what the **** is happening to me? I am losing myself again and this time I cannot even blame anyone because no one is at fault here, it's me and my mind.
Am I depressed? 
Am I mad?
what is this?
How can I figure what is going on with me?
what is this feeling?
I am not missing anyone, I am not talking to anyone, I am doing nothing which can mess with my head, maybe it's the nothing which is making me mad or maybe I was never okay?
Maybe I was just distracted from the reality and was living in delusion?
maybe my mind is still the same? 

I want to figure this out before it's too late or maybe it is too late? what am I even talking about?

I find it funny how I got here.

By here I mean this life, this body and got stuck with these thoughts and feelings, which are many times so unfamiliar to me that I start to wonder, are they even mine? who gave them to me? are they gifted, bought, borrowed? can I return them? can I exchange them?

What about the color of my eyes or the sound of my voice? my thirst for knowledge or the drive to fight injustice? can I love less? care less? can I become someone else?

what if I took someone else place, what if there is someone out there who could have done a better job at being me than I am? shouldn't they get a chance?

From all these years questioning why I am alone?  Now I can simply answer, it was a choice I made that never made sense since until I see I was behind all closed doors.

Quis sum ego?
Vir, poeta, amator.
Aut ego iustus amissa sum?
Ego feci nomina illa usque.

Is crying on Christmas day normal?
Is wondering if I'm crazy normal?
Is harboring a 15-year resentment normal?
Is wanting to die normal?
Is hating your parents normal?
Is taking melatonin as a sleeping pill normal?
Is writing poems normal?
Is living life normal?
Is smiling normal?

I am
So confused

By Arcassin B

weak minded girls with an agenda just to be the one to think they claim your heart but every time they run away and pretend like they care from the start,

in the end make a man feel so incomplete that he has to give up on love as a whole, it's cutting deep in the soul ,I wish that you could come and save me from this nightmare that's taking control,

if everything comes together then you can break the mold,
I find it easy to unbind than to sleep in cold,
can we desensitize the youth, turn ratchet b**
into goddesses, what do we do?
these other girls can't compare ,
trying to see what's good with you,
it's sad to see black love crumble every year,
why don't they teach us to love each other?
got some questions here.....


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