What if we all could have our own world
Our own space in time
One place for all our lifetimes
One place hidden inside our soul

A part of the universe for us
To which all our imaginations could thrive
Our own little spot that we can explore
And only in death would the door open

To turn the handle, to take a peek
To come back, and write for the world to see
To share in our eyes, that nobody can touch
A place where we could be ourselves

If only we could stay our self
In life, in death
Why do we change so much as we age
Why does our light die, and fade

May 5 2019

As we weep
The flowers grow
From the pain
We rise
But when anger strikes us
We burn
We turn to ash
Once we are ash
We stay ash

We were told by our mothers
That the spirits
That the winds that blow against our skin
Will one day move through us
And take what little of us remains
The wind will soar and carry us
Across fields and streams and mountains

But the winds have died
There are no more tears
No fire burns
And the flowers don't grow

We've killed ourselves

Does it ever end,
this expanse of pain, and suffering.
I dont understand why,
why am I hear if I all I seemed to do is cry and waste away and crawl further into myself.
Please explain why I seem to see no end to this feeling i feel all the time.
Pain,
no matter if i am genuinely happy or sad, theres just this pain I feel.
Like I'm constantly in pain just for existing.
As if it will ever end as long as I have breathe in my lungs and speech on my tongue. It will just be pain.
I dont understand why.

today, I existed—

my apologies.

April 4 2019

Life Death Time
Memories Friends Family
Love Feelings Fun Experiences
What are things we live for huh?

We live for others, other Life
We live to die, waiting for Death
We live in time, day by day
And night by time, just existing

We live in our memories, remembering
We live for our friends, our family
To spend one more day together
With them

Some live for love, me i guess
The abstract notion of it being possible
Many die alone, never loved, never loving
Only a dream and hoping it was really attainable

We live for the feelings we get
In life it comes, sadness, happiness, anger
Laughter and every other feeling
Emotions are worth living for

We live for fun, one more game, one more movie
Another day and more laughter in fun
A jest you know
Girls just wanna have fun, guys... just want something else

Life experiences, those are cool
But, they come 1 time, the first time
Every other time is just an addiction
Repeating like a loop

Once taste, one touch, and you want it again
That first experience, once, and forever lost in memory
We try and try, to feel it, like it was firstly
But it will never come again, addiction is always thirsty

Some live only to dream
And in those dreams our bubbles sings
What is your bubble?
And when it bursts, what little life remains
Existing, is only a curse

Lostness creeps through my veins
Everyday stays the same
Each breath is confirmation of a world continued
Proof of existence unending

Walls are built to outsmart hurt
But what is inside stays inside
In a safe in your heart with a code only you know
Lies the secrets and denials of life, lived and survived

Here I go again
Why do I do this
The code remains unknown
A riddle to the discover
The answers to a world lost and forgotten

Anger burns my soul
Caged in the nightmare
Of dark mazes of the mind
And laughing, mocking faces in fences

Shadows clouds loneliness
Alone, so alone
This hell is built for one alone
Only space for spectators

Feelings are a different dialect
No way to explain or translate
The door slams shut hard
The darkness will hold on
To what is lost and never forgotten
Just hidden

No escape

I'm breathing,
feeling how the oxygen
spreads inside my body
after passing the way
inside my lungs.
So why am I questioning
if I'm living?

Quinn