If my dad had lived, he would be the big 7-0.
On this day, Dad was born seventy years ago.
Seven decades is how long he would've been alive.
But leukemia killed him, Dad did not survive.
He lost his life in 2013 on the 13th of July.
Dad would be the big 7-0 if he hadn't died.
I'm sitting in my usual corner
Of the coffee shop in town
The morning's come
The day has begun
So where's the singing birds?
It's a very quiet morning
Only three cars passed by
A black Nissan Pick Up truck
A siver Honda car
And a truck heading to the south
To give us our supplies
That the farmers and poor make
Just for us
But get no credit or coin
I'm looking around and I see
Five people in the room
Six if you count the homeless man
Staring through the window
A black Labrador next to him
He's staring at me
The man in the corner
Has several wrinkles
Maybe 50? 60? 70?
He's got very milky coffee
Next to the newspaper he has
He's looking at the crossword
And raging with silent curses
That he thinks no one can hear
But if you look in his eyes
You see the frustration in them
A female teenager
She's staring at me
What is she jealous of now?
I really don't know what.
She's just glancing
Staring and glancing
As she sips her vanilla mocha
With her long hot pink nails
And sighs with her ruby red lips
You see jealousy in her green eyes
So sharp and cat like
You can almost smell it
There's a woman in her thirties
She is still smoking and puffing
And putting her ashes in the tray
' another interaction with cancer '
I think as she stares into space
If you look into her chocolate eyes
The same colour as her tea
She's thinking very deeply
As I am right now
There's a man at the coffee bar
He's cleaning up the desk
Waiting for the next customer
Waiting for the new order
Then he will make their drink
Make a working man smile
And a tired mother laugh
But it's not helping the man
The homeless one outside
Yet when you look into his eyes
His bright hazel will show
Happiness and joy
There's a guy in the corner
Listening to some music
With his black coffee on
I sit with him
Even though he's misjudged
And he flashes me a smile
As his black and purple hair
Is tossed around by his hand
" you've been writing a lot, love "
He smiles as he stops his songs
" I know. " I reply.
I see him everyday
He's going through something
Sad and tough
And when you look at his eyes
A deep greyish blue
He's had enough of it
" are you sad? " I whisper
Looking at him
He turns away with tears
They're welling up in his eyes
" it's ok, " I smile
And pat his shaking shoulder
" you're never alone.
I'm your friend "
He looks at me in the eyes
My observant and gentle eyes
They show comfort when I see him
Smiling at long last
I soon have to go.
Places to be
Places to go
" see you tomorrow "
He smiles at me
" see you soon! "
I smile back at him
I make sure to get a take away
A plain coffee with a packet
Of sweet smelling sugar
I give it to the homeless man
You should've seen the
Joy and happiness in his eyes!
The earth is full of wonder,
divided by all the seas.
The bell rings a toll around the world for better or worst,
not knowing what the future may hold.
A blessing or curse.
You're looking through the eyes of a Green eyed soldier.
A place to call his own, but the world is too big for one as time pass, you know your not alone.
People across the nation, some filled with greed, don't know if were coming or going but I know we'll succeed.
We need to make amends with all the crimes we've done,
looking back on all the battles we've conquered but the war is not won.
The eyes of a Green eyed soldier,
a seeker to the world yet to come.
Feeling the air on his face,
Searching for the answers,
heart beating like a drum.
Blood is thicker, I say that is true
but what does that have to do with anything?
Well, let me tell you.
The world is always changing,
shifting and rearranging
but life goes on.
This Green eyed soldier.
I've seen a lot of things in my life,
the ties of family and friends
that I've formed in my heart.
Cancer got you in the end.
There was a sort of reconcilation
as you neared that edge:
past messages from a go- between:
you wanting me to sponsor you
to the church of your late father,
a forgetting of betrayals
and letting go towards the big slide
to death and beyond. They said
you died peacefully; went
without regrets or bitterness;
a leavetaking into the unknown;
your damaged ship set adrift
on a calm sea without sails or crew;
just that gentle breeze of faith
and sleeping you.
