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A photo
Just a photo
From long ago
It feels brand new

The regrets are tormenting with regression and memory loss. It hurts like it’s brand new especially with the flashbacks and PTSD.
I found a photo of my childhood girlfriend/best friend/family I thought they were all gone. It looks like it is from 2006.
Cole May 18
Holding me
But I soon realize
It's just in my head
He is not to be seen.
As I grow up and open my eyes
What if I was the savior I needed.
The villain just a cookie cut.
The God they speak of never came down.
I have been left here on my own.
Struggling with myself.
The eternal hell I live.
boy or girl
right or wrong.
God wasn't there.
I get older.
I realize
I'm alone again, of course.
We are one person.
Both of us.

People watch me always
Will I jump? Will I soar?
"SHE is a kid."
"SHE doesn't know."
"What's your name?"
Emily. Cole!
Nobody May 6
I often talk to myself,
Asking, screaming y I am the way I am?
Questioning every prayer ever made and Thoughts ever occurred,
And then there comes a point,
Where the decision of ending it all seems the best,
But never found the courage to do so,
I hate myself for making me believe that I am worst thing other person can ever experience,
But I love myself for being able to survive through all of it alone,
I hate myself for all those bad decisions,
But I love myself for holding on to me when no one else did,
I hate myself for being reckless,
But I also love that part of me,
Because I know if I had never hated myself
I would have never known how much I love myself
Poetic T Mar 27
You were the cement boots around
my ankles and I would sink beneath
your gaze screaming as I sank to the

I saw the others the ones who failed
your questioning, your mind games
of unconscious action and reaction.

But with me, I screamed in laughter,
as I knew that you'd always let me
drown enough to be conscious of
                       your ever-changing needs.

We were the lime and the sand,
our words the water that would be
mixed together. We would be concrete
           metaphors of each other's needs..

And I found it slightly ***** when you
tried to metaphorically drown me in
                                       your mind.
I always learnt some depth to you the
                         longer you let me drown.
Careful dance
Under the rain
Only for once
Hiding the pain
Shoes on the damp
Innocent road
Glowing street lamps
It's sleeting and cold
Dust settled down
They've survived
Lucky to 've found
Each other's lives
Starting anew
Hoping for more –
They are the few
Who made it through war
Even if memories of people dying haunt them forever, at least they have each other to fight off nightmares... and this relative approximation of peace and happiness, so rare and such a fragile treasure
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
You won't find freedom
Desire blinds eyes and heart
Never finding way
What do you think?
don't worry about fate darling,
even if she got it bad for you
don't worry about things breaking,
even if I'm not there to fix it for you
for even fate follows her foreseen immutable road,
while you push on looking for some inviolate abode.
This is goodbye, my friend. I bid you farewell. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Arcassin B Nov 2020
By Arcassin B

Lord please don't let me fall into this sadness,

please don't let these thoughts end up in madness,
I'm turning all my lamps off,
dimming my hatred,
easing my mind to heal my soul today,
I'm not okay today , get out my face today,
**** love in every  different way, I part my soul today,
putting myself on a lonely road , trying to find,
my way back home,
I felt I made a big mistake,
a mere take away from what I normally cherish,
wish these memories would perish,
but I digress ,  I'm looking for my soul again in which I find
roads of the end,
I meditate to come peace alone today.

InkHarted Nov 2020
On every alluring  mountain peek
where the soil has buried it deep
there is a heart somewhere up there
hiding from everyone's reach
the rubble the rock the rugged roads
the cliffs the falls the thorns
the height the struggle the effort
differs from one to another
from bumps to dunes to spires
the struggle doth differ much
but if the climbers mind sees no other peek
then for sure your heart will be found.
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