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Rain 3d
Run
Always chasing distraction,
Running to keep ahead.
Always to my next action,
My thoughts I still dread.

Studying till I can not,
And then wanting to get drunk.
Thoughts disappear shot by shot,
So I won’t get in a funk.

My feet start to tire,
I sit and breathe.
The thoughts consume me like fire,
Blazing and burning through me.

I try and get up fast,
To escape my own thoughts.
To avoid my harsh past,
But they keep up their taunts.
I treat new friends
Like one night stands
Convince myself that they,
Like so many others,
Will leave.

Give them a glimpse
Of who I am--
Pre planned parts of my heart.
Never too much,
Never close enough
For them to take root and stay.

I take the thrill
Of someone new;
Their taste sparks on my tongue
Until I throw it all away
When the morning comes

I treat new friends
Like one night stands
And leave before they do
I'm a very social person and have met a lot of people whom I could have been close to had I not run.
Heavy Hearted May 17
For 2 years, we've met, until now, I stop.
Arranging impassion's unpleasentationships
in this 10th year, doubtlessness's equipped
to unveil all of his un-friendship.

I'll leave here.                        
  
I leave behind.              
      
  I'll leave today-    

         & wont return.

When you go so far and facetiously thank-
  what you know to seek forgiveness for
Your once full words, empty and blank
while guises of gratitude implore.

All the cop outs and shifting blame
To grow up and then blow away again
Us tortured youths, from diamond minds
Extrapolate all that we may find
Worthy, of exchanging for our flesh's  time-
Insidiousness perpetuates the implicit crime.

All that's perceived against one's will
Something inside the heart's absorbant, Freckled iris, the minds eye's staring still-
Every kiss, smile & quote, now abhorrent.
To Dr. Ariel Graff,
Written the second last time I was in his house, read now during my final visit, written down and left behind.
Jay May 14
The selflessly selfish woman. She is a paradox in motion, love offered freely, recklessly, like an open door swinging wide for all who approach, even those who never deserved to knock. Her warmth floods the room, soft and golden, but when love is returned,when someone dares to fill her heart placed in a porcelain cup, she recoils. She’s a healer, a nurse of tender things. She knows how to soothe, how to mend the skin of others with a kiss. But when love lingers too long, when it dares to settle, it leaves her trembling. She’ll sew up his wounds with the finest thread, careful and kind, then vanish before the bleeding begins. She calls it mercy, perhaps even grace, but it’s escape by another name. She disappears without a trace, yet the truth will always follow in her shadow: it’s not the chaos she fears, but the calm. She craves the ache of love decaying, the flicker of passion burning itself out. The slow fade, like a bonfire dwindling to embers, feels safer than the steady glow of something lasting. She’ll try, so **** hard, if it’s soft, steady, and solid… but she’ll search for any crack, any reason to run. She screams that she doesn’t deserve the good. And maybe she believes it. But love, real love, was never meant to be understood. It’s felt. It’s built. And no matter how strong the walls are, if giving stops feeling like sacrifice, she’ll break them down just to run again. They call her kind. They call her brilliant. But no one notices the hollow look in her eyes. Her best version of love is always with one foot out the door, mourning things she can’t let herself want. She’s a martyr with blueprints for escape folded into the seams of her being. Her arms are empty, her hands trembling, from all the effort it takes to give what she never seems to keep. She is the selflessly selfish woman, both a curse and an art. Saving everyone she can…except her own heart.
the anxiety creature
made up of slime and ooze
with sharp claws
that dig into my mind
trying to drag me down with it
whispering in my ears
making me tremble
and ruminate
i try to run and escape it
but it always catches up
i won't stop running from it
soon enough it will tire
and i will be free
I don't want just a friend —
But a lover who cherishes me
With the same devotion as
:
A true friend.

As parts of my soul runs away
From itself; perhaps I must
Summon the courage to chase
:
After love, instead!
Did I bite off more than I could chew,
Running through this life with you?
No, it was the perfect taste,
A sample of the wines of youth.
Yet I sorrow in it's beauty,
For as I drink I become more thirsty.
Till all I wish to taste,
Is that flavor that is you.
So I apologize if I am hasty,
But I am addicted and craving,
Your drink is far too tasty.
Love
Gideon Mar 7
No bars on the windows.
No locks on the doors.
No reason to stay here.
No way I’m ever leaving.
Arii Feb 27
I stand on a cliff,
at the edge of the world.
Letting the wind and the sky envelop

me.

I run for it.
I run for the adrenaline and the life.
The ground breaks beneath
my feet

I float with the air,
the sun is in my hands.

The world crumbles.
Nevermind,
the stars still look after me

even as I
awake.
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