A questionnaire of my family history is only a monologue I tell myself.
Practicing in front of the mirror to get better.
So, the next time the doctor’s words I am sorry falls back into their lips.
& I am onto my feet.
Tears in the ducts like my mind that encapsulates my emotions.
A vapid, monologue screenplay.
The rehearsed version of my life.
Somehow always fumbling through the words.
Answering the questions.
Yet leaving voids in my answers as my family’s members absence did.
Mother?
Two strokes. She’s alive but not apparent enough to know it.
Her blood runs to thick.
Blood pressure always boiling.
Mother knew how to live fast but never well enough.
Father?
Dead. He was alive but never long enough to hold it.
Heart always dropping and head into the palms of his hands.
Thirst never stopping.
Alcoholism is a wicked thing I say.
Siblings?
Brother. Alive somehow not present enough to count it.
Healthy. We count his days as tick-tack-toe though.
Family history has a lineage that says the roots in this family tree are rotten.
Sister. Victim to mental health.
The prodigy of a broken foster system.
I reckon her days are counted in lines.
Between days she’s alive & the days she wishes she wasn’t.
The doctor does an homage in the way she bows her head.
Makes the hollowed-out chest of mine seem like it’s filled with water.
I let out a gasp.
Trying to fill the room where all the air has seemed to have evaporated.
Hoping to catch my breath.
My story filling their break room like a lingering coffee smell.
Keeping them brewed in satisfaction that it could always be worse.
My story always seemed like the punch line for better days.
Our family has been waiting since genesis for such.
These are the days I wish I believed in something.
A god to drown every nightfall with dawn.

when the therapist asked
about my family history,
I gave her a history lesson.

I told her that growing up,
my house was a war zone.

I don't remember
what year it was, but eventually
the house collapsed into itself.
that trauma left me scared and hurt
with nowhere to go.

my mother moved out first.
she moved straight into
a life of addiction, and then
she found a new house
in the form of a jail cell.

my father also began
to call a jail cell his home.
he moved into the newspaper,
and then into the database of the
national *** offender registry.

now, we have separate houses
and conflicting beliefs.

we don't share anything
besides that story
and our DNA.

I couldn't tell her
about my family history,
because I don't
have parents anymore.

I have no family.
all I have is history.

While shakespeare closes his book
While Colombus sets his sail
Don't give me that look
I need to bail

Somehow i survive
The killing blow of Kraken
But I wouldn't know if I'll thrive
But I was still shaken
By her words

People cites their science
While Kenway sails away from his past
But I know something was wrong ever since
I saw everything turned to dust

I'm away, now
Sail away
Now you're awake
For my sake
Let me sail away

So What Would You Say... ?
If You Had The Chance...
To Speak To... YOURSELF...
In Your Younger Days... ?!?

Would You... ?
Choose To ADVANCE....
Your Mental State... ?
Or Would You Relay... ?
A Way To Earn WEALTH...
So That You Could Change...
How You Live Today... ?!?

Well That Would Indicate....
A LACK of... " Faith "...
In The Choices You've Made...
And Where It Is You Lay...
And WHO It Is You've LAID... !!!!!!

Well Now I Would Say...

" Make LOVE To The Ladies,
BEFORE You Have Babies !

By THIS I Mean...
Take TIME To GLEAN...
What It Is SHE SEES...
As A LOVING Family... !!!

DON'T JUST RUSH IN...
Because of What You THINK...

If You Have DOUBTS...
Then THRASH THEM OUT... !!!!!

Before You Find...
That She's NOT Your Type... !!!

... CUT OUT The Lies... !!!

Let TRUTH DEFINE...
The Path You Find...
To Live Your Life... !!!!!

REMEMBER THAT Some...
WILL... RUN Their GUMS... !!!

To Try To IMPRESS...
When They Have LESS... !!!

LESS Than... YOU...
BELIEVE That's TRUE... !!!

So... ALWAYS Be Gracious...
When Dealing With HATERS... !!!

Cos' You'll Find Their...
.... Brain Status....
Is On A... HIATUS... !!!!!

Because.....
MOST OF Their Thoughts... ?
Come Out of THEIR ****... !!!!!!

MANY A FOOL Will Try To PROVE...
That They've Been Schooled...
In... ALL THAT's Shrewd....
When... ISSUES RULE... !!!
The Way They Move... !!!!!

Some ARE Cool...
BUT Only A FEW... !!!

DON'T Sign Contracts... !!!
To Join With Mans'...
Who CONTROL Gangs...
With SCISSOR Type Hands... !!!

They'll CUT You OFF...
Just Like Bernie MADOFF'...  
Once You've Been USED... !!!

