I cannot do this anymore Digging myself into a hole Allowed myself to hope Instead I ended up broke It's both our fault but most is on me My wish was that we were meant to be My worst and best days shared with you Were everything that I knew. Made me feel complete, so full of life Little did I know, that was my own knife I told myself "Just keep it light" My heart and soul just shined too bright. But then it hit me like a storm That you will never call me home You are exactly where you want to be Your heart and soul were with me temporarily. This was a game, I think I lost Now I'm ready for the worst You chose the easy way out, so do I To get you out of my heart and my mind I wish you happiness with whoever it may be I don't think I have the strength to see. I will be first for someone new Before that happens, I'll forget you Turns out that you never loved me It was my perception of reality I told you goodbye and then I hung up No txt or a phone call, you never faught back The saddest thing is, that this is the end In just one moment I lost love and a friend.
Black ink seaps from my pores- oily and tainted of hatred My body has no place for anger or hatred or jealousy So out it spews- from my skin- my lips- spit drenched lips Spitting up feverish complaints of disgust Yet they say your poisons are your own to consume To take- to swallow- to abuse yourself with Trama ringing as tinnitus in the stillest nights Dripping from my skin oil pools as I wade through pain Forcing it all out and drowning in it all the same Darkness floods my brain- sludge swarming Black pouring from white out- all sclera eyes rolled back Begging to wield this pain against another- any monster No human to be harmed by the inky tendrils that encapsulate me Sensitivity thinning the toxins out- they pour from my pores Fingers leaving trails along walls as I sit in a shower to leak out Ring out to dry- only to refill with more doses of abuse the next day
...still off my antidepressants and back to being wayyyy too ******* sensitive, anxious, and mostly depressedddd. Its absolutely fantastic.