When late at night I kick my hot blanket Off my feet, as I lay sweating profusely After just surviving another devil choking me I roll over to my side, I reach out for my phone I go over your messages Little binary codes over the crystal white glass Showing a word ‘’love’’ That you sent to me without thinking what it meant But for me it is enough ‘’love’’ In person, a word you will never say So love me but from far away
When I get bored sitting in damp garden nook Surrounded by primroses and lavenders In the feeble heat of freshly deceased spring The phone resting on the wooden table rings I go over your messages Your languid greetings for something you need I begin to sulk as I proceed, writing back To taunt you, hiding my desperation to talk to you I smile in this garden saturated with your scent Smile In person, You will never make feel that way So love me but from far away
P.s The third line refers to my recurring Sleep Paralysis episodes
I close my eyes to visit my safe place It’s a town that welcomes me Every time I need it, it pulls me in But lately it’s slowly decaying Naked roses Silent birds Washed out colors of my orange shirts Unripe sour fruits Melodious winds ambling all mute Day without clouds Night without stars My back against the, Blue paint peeling off the walls
And maybe you can join me Take my photos with your polaroid camera Drowned in the unblossomed daisies Gentle shadows of glassy fantasies Slowly drifting in my backyard Where we sit humming to our untuned guitar
But you must go Only I can stay You are just a figment of my imagination Maybe everything is, I don’t know what is true I’ve lived here for far too long But now this town is throwing me out Maybe I should go too
But I know I am going to stay
My perfect world is slowly breaking apart. Is it my time to leave now? Is it too late to leave?
Around the chaos I've been breathing, Flowing through tears but never crying I have a scream inside that can't speak Gave everybody things I couldn't afford Along the line of hate I've been searching smiles Feeling so drowned I couldn't sink Confused inside but improvised others Someday someone would listen & relate But it'll probably be too late...