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stillhuman May 24
I have never seen darkness
like yours
So palpable
Terrorizing me
hauling my choice
to ever forgive it

It felt like a knife
inches away
breathing on my neck
cold like the dead
that never said goodbye

I had to fight it
stand rightous to its madness
keep it contained
like blood spilling
from my hands cupped
trying so hard
to just
save it

And I won
or i thought i did
but the darkness remained
still kept me hostage
behind your back
you didn't notice
you didn't see it
the bruise from impact
the apathy covering
hiding sheltering
the obnoxious selfish heaving
of my trapped naked self
enveloped by darkness
The one that almost took your life
The one that ruined our night
that still holds me tight
as i try to survive
and it was never your fault, it never was
neth jones May 12
..............there’s such a clamour
         so much choring
    memory thread
I sit
rocking head
receiver of motion
    bleaker of putty trauma
                creator of mammary craving take up knitting or wood carving

the fortress of thought
(in strict connivance with a bewildered host)
compiles the 'person idea'
protects the fragile calculator
               from biting at its own exposed
                  and useless self mating psychology
               from glutting on its own tail 
                   and merry going mad
                        in a tune of hoops...

..stammering to achieve valuation

for our decent management
may you continue operations falser still
defeating our own polygraphs and making fools of our internal courtrooms

i sit on this chair
things go still
thoughts occur elsewhere
am i left to not be ?....................
[no rocking horse
conveyer belt
tank tread
rock rearward and forth
the thinker and the head]
stephannie Apr 21
she stares at her reflection on the mirror
drunk in eudaimonia, she sways to the beat
there she has it, what others try to fight for
there she has it, what the hopeless badly needs

letting the song blast, she leans against the wall
eyes twinkling as hard as the stars in the sky
to both of her cheeks, a strawberry curve falls
cause in loving herself, she's found her own fire

regardless of who was there to hear, she cried
in happiness, in faith, in hope, and in love
regardless of who was there to see, she strived
with soul, with grit, with the freedom of a dove

and though there are scars that would never heal
she'll live and love to see what the world reveals
written 7 years after 'ruined'
Simon Mar 28
A cancellation of something, is (generally speaking) progress to enlightenment, because it's meant to "congress" the very supposedly different features that literally...
(But only, when something doesn't officially go its own way).
However, in time, things do get better.
Because they must!
It's just simply...HAST TOO!
After all, it's a very "primal" influential (on a need-to-know basis), before something truthfully "triggers" the very (notion of surprise) in the "generalized" form...that is a natural part of life that stems from the very pit in one's own gut.
Then at which time SCREAMS back in response, (from the very first response that triggered its very own local message).
BREAKING the very so-called "alignment" (when evolving yourself directly straight-out from under the control of your very own still processing learning curb), that keeps you (too "rooted" in your very own self) from that very essential...cancellation itself.
But alas, things aren't as focused (as they once were...) Now aren't they...?
That's entirely against the point of "truer" interests that begin too BASH one another over such silly "squabbles".
Something that truly masks the very freedom of what was (once out of control)! That is now breathing in this very newer *** of fresh air.
This very newer *** of fresh air is a little "musty". And could become HEAVILY influenced, because of its very own odor type truly gives off....
But that's only because things have been stashed away and broken down and covered up for far too long.
Meaningfully, making it the obvious result of the very cancellation holding you back from simply moving forward with a very "progression for enlightenment" itself.
Simply put, once you let go of the too many "attachments" that have been stringing you along in such a predictable simulation for an incredibly (sort of "dire" need) to become this WIDENED long-drawn-out frame of time...
That's what starts to truly speculate its very own nature.
Also, when things start to take a turn for the "interesting kind".
Basically, your no different from anyone else.
However, that doesn't mean your own "sense of liberty" (in your very self) doesn't become prey to even truer mindsets...that'd have you "scrambling" out of sync with what truly matters in your very ("hour of need").
Progress at the ending type of spectrum for enlightenment, is the such "divinity" of one's own (preciously "engaged") sufferable type of "repressed" comings and goings (among the very goings on), that then (in the very truest sense of the word) limit your actions to such "formidable...consequences."
Either way, a cancellation such as this, will harbor the very "harbinger"...that is the "progress of enlightenment" itself!
Things tend to mix and match the very severity of many varieties and priorities in one single shot when becoming witnessed to such guesswork that randomly pokes and prods the very air you breath in...and then exhale outward...into the very fabrication of your very own "self-acknowledgement".
stephannie Mar 12
there stood a wall with little splashes of blue
and yellow and red and even black too
but their eyes almost bled, still no one's got a clue
with this much chaos, how should they grasp you?

