The Bloke ... !!!!!
To ... " Offer It To " ... !!!!!

I'm ... WARNING YOU ... !!!
Don't Make Me HAVE TO ... !!!
  
Give You ... " Clues " ...
  
Don't Make Me HAVE TO ...  
BREAK ..... The News .....  
  
Like ... " Coc' Misuse " ...  
To ... Make You Cry ...
Into ... TISSUES ... !!!!!!!!
  
" Coc' Heads' " ....
  
As I've ... Said Before ...  

Talk NONSENSE ... !!!
So I ... Ignore ....  
  
The Words They Speak ...
  
So ...  
What's The Score ... ?!?
  
Could This Be ... " Why " ...  
The World's At War ... ?!?
  
Has George Done Coc' ... ???
Ask ... Michael Moore ...  
  
I'm ... NOT Sure ... ???
But DO ... ABHOR ...  
  
Those Who LIKE ...
Their ******* PURE ... !!!
  
Because Reality's Lost ...................................................
To Them ... Fa' SURE ... !!!!! ...
  
They Live In ...
... " Dreamworlds " ...

And ........... Ignore .....
  
Those Who SUFFER ...
And Are .... " POOR " ....
  
Until Their ... HIGH ...
Ain't There No More ... !!!
  
They Probably Snort Coc' ......  
Yeah ... Off The Floor ...... !!!?!!!
  
They Use Their Nose ...  
Like ... DYSON Hoovers ...  
  
That's The Place ...
The ******* Goes ... !!!
  
PEOPLE ....
That's A ... BAD Manoeuvre ... !!!!!
  
These Are People ...
I ........................ AVOID .......  !!!
  
Because They Get ....
SO ... " PARANOID " ... !!!
  
of Men Like ... ME ...  

BELIEVE ..... " BIG V " .....  
Because I Talk ... REALITY ... !!!!!
  
Is That ... " You " ... ?!?
Or ... Are You Cool ... ???    
  
With The Way ...  
I Get .... INTO ....  
  
Things Like ... THIS ...  
Through Poetry Scripts ...
  
While Coc' Heads' Go ...  
On ... " ******* Trips " ... !!!
  
Why Do People ...
Go To ... THIS ... ???
  
Just To Get ....
AWAY From ................ Things ... ?!?
  
Things That They ...
Should NOT ..... Dismiss ..... !!!!!
  
I've ... Sampled Yes ... !!!
But Now ... RESIST ... !!!!!!
  
And Use My Nose ...
To SNIFF ... Good Prose ... !!!
  
NOT To ... " Sniff " ...
Old Charly's .... Coc' .... !!!  
  
And Mix With Folks ...
Who Are ... A JOKE ... !!! ...
  
I Don't NEED THAT ...

To ... Get A High ... !!!  
When HIGHS Can Come ...  
From ... NATURAL Sights ...  
  
... " Countryside " ...
Or ... NATURAL Thighs ...  
On A Girl Who ... Treats My Eyes ...  
  
To ... Visions of ......  
A ... LOVE FILLED Night ... !!!
  
WITHOUT ******* ... !!!
  
I DON'T ... Supply ... !!!!!!
  
Sorry Girls ... !!!
Are You ... SURPRISED ... !!?!!
  
Please ...
DON'T ASSUME ... !!!

I'm NOT ... THAT GUY ... !!!!!!!
  
Black Men Like Me ...
Are ..... " RARITIES " ..... !!!!!
  
That's Advice ...
I'll Give ... FOR FREE ... !!!
  
Unlike Guys ...  
Who ... Like To Advise ...  
  
Girls To Come ...  
For ... "Coc' Filled Nights" ... !!!
  
Just To Get ...
BETWEEN Their Thighs ...  !!!
  
Ladies ...
  
Here's Some ...
More ... " Advice " ...
  
A LOT of Them ...  
OH YES ... Are White ... !!!!!
  
Are You ... " SURPRISED " ... ?!?
  
Come On Now Girls ...  
...... PLEASE .......  
DON'T You ... LIE ... !!!!!!
  
Some of ... YOU ...  
Know of ... These Guys ... !!!
  
Words I Write ...
May Make Some ........................................................... "hide" .....  
  
Could That Be ...
Because I'm ... RIGHT ... ?!?
  
Words Like THESE ...  
May HURT My Life ... ?!?  
  
Because ... ******* ...
Is Now ...... SO RIFE ...... !!!!!
  
Coc' Deals Make ...
Some Men USE KNIFE ... !!!
  
Come On People ...
Is This ... RIGHT ... ?!?
  
If ... " Your Child " ...
Ends Up ... INSIDE ...
  
... A COFFIN ... !!!

Over ... Debts That RISE ...  
Because ... ******* " ...  
Became ... Their Life ... !!!  
  
That's NO WAY ...  
For Kids To DIE ... !!!!!
  
But Happens Now ...
  
OH YES ... That's Right ... !!!
And Has Gone On ...
BEFORE ... My Time ...  
  
Trust Me Folks ...
That Is .... NO LIE .... !!!!!
  
I Sometimes Recite ...
These Words I Write ...
Because of Things ...

" Within My Sight " ...
  
Things Like THIS ...
I DON'T Dismiss ...  
  
Because ...
Life Is Something ...
  
I Would .... MISS .... !!!!!
  
If It Ended ....
Because of ... " Coc' " ...
  
And That's NO JOKE ... !!!!!
  
So ...  
Hear This ... CLEAR ... !!!
  
I'm NOT A Bloke ...
Who'll ... Hear You Out ...
  
" If You ... Like Coc' "
I believe the relevant quote is,

" It's One HELL of A Drug ! "
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