*her words are where her heart is,
her eyes focused on ahead,
for the delicate petal has lost its stem,
running to find,
running to search,
however nothing seems to be there,
and the petal withers away.
*

bleh

They tell me
I
Should
Date

Tried it

All I find
Are
Wrong
Fits

I listened
In
The
Past
To
Others

And
Paid
For
It

16
Years
With
The
Wrong
Man

I refuse to settle

I’ve found
Him
Twice

In
Four
Years

The
First
Time
I
Lost
Him
To
War

The
­Second
Time
I
Left
Him
Safe
But
Unhappy

In
The
Arms
Of
Another

­Maybe the third
Time
Will
Be
A
Charm

I look
For
Him

Everywhere

I hope
He
Is
Out
There

Somewhere

Looking
For
Me
Too

I somehow still find myself hungry for news of you. Every little fact you give me is like a scrap of meat to a lioness.
You tease me. I add it to my collection, I labeled it: "Things I hope will bring me closer to you even though I know you're farther from me than the sun." I still ache. I still wait. Not as much but still.

One of us will leave. And all I know for certain is that a part of my heart will be gone for quite some time and I will be left feeling incomplete again. Sometimes I wonder if a collision will knock me into my senses. All I know is food doesn't taste the same. Water can only do so much. Sleep can only take me so far. I am left between both worlds: knowing and uncertain.


Golly, I'm a sucker for pain.

So adorable your longing,
I'm lost in this snow,
Knowing yours and your name,
Where is this love I cannot find?
A woe of us won,
Something yet to be known,
You away gone and away gone.
I know we are strong,
Us lost in this love on.
What of this paradox upon?
Forever are we,
The possibilities,
Of us lost in time longing on.

I know we just met, but tell me you're not a one to get away...
its bitter Feb 7

Check in impatiently
hauling light luggage -
downturned eyes,
bundled fifties,
skull packed with sickly
sugarplum notions

Stiff key-card door and
three hanger closet -
leave your mittens, jacket,
and conscience dangling

Towels
cotton-knit sandpaper
no softer than well-trafficked
threadbare tawny-port carpet and
your hands and feet pretend
not to feel it

nervously,
a bit numbly,
you notice her standing
with glacial stillness
moments away from
the foot of the bed

Two crooked lampshades and
dim headboard lights
close their eyes when
the mattress springs
first compress,
the air tingling
with dustbunny snowflakes

This room is too dark now,
something like snowblind,
but you don't really want to see
do you?

Frostbite when she touches you
and somehow this bed
is more welcoming
than your own

you'll remember her
february fingertips
and hailstone hair,
a sensation of northerly winds
strange how heavy the comforter feels
sprawled across your skin

you envision an ice slab,
see it suffocate
a slow-flowing river,
and your breath quickens
if only because your lungs
have been crushed

then, just before hypothermia,
she leaves,
lights off,
wallet lighter,
you stay whiteknuckled, lightheaded,
half-consumed by a snowdrift,
beneath the duvet -
dazed

your tongue sits confused,
having asked for peppermints
and been given ice cubes instead

and when you finally rise,
and thaw your limbs
and try not the slip
on the black ice
she always leaves
by the door,

Try to forget
you paid
hourly rates
and shed your clothes
that you might find warmpth
in a blizzard

E A Spain Feb 3

I believe that some of the best art
Comes from a dark place
Not sure what I look like in your eyes,
But clouds inhabit my space
It’s been some time since I felt the heat
And the walls closing in are cold and bleak

Every time that I arise and look up to the morn,
All I find is leery signs and others of forlorn
I was ravished by the wind
And beaten by the rain
I had given it my all and still had nothing to gain

I found peace and I’ve lost it before
He showed me the truth and I’ve only craved more
I found peace once by the pond
With the bees circling in the valley
But even that dissolved once we strolled into saturated alley

Well where did I go?
Where did he lead me?
If I had the chance to tell you...
You wouldn’t believe me

I was ravished by the wind
And washed down with the rain
I know how hard work is to bring success
But all that love results in, is pain
I know that every time is different
But you’re always left feeling the same
With no one else but you and yourself to blame
Alone in the well is where I was left to wither and wane

I hope they’ll be coming for me finally
As I can now feel the pressure
But the light in me is reminding...
That it is the only thing that holds me together

Terry Collett Jan 30

Looking for meaning
and finding none,
escape in bottle

or narcotics or sexual excess,
leading to a life buggered up
and in a mess,

and swept away
like so much waste or dross.
We are a meaning seeking species,

searching high or low,
far and wide, for a meaning
to it all, a ground of being,

some none contingent thing
beyond the unfolding sphere
of the here and now;

and not finding what
is driving one to seek,
the meaning to the suffering

or death or the end as a goal
not the end itself,
escaping the dumb show

or so seeming, looking
for the sense of all,
to seek, but wait

by dreaming.

lins Dec 2017

lost

where am I?
I’m here

lost

I can’t see myself
there’s no more reflection

where am I going?
I’m still right here

lost

lost

only I can find me
I don’t want to be lost anymore

I am here

ShowYouLove Nov 2017

Finding Peace

My heart is restless Lord I am searching
For joy when I should be looking for
Peace. I should be asking more of you and saying less of me. I know you have me here right now and it’s where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know how to try and I feel like I’m doing this only as a last resort. I want joy, but it’s peace that I need. I find peace when I am here in adoration and the grace that I receive. It’s hard to let go of trying to find joy, because I love joy and you have given me a joyful heart. Remind me not to love joy more than I ought to love you. Let Your Will be done Lord in and through me. Allow me to speak love and life into all I encounter and may the work be fulfilling. Perhaps I already have the answer in front of me even now. I am at peace when I am with you. If I am with you, I will know peace and there is so much good I can do as a priest. Poetry and prayers, mentoring, connecting with all people especially our young people, being a councilor and confidant and all these things give me joy. Maybe being a priest isn’t where I want to be, but maybe being a priest is where I need to be for me, for you, and for others. Please Lord, help me to discern ever more this big decision and I pray that wherever I go and whatever I do, I may find or be led to a place of peace. Help me find joy in all the things I have peace with and may i never lose the joy and the childlike faith and love that you have given me. Amen.

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