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I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pockets.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.
the tv is too loud and my peeled skin
echoes bleeding beaching, I can't get out
and  next door are screaming

a riot of colour and life and celebration
hurts so much I am taut of breath,
please I need help but the words
won't trip off my tongue

I can't bear the uproar
water flashing, roaring , oh
god the suffocation with the sound
of inebriation

I am trying but I

can't
stand it
anymore.
i look to the night sky
for answers
i am so far removed
from where i stand
detached from this time and place
i don't belong
i send a thought
a message
to anyone that may be passing by this galaxy
on their way home
take me with you
seen lots of moving things in the skies lately
Poetry Addict Oct 11
The grass wept for her, the ice whispered--
A miscast Adam threw the fruit like a protester’s stone.

And this flesh of your flesh, a rib overthrown by stars
This Eve stepped forward with a smile, in
Gentleness.
For a fragile moment in my life.
Moments of agony, desperation
and inarticulate screams
moments I lost myself in space, alienation
don't you abandon me too, please!

There were moments that I saw death
and destruction
moments where my heart stopped for a while
to function..

All the world is spinning like crazy,
don't know what to do
while the thoughts in my head are racing
and I seem like a fool.

There is no one around here to save me
i feel alone
oh my God the demons come running across my mind, don't hate me!
to desperation I am prone,
I 'm feeling sick to the bone,
into a man I have not grown,
all I can do is shout and moan.
To have chosen
to be broken,
and be frozen
while awoken,

To live the pain
to love too much,
and never gain
the needed touch,

To want to feel
a broken heart,
when only real
is torn apart,

To want to live
in spite of this,
so she might give
me just one kiss.
@not.thepoet.hewantstobe
Nomkhumbulwa Oct 7
It shouldnt be this way,
Is what I think i'd hear you say,
For this is a "developed country",
Or at least - it thinks that way.

So then why am I leaving,
To find help somewhere else?
To a country still developing,
A country that needs help itself.

Out of sheer desperation,
That is why im going,
To the people I love and care for,
And as an attempt to heal myself.

I gave them one last chance,
Ive explained, Ive asked for help,
I was shocked and did get close,
Yet that plan failed, there's no help.

This is the state of our services.
And to be seen in the area struggling most,
Yet here I am again,
Back where I started yet again.

It seems there is no money,
It seems there is no help,
Of course it depends on your "problem"
But for me, it seems there's no hope.

The world looks up to this land,
With its Health Service to be proud of,
But seriously, where is it??
Two years later, ive not found it.

So I will return to South Africa,
Where services are yet more stretched and underfunded,
But with patience and perseverance,
There can at least be a way forward.

Im fortunate due to the exchange rate,
It fills me with guilt no end,
For not all can access the help they need,
I dont have much, but they cant afford it, I can.

The public system is slow of course,
But that does not bother me,
For when I finally see someone -
They treat me with respect and dignity.

It may not be for everyone,
But South Africa is a last chance for me,
I know I can get some treatment at least,
And some of it is free.

It may not fix me completely,
For I will probably not have time,
But what am I doing here?
I've got nowhere, in all this time....

Yes it will not be easy,
Life in a Township never is,
But what it does give me is hope...
And with that - it allows me to "live".

.....I have not "lived" for 2 years. All I have done is "exist"....

Good night. x
Im new apologies.
Sometimes, I want to disappear
To find in the void my new now and here
To go back to a state of non-existence
Where life begins anew because it ends


Yet the body wants no death
It longs for no last breath
It wants to dance and jump and run
To bathe in the ocean and feel the sun


But the soul can't see the light
Quiet desperation, a daily fight
Long is the way out of this mess
Can't I get a new one and start fresh?
My thorns turn blunt
My shields let arrows through
My life-risking stunt has left me life-still too
The echo comes from muttered den
The day's too violent
To youth that be I shout "Plague me again, miscreant"
The cave's ajar
The wounds are fresh
The head spins, body scarred
Treacle of death
The cold that swallowed me
It burns the soul that's spent
To love that reaching tries I shout "Plague me again, miscreant"
This was supposed to be a longer song lyrics, but I don't have the means of recording or any instrumental skill, so I gave up on that.
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