All the good sports
         go out for a run
                       into the ice storm.

They grimace and squint
           in the headlights of cars
                       on Riverside Drive.

And they run as if for their lives
            in this freezing rain
                        that sheathes and has broken

the leafless branches
            along snow-plowed bike paths;
                          ice-pellets ping off
        
their pricy goggles, their fluorescent shells,
              as they struggle north
                           to the pole where

they always turn back
              for the Christmas lights strung
                       over the porches
              
welcoming home
               those who might have been
                        men.

I heard you're talking to my name twin.

I saw it in your eyes

You think it's a win

I wish it was all lies

Hurt will cover me like a second skin

Maybe I won"t try

To make my name twin

Turn into me

Needed a friend
I wanted to be alone t(w)oo

Razor tucked in the fixture
base

That and the dull-fluorescent-light
stare me
Dead
in the face

Was it put there
just in case?
How did they know to find me here
in this place?

I guess
it's just another convenience
in another
mini-life-space

Little shampoo for your hair
Little soap for your hands
Little lotion for your skin
Little blade for your sins

and a sink in which to
Erase

All just such
a
convenient
little
Waste

You
You *******
You are everything
I still think about that summer
We use to get high on Adderall and play Life is Strange
Go to flea malls and never buy a thing
Watch ****** movies, walk around the lake
You were my best friend
No one could take your place
I remember cuddling in the mornings
Not getting out of bed till the afternoon
The light dripping through the windows
Bouncing around the room
You are so beautiful
We were so young
I’ll never forget those moments
Though, those days are long gone

What infinte pleasure I live in.
Finding joy and delight in my ever twist and turn.
The impurity of the world delights me.
Death and torture have begun to tease me.
Like ******* to a growing child.

What sweet ecstasy the macabre expounds to me.
It seems all I want in the world are tools to make my life harder.
It's to easy to come by happiness in this state.
I was made for this world.
Sent by god to enjoy the evilest of her spoils.

I am a gift to all that is disgusting on earth.
Like a tree I clean the air of agony.
This is done by stuffing my face with it.
Ooh how beautiful blood trully is.
But your to busy feeling joy to admire this.

I pitty the stupidity of the emotionally and mentally sane.
I wonder what lies they were told that make them feel whole.
Do they not see the fire beneath their feet.
Do they not feel the heat burn through their souls.
Or am I blessed with a sadness that helps me feel true emotions.

I am a parasite that spreads disease.
However I spread it only to those in need of me.
I engrave my skin with all my sins.
Then whisper sweet nothings to a dead tree.
Often I spread ink filled with my dreams all over screens.
Oh what a creep I seem to be.

You dream of love.
I dream of lust.
Yet I am called a foul.
In truth only one of these lies from the world we live in can come true.
But you carry on pining for the wrong one.

You still have dreams.
But somehow hate the idea of a neverending sleep.
What a fool you are to wish you can be better.
When you can always wish not to be.
How can you fear the wrath of a deity that won't even let you be.

Do you really live when you fear death.
Or do you breathe bubbles of oxygen in your watery web of lies.
Continuing to tell yourself untruths in order to feel alive.
It's sad how trully depressed you are don't you think.
You won't feel this truth for it's a mirror you refuse to see your ****** through.

I wonder how vulnerable you feel knowing I know to much about you.
You'll probably look me in the eyes and hold back tears.
Even if you do I know and enjoy the thought that I have violated you.
You are putty in my hands.
All because I know you beg for a better person to notice you.

But they won't.
Infact they never do.
You are nothing and everyday you try to forget.
But your inferiority is my truth so I own it.
You are are ugly beyond compare.
So ugly that you cry unprovoked for hours and hours wishing your life would end.

Wednesday, 9:12 p.m.

I hope
that I'm pretty
I really
feel ******
and I wish
that you were here
with me.

My fragile bones
feel likes stones
aching
and bending
and crying beneath my skin.

I'm lonely
and cold
and I just think
I could make you
so
happy.