A million little thoughts, their heads cut off,
all running laps around my crowded skull
and multiplying, unlit Molotov.
I feel like i'm going insane, it’s awful
to be in this headspace of anxiousness,
just waiting for the straw to break my back,
always one second from the bright abyss.
It could be that I just need to cutback
Or maybe what i need is just to go,
I'll drive until I can't and then I'll run.
I’ll up and leave everything that I know
to find the path that's not a loaded gun.
I can't imagine asking for all this,
God let me meet peace with a final kiss.

My life feels like an empty coffee cup

The buzz has past and only the specs

That will be washed away remain

My eyes stare vacantly as I turn

Page on, page on, page




My mind wandering away from the dictionary definition of the words on the page

Searching for an answer

Some motivation, a surge of energy

Just one urge to move




My sheets are not just where I sleep

They are where I suffer

A place where dreams come true

But nightmares too









Are people running to go someplace?

Did you see that girl who was skinny as can be
Showing us all that she had a sickness she couldn’t see
Chasing death on the trails
She runs to stop feeling full
Wish she could see that she is sick as can be
As everyone else can see

Wishing that she could see if she was skinny as can be
So she avoids the food in fear that they will see the fat
that she can see
but she is skinny as can be
and sick but she cant see

Hungry to the point that all she can see
Is that this could make her skinny as can be
only dreading the next meal that she "doesn't" need
so sick that see can't see
that she really is skinny as can be

" oh I'm not hungry you see"
her favorite words to say when others can see
that she is skinny as can be
Her so called friend Ana who doesn't want her to see
that she is sick and will never see

So she'll keep counting the calories and hoping they don't see
The fat that her and Ana can see
She'll keep running those trails
But death has nearly got her by the heels
Because she is sick and can't see

I run in the river, I'm lost, I run.
Watching While rocks roll past my feet, I'm done.

the smoke in my lungs,
tears in my eyes,
he is the break in my heart
I am suffocating;

Time.

he squeezes,
he grips,
demands, limits,
leaves no survivors;

Time.

Why am I running to him?
When he’s running from me

Its as if this determines my likability
Stay present
Focus on you
Rumination and worry
Will only lead to doubt.

Break free
Don't stress
If it's meant to be, it will be

If the glass is half full
You can’t fill it to the top.
It needs to be filled by two.
To create lasting harmony

Heart raw
And wanting more
There is a hand suspended
Hanging in the air

Love me or lose me

How did I walk 37 miles in 19 hours?
How did I bike 90 miles in 11 hours?
...
Inhale in nose, exhale in nose 4x
Inhale in nose, exhale in mouth 4x
Inhale in mouth, exhale in nose 4x
Inhale in mouth, exhale in mouth 4x
And repeat.

You just need enough food and water and a pair of soft and hard soled shoes.