we dance like
everyone is watching
never knowing when
this performance ends

we circle around
the feelings we hide
chasing other shadows
left with nothing inside

we snarl and growl
our shadows tall
dancing across halls
of empty homes

menacing monsters
we hide underneath

but in the shade lays a girl
no more than sixteen
go to her and sing
return to me, please

Warmth flows from my lips
Air barely escapes
Pushing forward
never moving
Open, close
Open, close
Standing in an empty room
Filling space with nothing
and everything
Consuming in a vacuum
Giving nothing in return
Seeking purpose
Finding guilt
Depth is created
not given

They're kind of the same:
Falling in love,  
And being sad.
You know that feeling  
when you know in your heart
that the person in front of you  
is gonna fade away little by little,
until you forget about the time  
you spent watching him sing his heart out
until the sun rose,  
and you watched it together.

Yeah it's sad
being in love.

Ever since I was a little child, I always wondered what it would feel like to be an ant. A little teeny-weeny tiny ant. Wandering around in this gigantic world. Following the sugary smell of life, yet all they find are scraps. Collecting all there is from it for their families, and no matter how small the food seemed to us humans, it would always be HUGE for them to carry.

Later on, I grew a bit older, and I started to think, how did the first ant that was ever killed feel like? to be stepped on by a huge giant foot, and without it even realizing that it had stepped on an ant.

How strange it is that such a critter can carry 50 times its own bodyweight, yet can be killed so abruptly.

Would it feel anything? Or would it simply just die? Would her family and friends even realize that it’s dead? Does it even have friends and family and little ants that cared about it?

I wasn’t really sure about the answer, but I always wondered about it.

And then it hit me, or should I say smashed me. That same giant foot I was talking about. No not only did it smash me, but it squished me, squished me hard enough, that I became nothing but a…? I guess I became nothing.

Since then, I knew exactly what the answer was. To be a little tiny creature smashed to the ground. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared. Or did they?

i am fluent enough to understand emptiness when it speaks to me; if you dust off my skin enough, you'll see traces of the sighs we exchange — spilling down gracelessly, they bruise a fragile skin. i have mastered the art of naming them after wild lilacs.

maybe for once, i can say that i am soft enough to grow flowers on my wrists. my lungs. my sternum — all the parts of me that hurt.

but i know too well all about screaming in barren lands. i have thrown my poems in a forest fire. i have forgotten how to breathe without hands around my neck. i have wished to fall on a sword, way too many times to still call these open wounds as bruises — these bruises as flowers — these flowers as soft.

i am fluent enough to understand emptiness when it speaks to me — kindly, and yet, how can i tremble over gentle things? maybe pain isn't what it always is, and i wish to unlearn this language — the mother tongue, whose every word i know by heart. and maybe one day, when it sighs my name, i finally will stop sighing back.

but now, this bed is caving in under all these lilacs and glassy, distant eyes. oh, such a classic case of a girl gone mad at the sight of sunbeams on dying flowers — aching in silence, as she watches it all.

i am fluent enough to understand emptiness when it speaks to me. and outside, the sun rises in vain.

the forming of substance 07
Stephan W

Radiance.


Within the void  are
the greatest mysteries of the universe,
as matter and anti-matter clash;
only to create a newfound energy..
un-owned, unaccountable, unconcerned--
the energy emerging from the clash negates itself
through mutual annihilation; leading to an increase
of space between what it is that is lit; and in
the accelerated rate of expansion of this space,
Illuminated/illuminating  matter takes on the risk
of being removed from participatory perception,
or better said-- to a place beyond retrieve..

and so it is also-
within the void of space that exists within us;
the galaxy-within--
ever-swinging in polarity between the gravity-pull
of illuminating/illuminated substance,
and the ever-distancing properties of
an unowned, unlit space...
dark Energy-- a repulsive force,
attempting to quantify the space between
all that truly matters--
yes.. creating space,
and therefore more room
for it to engage into its ever-increasing
chaotic activity.. quantitatively participating in
its fine art of distraction, dilution
and extortion of time
through nothing other than the negation of matter,
and therefore, the negation of potentiality--
of substance, and so also
the transmission of light.. luminosity:

      parts within the heart, lit up with
      and by the infusion of our own spirits,
      through the beautiful act of volition,

of which, the countless galaxies in the universe
exist as a type, given.. (what-if)...
if only to encourage us through amazing,
mesmerizing example--
surrounded, each.. by a circumference of support
of the dark matter of potentiality--
providing the gravity of containment,
solely in and through its belief in its own possibility,
giving way to its utter inability to deny itself to
what has become already lit,
becoming then.. not only a defining part of the galaxy,
but also a gravitational-formed hedge of protection
against the everpull-entropy of the repulsive force--
of all that is unaccountable-
in its velocity-based separation from volition.


      And, so it is with the universe,
      so, also.. the universe-within;
      Having left its glass-globe sphere,

      this spirit-centered cosmos
      now unfolds, within skin.

It's not that I don’t know how to swim
It’s just that I'm okay with drowning.

I'm okay with sinking
Staring up at the light
That I'll never be able to reach

Because a part of me
Doesn’t even want to try.

I loved this guy once

but like everyone I've ever loved,
this monster abandoned me, but not before
taking my innocence, robbing my childhood

and bestowed upon me the responsibility
of a man when I was still a child
all this, and the ******* still assured that I live

knowing  that I came onto this *******
dirt ball unloved, unwanted and cursed
this guy let me know that someone

was willing to pay to have me aborted while I
was in Mom's stomach.  yup, this *******
also took me to the highest mountain

and from the summit, I could see just
how happy I can be in life.  but then he
pushed me down to my reality

with no chance to climb again
no hope to relive the joy of the summit
I could go on and on about that person, for that person

I know very well. because he is everyone I've ever loved
from the dawn of life, up to the coming dusk
the love that has always let me die