barely complete, barely coherent
people acknowledged, but wondered what it meant
but those with great patience knew from the start
it's the lack and chaos that makes an art

winter snow fell twice the life of a tortoise
slowly, the colors started making a noise
highlighting its beauty, the sun gives it a kiss
today it made someone smile even during traffic

now perhaps it's okay to be puzzling at first
and lose them with the obscurity of your works
cause only one thing truly gives it meaning
that even with doubts, you never stop painting
to my best friend.
happy birthday, art.
Gracier Dec 2020
It is easy for one
To yearn for incredible highs,
To only be pleased by such moments;
Or to be devastated by lows,
To teeter at the edge of death,
After the heart is pierced through by thorns of despair.

Only such peaks and valleys
Seem to be highlighted,
Like the lighthouse’s beam amidst the fog
That is the monotony of daily life.

It is easy for one
To indulge in fantasizing,
To be consumed by the achingly beautiful dreams
That come to mind,
For the mind is like a legendary bird -
its flight is without bounds

While the body remains spiritless,
And the acts repeat themselves,
Like playing a video,
In infinite loops.

And so the only way out,
Is to upgrade the quality
Of the slightest endeavors,
To appreciate the small thrills,
For the majority of life,
Is spent on the process.

For when one thinks about it,
It’s the baby steps,
The tiny amounts of persistent effort,
That eventually lead to the ultimate One Piece.

Or wait, rather,
Have we all been mistaken,
Is the gold actually in,
These little supposedly mundane moments,
Which, like the letters of the alphabet ,
Together constitute the masterpiece that is the story of our life?
being distracted
is not the same thing
as being okay
Troy Dec 2020
Thoughts race in this jagged mind of mine
head spinning and mind collapsing
what am I?
Am I a man or a woman?

Born male
yet I don't identify
I dress up as a female
yet I don't identify

torn between these two structures
that classify the human gender
yet I don't identify
It's killing me to realize

Maybe I'm both
maybe I'm not neither
so much to figure out
so much to process

the thoughts keep racing
beginning to spiral out of control
Pronouns he, him and his
never really fit

the pronouns she, her and hers
only left scars
at first I thought of transitioning
to clear out my head

but now it's like a stab wound
festering upon my soul
am I a man
or am I a woman

they both seem so permanent
and yet seem doable
so maybe I a both
but that's my choice to find

I like being called he
yet I like being called she
I like being called they
so maybe I'm both and neither in a whole

so call me crazy
say that I'm broken
say that I'm not right in my head
but at least I have the courage to be me
Niel Nov 2020
We harmonize
together sometimes
still, on mountainous hill-
sides, when the winds blow
together and echo through caves,
canyons. Hollow logs. Presented darknesses:
wolves, foxes..    Thieves, betrayers. Energies
are so varied, if only we could download an imprint of their view. What would it seem? I can’t imagine ever being absolute on aspects, ideas, ideals. Anymore at least. I guess that’s
just my current absolute.

I resist, intents I set,
out of cowardice

Fear to unify
Shaken down the road
Solid monad. Brittle tendrils

Sweet the senses, share intense
to procure inclusion, boundless plenties
prone incisions unfold yr own rhythms
emboldening, appreciating in an expansion
pressing, but really, more of a soft glide
of understanding for the thrill
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