DON'T Be Confused... !?!?!
THAT's... FUTURE News... !!!!!

STAY TRUE To YOU... !!!
DON'T Follow Crews... !!!!!!

Lead YOUR OWN Path... !!!
And Follow YOUR HEART... !!!

And ENSURE That You HAVE...
By KNOWING Your Math... !!!!

PROTECT Your Cash... !!!
If You Get To Be A Man...
Who AIN'T POOR Like That... !!!
And Have A Fair Amount...
When HOUNDS SURROUND... !!!

DON'T Beg Steal or Borrow... !!!!
Or Carry Your Sorrow... !!!

Learn To Swallow...
Instead of Wallow...
In Pity Or Tomorrow...
You'll End Up Feeling...
... HOLLOW... !!!!!

Emptiness Leads.......
To The Type of Sprees...
That You DON'T NEED... !!!

LISTEN UP TRUST ME...... !!!!!!!!

I Can See That You Feel...
That People AREN'T Real... !!!!!
Well Here's The Deal... !!!!!

A LOT of People... "conceal"...
Who They REALLY ARE... !!!

So Just Be... " SMART "...
When They EXPOSE Their CARDS... !!!

The TRUTH WILL OUT... !!!
DON'T You EVER Doubt...
That Lies They... "Hide"...
WON'T ONE DAY Find...
Their Way To The LIGHT... !!!!!

Where... " TRUTH and RIGHTS "...
SHINE Like.... SUNLIGHT.... !!!!!

And EXPOSE Their Crimes...
Like.... " C.S.I "....

FORGET THAT Line... !!!!!!!!!
Cos' That's For PRIMETIME...
In The Future Alright... !!!

Don't Be TOO ******* Yourself... !!!
..... Have A LAUGH..... !!!!!

Cos You're STRONGER Than Most...
And That's NO BOAST.... !!!!!

You'll Hear A LOT of Quotes...
That'll ROCK Your Boat.., !!!

But You'll STAY AFLOAT... !!!

So Just REMEMBER And NOTE...

That... Like *******...
EGO's Fry Brains... !!!!!

And Then They Make CLAIMS...
That Are... INSANE... !!?!!

Things REALLY WON'T Change...
When It Comes To RACE... !!!

Son Your BLACK Face...
Will HAVE TO Sustain...
A LOT of IGNORANCE...

It's A Human STAIN...
From Which Some...
... WON'T REFRAIN... !!!

And Sadly WILL Defend...
EVEN When They Have NO CASE... ?!?

DON'T LET Your Anger...
... "CONTROL You"... !!!!!

DON'T **** That Hammer...
Just REFUSE Those Tools...
That... KILLERS USE... !!!!!

USE Your HEAD... !!!
And Try USING A PEN... !!!

Because YOUR Poetic PATENT...
May Well Just Be Your TALENT... !?!

Use It WISELY... Use It NIGHTLY...
Use It Like Your Name's RON ISLEY... !!!

LOVE Your Mother...
Like She LOVES YOU... !!!
DON'T Let ANY SUCKER...
Come Between You Two... !!!

She's Gonna NEED YOU...
MORE THAN You Know... !!!!!

Let Your Father GO.....
And REFUSE To FEUD... !!!

Just Be.... COOL....
And PATIENT TOO... !!!

And NOW Here's The...
... " FINAL THING "...
That I'll Say To YOU... !!!!!

When You Are LOW...
And Feel... Sad And Blue...

It'll Work Out FINE... !!!
RELAX Your Mind... !!!!!
Just LIVE YOUR LIFE..... !!!

Just Like THIS Script...
That Came From THIS...

Speaking To... ME...
In A Time and Space...
Where The Question Would Be...

Now That You Are Face To Face...
With The Virge of YESTERDAY....

… In All HONESTY...

" What Would You Say ? "

Walking and the air is cold
Feeling young
Conversation is old
Eyes following lips
No talk of a kiss
Just you and me
And history

The matrix is just another name for institutions.
The ones that own you.
Come here, number 258-65-4562.
Provides you social security in that you are only a number.
Tallies on what they can take.
A way to count you.
Devalue your spirit down to a decimal.
The monetary value of what you can contribute.
A worth they just can never seem to buy into.
Enslaving our people, cattle to which they devour.
An empty stomach with a pit in it.
Pit seeded from eve’s apple.
Turning brothers to thieves with slightest taste of power.
Authoritarians filled with greed.
Putting our sons into attires that strip them of their generations.
Giving them guns to spite our neighbors.
All for those who we are nameless.
An extra decimal, partial space to a means as an end.
Hanging off the sentence of history rewritten in the favor of those who should be forgot.