my mother is like the queen she is the queen of everything but in the sense that all that matters is reputation and i am merely a means to an end.
i am the pawn on the chessboard and she likes to play with her pawns carved out hollow, brittle shells on the edge of breaking. she likes the power of holding a fragile heart in her hands to nurture and then destroy as she sees fit for her own entertainment.
is it still my fault i turned out the way i am?
the ground shook when the crown was placed upon her head, for surely even earth began counting down the time until its destruction.
Flickering in my hands It can destroy the lives of many If I drop it on the dry wood floor under me Or if I blow it out It doesn't make a difference to me It doesn't affect my life But it's not who I am ~21/5/21
Days go by Rainy days Depressing days Grey skies I live in a hotel and I'm bored I'm very lonely I am a lonely girl I paint, I make music I try to keep myself busy so I don't end up in depression Life is hard Loneliness can be soothing as it can be bitter I feel like my life is defined by waiting for time to pass We feel alone but we are not God is there to strengthen us That's why we need to pray Pray because Jesus hears us and is there He protects us from evil There is no such thing as evil It's just demons that want to destroy us But we must fight them thanks to God God is in my heart and it's thanks to him that I'm alive today Pray my child and all your demons will disappear
Stand clear I’m a bomb and I’m set to explode. I swear It’s best that I do this alone.
Head for the hills love, Go lock your doors. It’s how I’m programmed, I can’t do more. Leave me be and let me explode.
You can’t stay here, love I can’t disengage. My manual is missing pages… Tonight, I’m shooting straight for the moon. Oh, I won’t be back soon. Tonight, I’m going to detonate. Oh, I don’t wanna be late. Don’t wait. Don’t wait for me.
So much time to win. So much time to lose. So much time to think. So much time to choose. So much time to love. So much time to hate. So much time to give. So much time to take. So much time to be afraid. So much time to be brave. So much time between the cradle and the grave. So much time to create. So much time to destroy. So much time to unapologetically Be who you want to be. Whether you're a girl or boy.