Time passes by
Still I try
Hold time still
Here without you
It's so unreal.
Dark, sad and empty....
I want, I hope, I wish, I dream
I need you back with me.
Stop, I'm lost.
Is there somewhere to go?
Are you there?
YOUR life, WAS life, NO life,
What's the point?
Without you its hard to care.
Empty times four,
This isn't how it's supposed to be!
Fuck everybody, goin' crazy.
Lets start over.
Unexpected. Can I get a warning?
Are you down or up?
Or is it up or down?
Me and sis equals two, plus....
My world has
Crashed to the ground.
You've gone up,
Are you watching me shoot down?
It's a downfall
And I fell down fast
But I'm still falling,
How long will this last?
Don't say FOREVER,
Obviously that's not true
It's not a lie,
Cause FOREVER I'll miss you.
Pain makes you hurt
So hurt equals pain.
Memories are made to remember,
Remembering drives me insane.
What good is a question you can't answer?
And who's to blame?
Was it me?
She thinks it was her....
Maybe it was him.
I guess its irrelevant
And answers are cheap.
Your still gone
Absent filled with a blank
I'm still here
Civil war began with whispering souls seeking setisfaction.
The floor is paved with thornes,
in streets filled with thugs
taking drugs seeking setisfaction in the sky world.
their dreams are getting high.
Like space race, we target from range.
I remember my first dream,
You entrusted it to me,
Colors of all shapes and sizes,
Of hugging bears and buzzing bees.
When i was awake,
You were always ready,
While i was asleep,
Your arms held steady.
I felt the fire in your breath,
And the heat of your heart,
The clouds in your mind,
And the thunder tear you apart.
Heavenly castle, too bright not to cry,
Whoever you are my lord in the sky,
Fly him as far and as high
To a place where only sleeping dogs lie.
DEATH felt a tug upon his line.
He gave the reel some play.
Down in the depths the struggle commenced
This was some soul’s dying day.
Down in the depths of deep despair
His victim fought the hook.
DEATH had used pleasure as his lure
oft that was all it took.
DEATH sat back in his fishing chair
aboard his Yacht “Mort Du”.
He waited for acceptance;
for the struggle to be through.
DEATH smiled a hideous fleshless smile.
What did one mortal say?
“If your work is your hobby,
It’s like you never worked a day.”
The Sun rode low in the western sky.
A certain chill invades the air.
DEATH felt the strain in his sinewy arms.
And He shifted in his chair.
It’s Time, DEATH thought, to end this sport.
“You will not get away.
I’m glad you made it interesting
Now perhaps it’s time to pray”
Just then DEATH felt the line go slack:
Cut through upon a submerged rock.
His prey, still burdened by his hook,
still had time upon the clock.
DEATH surveyed the darkening sea.
as twilight settled on the brine.
DEATH took it philosophically;
We’ll meet again another time.
Lumpy, bumpy, feeling rather jumpy.
Nodule? Cyst? What have I missed?
Kindness pouring from soothing eyes - ladies in purple who have seen it all, beckoning sirens though to the hall.
Consultant - God, Guru, Man, Father, Lover, Philanderer, Tooth Fairy, Assassin
He checks like a 15 year old boy, passionless, conscientious, circling
Is this ok?
Lump - Yes. Bump - Yes. Am I going to jump? - Yes
Off to see the coolest man in the hospital - the Ultrasound guy
But first back to sit in cornrows with the ladies who coyly all dressed like me.
Russian roulette - someone will be upset.
Mamm-o-gram - scans your boobs like ham.
Kindness of the operator who's careers advisor could never have predicted this.
And then up and off to be seen by James Dean
James Dean with a wand and gel and a screen
And a squint then a glint - it might just be ok....?
90% its benign - oh mine the benign, fine, tine-y lump
But we had better double check.... with this massive needle
Please Mrs D please don't wheedle
Eyes shut tight anaesthetic mirroring a mastectomy....is it still there?
Then back to see my crew
Of ladies old and not so, a sea of tight smiles and frightened eyes
90% it's benign
90% it's benign
90% it's benign