I want less hollow nights
And a loneliness that dissipates
I want the moon to shine from my chest
A glow that pulses with the rhythm of my heartbeat and accentuates the craters from every asteroid that's hit the surface.
I want stars in my eyes when I look at you.
I want love in my moon heart when I hug you ... hold you.
I want time to be blissful and inaccurate. A mess of seconds, minutes and hours sped up and slowed down no longer indicating or defining any one experience.
And in the mess, I want to ponder that loss of structure with you.
I want to feel whole and complete
In my brain and body
I want hope and unconditional respect for my genderless siblings and their conflicts.
I want patience for my own weaknesses
And forgiveness for my failures.
I want the strength to wake up
The courage to feed myself
And the confidence to keep moving
Time ticks forward and backward, up and down.
I want calmness and leniency for my emotional process
Gentle touch from my friends and lovers
I want healing and self-love.
I want to sleep next to you
To learn to trust
To connect frayed and threads from split ends of past wounds
Reconnecting emotions that only spark and never light
A gas stove that poisons the air awaiting ignition.
I've spent my spoons on people who have only learned to take.
I want to never forget how to give
Even to those who don't deserve it.
I want to forgive those who have hurt me and rejected me.
And I want to forgive myself for those I have hurt and rejected.
I want to find closure for pain that numbly aches in my cratered moon heart.
I want to make plans for the future
With hope in my mouth
As words tumble out
I want to see the sun rise and set in all its cliched glory.
I want to feel satisfied by simplicity
And welcome difficulty with determination emanating from my pores.
I want to be humbled by all the things I will never know and accepting of not knowing.
I want to sit with my sadness and console it with thoughtful kindness. I want to find the energy to walk through the fires of depression with strength and understanding.
I want to believe in my worth and that I am worthy.
I am worthy.
I want to surround myself with those who make me feel wanted and cared for.
Loved and understood.
I want to help others feel their worth and have patience with their process of understanding their own worth.
I want to be present for those I love.
And make sacrifices to maintain my own self-care.
I want to look at my craters
Truly see them
Even the deepest darkest ones
Accepting and acknowledging their presence and recognizing the change they have created in me, positively or negatively.
I want to breathe life into the air
And stay alive for another thirty years and another thirty after that.
I want to see the value in my life.
I want to live openly and thoughtfully.
Holding myself as well as others
Softly guiding ones who are lost through their sorrows
And accepting that some do not desire guidance nor are they in place to accept it.
I want to permeate positivity.
And not underestimate negativity.
I want to accept the light of the sun
Shining bright on my full moon heart
Bearing witness to all that there is and appreciating the wonder and beauty of the universe in all its vastness.
Beyond the bleeding horizon lies a yellow star,
much like the glow above one's head when three eyes open.
Within that star is an open space
where dew-dropped webs twinkle
like fractals of crystal quartz.
Streams of thought glide down silken strands of consciousness.
The yellow star sings to me;
"Seek further than you're told,
patience radiates like gold.
Your eyes have known
this sacred home
for many moons,
that laughing lune.
The wind may tell
'you know us well'
And we know you, little blue"
So I gaze beyond the sleepy hills, willow trees, and melting clouds
to see the eyes of my own soul smile crisp
like the poison apple in my hand,
cradled cautiously in the lines of my fleshed palm.
The star contently fell behind the mountains,
humming to the melody of the rolling breeze,
fading into the twilight
only to become an echo in my mind.
I gave my soul to the sun that day
only to roam the black of night as an empty void
and see my true self once more
at the break of day.
As I watch the waning of this Capricorn moon
Powerlessness and sorrow at heart
She takes with her the last light
Canvases the sky in dark
I know she'll rise again
Moonset followed by glorious moonrise
But it's all different now
Her reflection leaves my eyes
She'll always be up there
Painfully out of reach
Me forever the student
Of the lessons she would teach
So many questions
So much unknown
But forever grateful
For the way that I've grown
The waxing and waning
Moonrise and moonset
Controlling the tides of my Soul
Before we ever met
She's Always been there
Since Beginningless time
Now her synchronised heart
Is no longer mine
I talk to the moon daily
In a language unspoken
She knows of my dreams
Knows the wolf she's awoken
But our song now has ended
I miss her so much
How can we dance more
If distance means we can't touch?
Had I only known
I would've, should've, what if?
Here and now though
Fear's choices forged a rift
I'm trying to accept this truth
Trying to accept my fate
So I sing my song in silence
The ballad of the Moon's Soulmate
And maybe below moon,
we shall rondevu in dreams.
Re-hashing moments so grand,
where temperatures rose with passions.
Or drift in hearts to know our real contract,
where fantasies met in a kiss.
Perhaps we'll look in each others eyes
and find excitement build once again.
Until morning light comes to echo.
Farewell my love,
as I must tuck you in my heart and move on
As...what once was does always lead to what will be.
The sky is the heart of you
The sun is the skilled of you
The moon is the face of you
But I'm nothing to you...
The moonlight is yours beauty
The sunlight is yours smile
The stars are yours smell
But I'm nothing to you...
The galaxies are yours emotion
The cosmos are yours love
The clouds are yours fun
The rain is yours shy skin
But I'm nothing to you...
I dream of places far away
somewhere they cannot follow,
maybe that's why I dream of death,
or the moon,
or an abyss with a population of one.
A place to get away from the noise,
the people who think they know who I am.
I want to be with the person that does know who I am,
the only problem is
I don't even know who I am.
a murmur as i fall to sleep
the still places there
thick and disquiet dusk
winds wispy dreams evaporating
the time when those eyes lied
swaying branches leaves shadows
the ground is not alive
the moon comforts tears the stars
memory pain elegantly
the time when these eyes cried