It was in the shower i tried to picture you
With your shirt off your lips turned blue.
"I dont want you to see me cry" i said
And not from the pain between my legs, as I bled.
I try to picture romantic evenings as beautiful,
Ones that make my mind content and full,
But in the end these images rott
They stink of regret and the same shame that I fought.
There are dark secrets in my mind,
Some even darker, some hard to find.
But your unconditional love it made me blind,
I try to picture a night with you.
I know you picture this night with me too.
A night where these secrets dont stop me,
From your loving touches, I wont flea.
At least in these dreams I can do this
But in the real world its just a punch with a strong cold fist.
This cant heal as fast as a scraped knee,
But it does feel like an injury.
Please dont give up so quickly,
Because in the end its still me.
All bruised up and blue from my past,
Im trying so hard to make this last,
I know im selfish.
Know that if your patient i will get my wish,
And these pictured nights in the shower wont be so sad,
Theres a day in the future where your touch wont feel so bad.
This might not be for anyone whose sensitive to past ****** abuse.