Ellie 1d
she resisted the urge
waited for the end
laying on the ground
she was looking through the void
the sun interrupted her peace
lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the blinding rays
they went right through her soul
messed up with it
manipulated her thoughts
controlled her mind
the soul was up there
between the clouds
feeling pity towards the used body of hers
I spend my nights with darkness looming over me.
A steady feeling of emptiness accompanies me in the day.
Words never seem to be heard the way that people mean them to be.
Words are something that I cannot seem to properly say.

Everyday I feel that I am alone in a crowd full of people.
Everyday I feel that I would be better off dead.
The people around me would surely be happier.
This isn't just all in my head.

Why should I try only to fail?
All my life I have been running from rejection.
In a moment I scream of abandonment.
I push and I pull for control of my life.
Every moment is life or death.
This feeling is an infection.

Thoughts of dying.
Thoughts of blood.
Thoughts of being a mistake.
I couldn't erase these thoughts if I tried.

My mind echos so loudly that I cannot hear.
My voice catches in my throat.
All I feel are insecurities.
All I want is to disappear.

It is the fact that no one understands me.
They can't see that I cant understand them.
That I try to fight for control.
They don't see how hard I try to keep it all inside.
The burden that I have come to be.

No one can ever love me.
I can never love myself.
At some point you just wash away thinking that you'll never be enough.
One piece after the other
I'll break myself apart
and fill your empty spaces
GreenTrees Jul 2017
We arrived at the truth

Not by luck

Not by will

Not by fear

Not by skill

but by it's absence

Nil.




© Karl V. (2017)
- Karl v. 2017
Milky dreams drip from my ears
And molten frost leaks as faded tears
Corroded whispers escape my lips
And from my soul the echo grips
Glory 5d
SHUT MY MIND
PLEASE LET ME BE
I CAN NOT TAKE THIS NOISE
I AM BEGGING FOR REST

i ask for silence
and life
im begging
begging
listen to my plea

this sad small insignificance
little eyes and cold fingertips
stop the warmth of my blood
have i not done everything
EVERYTHING?

show me, love
show me freedom
show me my face
show me

leave
me,
this infinitesimal soul
I am overcome with a sense of dread
An honest feeling I have never felt
It lingers and it strays
But it always comes to me
In a moment of clarity
I grabbed it
To set it free

If I weren’t so caught in the act
Of thinking what I should do next
I might have lived differently
I might have sounded out a spontaneous
Yes

To the question of taking leaps
Swimming in the seas
Where no feelings had to be hurt
To be seen

I could’ve been an addict
Or a Michelin chef
I could have fallen for sporadics
Been a sycophant for antics

But remembering fake days
Is what I live for now
Not as sad as it seems
I just wish I had followed
A better dream
If I were nervous, would you reassure me?
If I were scared, would you comfort me?
If I were angry, would you calm me?
If I were lonely, would you sit with me?
If I told you my fears, would you understand me?
If I were struggling with my demons, would you fight them with me?
If I were standing on the edge, would you hold me?
If I were screaming out for help, would you hear me?
If I hid behind a smile, would you care for me?
If I told you I needed help, would you be there for me?
If I was no longer here, would you miss me?

When I was nervous, nobody reassured me,
When I was scared, nobody comforted me,
When I was angry, nobody calmed me,
When I was lonely, nobody sat with me,
When I spoke of my fears, nobody understood me,
When I struggled with my demons, nobody fought for me,
When I stood out on the edge, nobody held me,
When I screamed out for help, nobody heard me,
When I hid behind a smile, nobody cared for me,
When I said I needed help, nobody was there for me,
When I was no longer around, nobody missed me.

As I sit and ponder life,
All it's troubles, all it's strife,
On social media I see the posts,
If in need, we're willing hosts,
But is it true?  Let's wait and see,
If I need you, are you there for me?

Cinco Espiritus Creation
11/07/18
Sonali 7d
I starve my body in hopes
it'll nourish my mind
I toy with the idea
that I could feel any emptier as I skip meals
and stick a toothbrush down my throat

When I sit in front of the toilet
I wonder
If I was so small
I disappeared
How long would you mourn me for?
March 29, 2018
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