Im not doing ok
I havent washed my hair
since last Sunday
I've worn these clothes
For the past 3 days
Just about killed myself
But like nothing is really wrong
Im just ******* depressed
And I don’t know how to get out of it
I almost asked someone how
I know if I need more help
Instead I typed a paragraph about
Why they matter and
Need to put themselves first
Not by your GPA
Or what others say
For you are far more
Than what some people see
Measure your worth
In the number of smiles you’ve caused
The way that you light up the world
Luminating the darkness
Turning sad nights
Into the most beautiful day
And I know it may mean nothing
To read this from your screen
I just wanted you to know
That you are
Than you yourself believe
So much time on my hands
don't know what do anymore
all I have Is my poetry that takes up some my
I used to be so active looking after my sweetheart 24/7 there wasn't anything I wouldn't do
It now feels as I'm not apart of anything now desperately trying to find a reason to my still being
I guess It's basic survival born Into us all but I think the love that we for each
never dies but only get stronger with the psssing of time the love for Helen
even though she Is gone Is
than anything In the future could possibly be and I'm happy with this to keep Helen with
Inferno we bring into our lifes
While we speak the sweetest lullabies
We do care about the buildings we made
But the biggest rainforest is not interesting as Notre Dame
What is more important , our biggest rainforest or some piece of architecture? So how it is possible I heard about Amazon rainforest fire after 2 weeks and Fire about Notre Dame exactly the same hour it happened..
A milliards of people in this world. And each of them have own place. And every places are important. And each of them have own task. Each person sended in this world for go through own path.
And everyone are important and what they do, important too.
Be proud of who you are.
Myteries of love sometimes hard to Imagine how It comes to be how we fall In love I used to ask myself could this happen a second time
Having lost the love of life the only woman I'd ever known
for that was miracle enough
Helen whom I'll never stop loving
But the question I have been asking Is If It possible to love again after losing a loved one
I'd say yes Its possible for Its happen to
She far away there's no chance I'm far to old now not able to travel any more but I love from afar how Is It possible you
probably asking yourself
never forget your first love and you never try to compare them because you never will for that would
In my case the two ladies are total different personalities so there no comparing If you take that on board then yes It's possible to love
But having said all I have I made a promises to Helen to keep her memory alive and will keep that promises and I shall never forget
When I feel
because I am not known
for some great achievement,
I remind myself
the purpose of living
is not to achieve greatness
but to strive for my joy and happiness.
I ask myself
in the present-moment
is not “Am I important?”
and not “Am I great?”
but I ask
“Am I joyful and happy?”.
Sometimes, it gets to you,
no matter how hard you try not to care.
how many times you deny it doesn't hurt.
how many times you reiterate that it doesn't matter.
It hurts because it still matters,
and at times the thought of it mattering
hurts even more.
Sometimes all these things add on,
and you begin to break.
That's when you finally accept to yourself,
Dear __ ,
We barely talk,
we spend mornings and nights
looking down on those rectangular box.
You don't even look at me anymore,
unless it is through the lens of yours.
You can't hear me over those phone calls of yours,
and now my heart sores and roars
for I feel alone.
Here comes the friend who calls, to use me.
Here comes the friend who plans, to ditch me.
Here comes the friend who messages, to lie.
You don’t matter no more
For I no longer want be hurt any more.
So take your pain
that you wrap as presents,
Because I no longer want it no more.
Don’t you keep calling me babe any more
Don’t keep calling me your best friend any more
For it no longer means anything no more.
Because these words
are just labels that mean nothing anymore.
Nothing matters anymore
No one understand me no more
So leave me
Lie to me
It no longer matters to me anymore.