I had a long run trying to win without a price.
Addicted to your being.
With every moment, I catch a glimpse of you.
I loved you, hoping you’ll know it.
I tried not to show as much as I want to.
I'm giving up to improve myself.
Even if I have a chance to redeem myself, I couldn't.
I'm afraid I've gone too far.
I thought what I had was meant for us.
But here I am writing my sorrow.
Hoping they come across better than normal words.
If we're meant to be together, then it will happen.
As tears roll down my cheek
I long for you as I feel weak
My body physically ailed
My mind solemn, derailed
I feel safety and comfort in your arms
Like nothing can do me any harm
Your warmth touches upon my skin
A soothing sensation felt within
I don’t want to hurt anymore
My heart it aches for vigour
Rest my body and mind I must
Or I may spontaneously combust
Rain is dramatic, but short lived-
Sun shines strong and low
through art-work cloud, and
finger-print-blooms rock and sway
on a whispering green-leaf sea.
October 2020 is the hot-sweet-tea
left outside my room, after the row I caused
when I was 15.
Sorry I forgot how to be
Sorry I lost touch with reality
Sorry I used my sharp tongue
Sorry I was so high strung
Emotions are peculiar creatures that sing
All of them heard and felt at once like a sting
Overwhelmed with feelings of frenzy
Can’t I just guard them like a sentry
My mind has wounds that no one can see
Invisible scars I long to set free
I don’t mean to be that difficult person
To love me takes grace which can deter some
Sorry I sometimes have to cry
Sorry my mind has stories that fly by
Sorry I do not twinkle very bright
Sorry I cannot basque under the moonlight
Hurt, falling in space, I feel it all too deep
Like a sword through the heart, I begin to weep
Over and over on repeat so frequently
Do I value myself too high in frequency
Sorry I had to be your second
Sorry I did try with first to reckon
Sorry I thought I was worth more
Sorry I should have known I’m a bore
I am the one everyone chooses to ignore.
The peculiarities of being me is long, no I don’t think you want to hear anymore.
You, the one who was like my universe,
The rest of the world was paying attention to something else and my sorrow seemed to be ignored just like that as something petty and normal.
This is from a POV of a Korean Drama Series "Go Back Couple."
Last year feels like a different life.
Maybe a past one or a parallel reality.
A life in which we were here, but never enough to know it.
Same artist but different album.
This year finally gave sound to melancholy.
A song I’ll never remember the words to, but the beat permeates forever in my heart.
Here we all dance silently to the same blues.
Feet sway with your sorrow.
There is no wrong step in weeping.
Take one breath and breathe it into the life taken away.
Let your sadness be every guest in the ballroom.
Drip drop drip drop.
Tears keep falling and never stop.
Tick tock tick tock. Tears fall away with every click of the clock.
Like clockwork flip the pillow to the dry side. Time will tell. Its a temporary lie. Alone in the dark. No one sees when I cry.
Wouldn't matter if they did cause no one cares if I die. Drip drop.
Dawn is nearing. Tick tock. Hope I once again see the light. Forever and ever I've known nothing but night. Eyes swollen from tears that distort my sight. Will I ever be free? Will things ever be right?
Tick tock. Time will tell. Another pillowcase soaked as I'm pondering hell. Drip drop. How long must I cry? How long must I suffer before I inevitably die? Can't stop the pain no matter how hard I try.
Drip drop Drip drop
Can't stop the tears
Tick tock tick tock
Can't stop the clock.
I wanted to write about how it feels when it seems like depression and darkness will never end. And that we have limited time here and that only makes it worse. Suffering ***** knowing one day you're going to die and that's not any better. It seems like it'll go on forever.
Do you see me?
Can you hear me?
I am right here!
I am screaming and flailing
Fighting not to be consumed by the storm
Barraged by waves of sorrow
Pockets full of fear, heavy as rocks
Slowly sinking below the surface
Cries muffled by claps of thunder
I am begging for help
You didn't see me in time
I am swallowed by a sea of apathy
Enveloped in cold, dark misery
You won't hear me now
Because I won't yell anymore
I am sunken in this trench of despair
The second stanza should be two font sizes smaller for impact
❝ a man curses his self-created hell;
a trap he weaved for himself
that later on evolved
into a labyrinth of intricate design
the basis of his sorrow
a product of ignorance
that drowns him
in the ocean of confusion
he becomes lost
in the prison of darkness
floating in the sea
of perpetual gloom
searching for the light
with eyes open
but senses shut
stumbling about for eons
but never himself ❞
Through times of sorrow,
Much is discovered,
Undone comes the heart,
Then, with it comes the mind,
Lastly, sometimes first off,
Comes the soul.
- Jay M
December 11th, 2018