The worst part
About being sick Is you get all The free ice cream You can ask for And the worst part About that is Realizing there's Nothing more They can do for you
I cannot express how wonderful it feels
For the first time in so long I sit down to write a poem In which your name does not belong Finally Somebody else Drifts in and out of my thoughts each day I didn't know it was possible Although your face is still here to stay I don't even remember what it is like To daydream of someone other than you You've occupied my brain so many years It feels strange to make room for him too I wish he could replace you Instead of only serve as a distraction Though to him I am drawn For you doesn't waver my attraction It seems no feelings will ever be strong enough To stomp out the ones you left in my heart But that I have them for anyone else in the first place In and of itself is a pretty good start Before I couldn't even look at another Without my stomach turning sick Now I am hanging out with someone new Used my Polaroid camera to take a pic You may have moved on faster But I am slowly losing the fear That I will never fall in love again Though it'll never be like when you were here I have accepted I will never be as happy again As I was when I was with you But I don't need to duplicate those emotions Not-quite-as-happy will certainly do I admit that the first time he kissed me "He's not as good as you" Repeated in my head But now I realize that you are not better I was just craving familiar instead After spending so much of our lives together I don't know how to be with anyone else But I know comparing everything To the past can't possibly help I understand you could never be replaced Unconditional love for you I hold in my soul I am not searching for my new soulmate Finding someone who makes me smile is my goal There may never come a day Where he has as much of me as you But I don't need him to travel to my depths Only to give me an equal piece too You never let your walls down for me Though I bared my most vulnerable parts inside I don't care if he tells me all his secrets As long as he shows some sections he hides And is willing to chisel away the armor Your mistakes have left around my skin I don't expect him to understand me But you wouldn't even begin So many memories we've shared Things we've done Places we went Now I have to start all over But that time was still well spent I don't think he will ever coax out The level of ecstasy you did with your fingers But his hands give me butterflies And a chill that lingers When you walked out the door you took my hope Left me with an inability to feel But it has returned along with the sense Wounds you inflicted will someday heal If I am patient in the future I'll awaken With his name on my mind first And find comfort knowing that even if he breaks my heart You've already put me through the worst
This poem is pretty ironic but hey small steps
No more time,
for us to exchange greetings. And no more time, for us to exchange words.
Indonesia, 2nd March 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
it's always the people that bring the most joy upon others
that are hurting the worst
People tell me all the time,
That personal poetry is the best, But I'm sorry to disagree. Personal poetry should be the best, But I'm afraid it's not with me. Personal poetry is hardly as clean, Emotions spilling off the page, It's really rather messy. Feelings too raw, too much, to express, And not a single thought can be conveyed, It just seems like a waste of energy...
So sorry if my poetry isn't the best...
You have yet not seen me at my worst
Nor have you seen me trying my best You just met me seconds ago And already termed me as a nuisance.
For all the 2020s
you're by far the 20 of the twentiest
this is me
screaming into the void a whisper i am deserving and worthy of love this is me constructing pieces of boundaries i can't put up yet this is me speaking words that are not lies this is me preparing for the worst this is self-preservation
im tired of biting my tongue
i can't wait to leave this town