I just wanted to go out and play I would say
I just wanted to have fun
I never meant to cry wolf
I thought I was one
I thought we were all friends
Life was testing me
I was younger, full of heart
But the world left me hungry
And soon I was ravenous, wild
I flew the coop
And Victoria was on the row
our faces were in the snow
you don't know me, no
it was all just a part of the show
just for show
you wouldn't know, no
you had to be there
We were 19 and on fire,
He said he felt inspired
My eyelashes tickled his neck one time and he lost himself in love, said let's go higher
Once I started I kept going until consciousness left me
A liability, it's not pretty
You should have just crashed your car, you thought
my fur was violet
I was always fighting with myself alone and howling at the moon
I faked it all to live
I'm a doll, I said
I modelled, I kissed you after the party after you told me about that tree, you said you almost died hanging on
I fell right then
I cried that day
It was your fake chemicals we ate
You tricked my heart
Let's go to the fucking mall
I need a pack of cigarettes, I need to go out and get that grass
Let's get lit. Let's go.
I'm writing a book, I insisted.
After this is all said and done.
After that was all said and done.
You're too much he said.
So I left and made a house of cards so tall and delicate
I drank, put on my ballet slippers
You tried, I said
We took acid that night
He knocked at the door and I barked like a dog
Bathed in pastels and I was skin and bone
I felt so alone, I was just skin and bone
Powder in my teacups
Red hieroglyphics on my skin
I cut off some fur
Bleached it here, and there
And I ran scared
No one scared me like I scared myself.
My heart, I took it out and stuck it on the shelf.
December 20th 2013
"D-Day", I whispered
Mom unlocked her door
Made me Mac and cheese.
I showed up at Heather's office in Hello kitty footy pajamas after my first nap in days
Succombing to the vanity, I threw on a dress and got into character
I was very small
I felt so very small
I wasn't there at all
I was like, Doctor, let me catch you up
But she cut me off, yeah
She cut me right off and got on her phone cause she heard the yelps, the howls
underneath the barks
She could smell the forest fires
She said I was mad, no I wasn't bad.
"But we have to put you away."
So that day, I got put away
The ambulance came and I laughed in hysterics and said you better just take these now
Here's the candy...
The Show must go on
Please don't put me down
Yeah, they put me down alright