I was only 13 when I was put in life threatening danger.
I had to stay up every night waiting for my dad to come home from his second shift job.
I had to learn how to shoot my dad's rifle, disarm and detain, and knock someone out long enough to get away safely.
"Where were the adults," you ask?
With me. My step mom was with me.
But I could barely keep her from hurting herself, so I also had to be the adult.
Dad's gun was kept on the coffee table next to the couch where I slept.
Always within reach.
I've seen my dad beaten and broken.
He was supposed to be the protector.
When we moved away from that place, the people who were trying to kill us followed.
And shortly after we moved, a day after to be precise, they came into our old apartment. Kicked down our old door with their weapons and guns.
They were looking to kill us. All of us.
Me, my 2 week old brother, my dad, my dogs...
We moved to East Troy, in a small 2 bedroom apartment.
They took out my dad's truck mirrors, followed us to Waukesha,
followed us everywhere.
We had our own personal stalkers.
Finally, two years later, my dad was out at the Kwik Trip down the road a ways.
Craig or Crispy or whoever was there.
He saw my dad and punched him in the face. Right inside of the gas station in front of people.
He told my dad this:
"You're dead, Travis. Fucking dead,"
I was at school when all this happened. I wanted to come home.
I wasn't there to protect my family.
I felt so bad.
I needed my dad; I needed to see that he was okay.
But Mandie said to stay at school;
I was safer there.
I cried for about two hours.
Now I'm seventeen.
I'll be eighteen very soon.
Things have settled. They've left us alone and fled the southern part of Wisconsin.
But still, I think about how I couldn't protect my dad that day.
I still feel useless and like I could have done more...
He's still around obviously, but he might not be if he wasn't threatened in public.
I begin to feel something violent;
These thoughts are chaos and my screams are silent,
I was strong
but now I break
something is wrong; I'm still awake.
I woke up in a cold sweat this morning.
Dazed and confused, head fogged up with rain clouds...
I wondered why I was so sweaty in the coldness of my room.
And I realized I am still haunted by the thought of you.
You. Only you could scare me like that.
I saw you. I heard your voice.
That sickly sweet sound of your voice.
The voice I once thought was the only thing that could keep me calm;
only now does it send waves of anxiety through my nerves and veins.
You, the person who I suppressed my feelings of hatred towards.
You, who I thought didn't deserve the hate in my head and heart.
You, the one who gives no thought about me.
I saw you there, between the bars of my dreams and reality
and I saw you smile at me.
It wasn't a smile smile. It was a guilty one.
As if you'd ever feel so guilt-stricken with me.
I saw you there, in your green uniform, and you smiled at me.
I asked you how you were and you said you sob.
You fell through the ice with me.
You said the only difference was that you sunk and I swam.
And I did swim. I remember swimming.
I swam through the icy currents to get away from you.
I practically drowned,
trying to fight my way past your presence.
But here you are, latched onto my ankle without even knowing.
Here you are in my dreams, haunting me with promises.
Haunting me with that voice of yours.
Haunting me with an immolated friendship.
I woke up with a cold sweat this morning.
It must have been the residue of the glacial waters that I practically killed myself in to get away from you.
As I've grown up,
I've realized that I have a gap in between my two front teeth -
and it's starting to widen.
Crazy Jeanie sat in her house,
Crying every night.
For she thought she was young
And she thought she was fun,
But really she was just crazy.
When she was a child
Her abuse was wild
And it messed her up completely
Now she is old,
And eats too much mold
Because her brain is rotten.
The earthquakes are scary
They are weird and red.
They try to pull
down the people from
bed. the people
are crying they
are trying to run.
to fly and
Never did i know she would come on to me. A married woman and married man how could this be.
It started out as a kind gester to take her out never did i know it was I and not her husband she was thinging about
She threw herself at me not thinking with my mind but with my dick to me it was fucked up but to her it was all a game just a trick to get me trapped.
My marrage going up in flames but my wife doesnt want to leave me unlike this crazy woman who see's herself replacing my wife like im her gains
She told me if i cant have you no one will.
Not wanting or ready yo leave my faithful wife the crazy one caught onto the deal.
Dime me out and tell the public hit me with adultry these days are dwendling down my times coming to a end quick.
What am I to do now take my life nah thats too serous not even something to think about. She wants to end my life end my career she is txting me now it her or me choose wisely and not out of fear.
Falling in love and never getting back up
Falling in love and not being returned the feelings
Falling in love and watching you fall in love with another
Falling in love while you barely even like me
Falling in love and having my heart broken
Falling in love and not being happy
So many messed up scary thoughts
That curse my existence and damage my brain
They keep me awake at night
They haunt me every time I close my eyes
There's no release... Love is a demon
Falling in love
Falling in love with you
Again and again and again
Ten seconds is all it takes,
Nine shots that you took before are making you ache.
Eight o’clock you turn to the door,
Seven empty beers are crushed on the floor.
Six of your friends flee out of sight,
Five seconds later you realize they were right.
Four steps until you step in the car.
Three clicks, the engine starts.
Two hearts are in danger,
One person is alive, the other dies as a teenager.