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Anxiety washes over me,
As I tried to open my heart.
Blurting out vague messages,
Laying my feelings bare,
Insanity flows through me.
Vicious thoughts consume me.
Gambling my heart out,
I try to fall in love once more.
And you reminded me,
Amidst my rose colored eyes,
I was really destined to be alone.
Reality woke my tired soul.
Loneliness is indeed my own.

Alone in this barren field,
Anchored deep in the sea,
Beached on a deserted island,
Left out in the winter cold,
Incapacitated and left longing,
Voracious vultures are waiting,
Gangrene eating me alive,
Intoxicated by hope and love,
Abhorring every second passing,
Alienating this deep void,
Insufferably waiting for you,
Running in circles in my mind,
Leaving reality behind once more.

Answer me!
Admonish me!
Betray me!
Leave me!
Invalidate me!
Vilify me!
Gouge my heart out!
Ignite my soul!
Agony sets in…
Amorphous images…
Illuminate me!
Read my heart.
Love me, please.

Impending doom looms,
My heart won’t beat.
Silence takes over me.
Our time comes to a close.
Riveting emotions settle.
Regaining my composure,
You smiled at me.
Let the poem speak for itself. Originally written on 10/14/19.
I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pockets.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.
What will release us from our own mortal folly?

a burn across our stricken cheek?

a sorrowful departure?

a gentle kiss?

Death himself.
Sorry my stuff's been pretty drab lately. I've been having a rough year but I really look forward to writing more wholesome pieces.
The world feels your pain and sorrow.

The world sees your emptiness and suffering.

The world hears your cries and prayers.

The world knows you're lost and scared inside.

The world hopes and wants you to find peace and comfort.

And the world loves and wants you to find strength

and to keep the faith.
This poem is inspired by the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.
Nigdaw 2d
The street is silent
Everything become still,
Cars pulled up on pavements, make way
Pedestrians, without utterance
Transfix their gaze,
As though Death himself
Sat behind the wheel
At the head of the cavalcade;
Brushing a tear from the cheek
Of his smile fixed face:

A small white box,
Lost in the back
Of a long black limousine,
Continues on its journey;
Unhindered by a day
That up to that moment,
Was very like any other;
Until there it was
Iridescent in the sunlight
Making a last short journey
From cradle to grave.

I swear not a bird sang
Nor an engine idled restlessly.
A child's funeral procession I witnessed.
Unmasque! Unmasque!
I think Poe said it best.
The masks are hiding us,
only showing our best.

What if, let’s say,
I was to take this mask off?
Would you scream, I wonder,
or would you simply scoff?

Underneath this mask,
is another you see.
So how many layers until,
you get down to me?

I think at the base,
that person’s ceased to be.
I’ve suffocated him slowly,
masking insanity.

I’ve welded the doors shut,
and hid away inside.
Praying that the Red Death,
would simply let me abide.

But now the party’s over,
Unmasque! Unmasque!
The insanity has grown feelers,
through these layers of mask.

One by one they’ve fallen,
and been swept aside.
Revealing the damage,
I tried so hard to hide.

Now the air has grown thin,
through this last mask I wear.
I can feel it pulling away,
and starting to tear.

Forgive me please,
I knew not what I done.
At least I’ll be at peace,
with my true face in the sun.
When some days
are not so bad as others
but you’re still drinking
and miserable.
the inching hatred
of who you are
but not what you’ve done-
that’s depression.
Poetic T Oct 11
I fade like a dead match,
                 warmth still seeps..


But within I'm charred and
           unresponsive to your words.


You once lit my world, brightening

my every emotion.


But then you just faded like
           the space between moments.

Your light was there, then gone.

I wanted to rekindle us,
          but what is spent cant be brought.

You were the match that lit my wick,
         but then you were just charred
                                                        echoes.
­
We tried to relight what was there,
            but we'd burnt out to early.

even though I was lighting up,
                our corridors.
You were no longer there,
           extinguished before our time.

I knew we couldn't strike it again,
    it wasn't me, it was you.


And even though I shone for you,
        
    you could no longer hold a flame to
me.

And you
                    we, were just flickering
on the brightness of the past
real sadness
doesn’t howl
or scream

it sits inside
your chest                
weeping softly

not wanting
to disturb
the exuberant air
around them
Nigdaw Oct 8
Size 12,
I've put on a bit of weight
Certainly haven't grown,
But really, I've never been a size 12!
Shiny and new, worn once
Probably never to be worn again,
They will always be the shoes
I bought
To go to my mum's funeral in.
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