bile splatters the wall dreadful peace fills my veins at once it’s all going to be okay the worst of this is tooth decay i can’t rely on others to know better
how can something so disgusting feel this pure why does this burn in my throat bring me closer to perfection tears feel valid only when they’re forced it all feels so wrong but i can’t let go of this control peace can’t stay here anymore
but don’t leave me like everyone else has i’ve given up on everything i can’t face the world without you tears shed just for you to stay please lie in this filth next to me don’t flee like the rest there’s no other way i can cope today
the mirror leaves me unrecognizable the reflection is a lie you can’t let this happen here to destroy me the progress we’ve made i can’t become an embarrassment once again i brought you here to take on some of this grief
lonely times in the bathroom the tile still feels so cold warmth you gave feels like daggers in my stomach like bugs trying to escape i didn’t eat the food it’s eating away at me
I AM SORRY BUT I'VE BEEN FEELING BAD AND NO I'VE NOT RELAPSED THAT WAS MY MINDSET YEARS AGO, I'M JUST FEELING BAD ABOUT MY WEIGHT GAIN FROM MY ANTIPSYCHOTICS
my mother is like the queen she is the queen of everything but in the sense that all that matters is reputation and i am merely a means to an end.
i am the pawn on the chessboard and she likes to play with her pawns carved out hollow, brittle shells on the edge of breaking. she likes the power of holding a fragile heart in her hands to nurture and then destroy as she sees fit for her own entertainment.
is it still my fault i turned out the way i am?
the ground shook when the crown was placed upon her head, for surely even earth began counting down the time until its destruction.
Flickering in my hands It can destroy the lives of many If I drop it on the dry wood floor under me Or if I blow it out It doesn't make a difference to me It doesn't affect my life But it's not who I am ~21/5/21
Days go by Rainy days Depressing days Grey skies I live in a hotel and I'm bored I'm very lonely I am a lonely girl I paint, I make music I try to keep myself busy so I don't end up in depression Life is hard Loneliness can be soothing as it can be bitter I feel like my life is defined by waiting for time to pass We feel alone but we are not God is there to strengthen us That's why we need to pray Pray because Jesus hears us and is there He protects us from evil There is no such thing as evil It's just demons that want to destroy us But we must fight them thanks to God God is in my heart and it's thanks to him that I'm alive today Pray my child and all your demons will disappear
Stand clear I’m a bomb and I’m set to explode. I swear It’s best that I do this alone.
Head for the hills love, Go lock your doors. It’s how I’m programmed, I can’t do more. Leave me be and let me explode.
You can’t stay here, love I can’t disengage. My manual is missing pages… Tonight, I’m shooting straight for the moon. Oh, I won’t be back soon. Tonight, I’m going to detonate. Oh, I don’t wanna be late. Don’t wait. Don’t wait for me.