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Nicole 7h
The vertigo invades my brain
And as I lay awake
The self diagnosis makes me question
My intentions

If only he’d be able to hear me
Without me saying a word
You’re lazy, you’re lazy

Restless silence
Bubbling water
Inconsistent ticking
I fall asleep

And yet
I must talk myself into sleeping
Convince myself that
My pillow loves me
Just as a lover would
Shadows dance upon the walls
The clocks incessant click
Why am I awake right now?
Because insomnia’s a dick
Why am I awake zzzzz
I've tried endlessly to make a shift...
to rotate my breathing...
1...4...8...1...4...8...
to let my eyes
droop,
and my heart steady: like honey
dripping from a spoon.
How sweet sleep would be...

Though for some reason,
the night must be more taken with me
than morning...
for it keeps me hostage during it's time;
confiding with me, tempting me to never
close my eyes again.
It tickles my bones with nightfall stimulants -
what a sleepless impression these chemicals have on me.
Shh
I am aware
of all things present,
the pinch behind my eyes
the pressure in my nose
my deep, soft,
too loud–heavy–quiet breathing
(How?)
Give me back my bones
Give me back my sleep,
my dreams.
Too close, too much, not enough:
I am endlessly ending

Cry

Please let me sleep–end–cry–
somethinganythingplease
I told a story as a Roman a clef
for years the conflict plagued my mind,
I confessed that I've always been half deaf,
but you showed me that I was also blind.
How many jumps did I fail to leap?
How many catches left me with open arms?
I lost count when auditing the sheep;
I wish they'd just remain in their barns.

Unfortunately for poor me
I am cursed to never forget.
It's torturing to know what could've been,
if the future just had the stones set.
I'm nocturnal, banned from sleep
and I dread every new dawn.
It's so diurnal counting the sheep
'cause they just keep moving on.

You burned a bible for a statement of stand
for days my mind peaked at the thought,
so I examined every single grain and sand
and never questioned why the surroundings were so hot.
My tongue can tell a thousand lies
but my eyes and cheeks will always tell the truth,
for we share a mind while we share the skies,
to the elder seas from the drops of our youth.

Unfortunately for poor me
I am cursed to never forget.
The earth is scorches as far as the eye can see
and my dear the sun has permanently set.
I'm nocturnal, banned from sleep
and the pillow cases are mismatched and wrong.
I'm drowning in these thoughts so deep
and rewriting sentences that are far too long.

It's always easier to pretend it was nothing
than to ever admit it was everything.
I went from swimming in luxury to a life I've been roughing,
I've went from hearing birds to hating the bell's ring.
But that's all packed up in a box I labeled fragile,
and in smaller writing "never open again."
And the insomnia increases my headaches and stomach bile,
when all is broken where do you find the time to mend?

Unfortunately for poor me
I am cursed to never forget.
My new addiction is now gambling
on the one place I should never place my bet.
Sara Mares Sep 12
Perhaps there is someone out there
Who waits all night for peaceful sleep
Instead is met with clenched jaws
And restless feet
They feel too as if gravity was stolen
Sloppily replaced with confusion and vertigo
And their night slows to a crawl
As they wade through misshapen
Memories and longings
And the dreaded
“If only I had”
Farhan Sep 10
She is missing,
Peace is nocturnal,
And night never happens.
Devin Ortiz Sep 9
Symptomatic time bomb.
Deluded delusions of ethereal projections,
A dissociated self of severe sorrow.
Louder now, the crooning calls,
The malevolent mayhem of voices.
Sleepless nights, onset insomnia.
A refuge from reality is lacking.
Dreams sent packing.
Nightmares walk.
People talk.
And time offers no relief.
Crawling inside, fear growing.
Fiendish thoughts, lethal insanity.
Scribe away, transference of pain.
Words trapped between pages,
A book of demons, all of them screaming.
Bound by a spine of mental failing.
Fold the latch, turn the key.
Bury this bastard's tale.
Rinse and repeat,
With each rising defeat.
And pray the delay of further tells,
These fortunes of the lost amd the broken.
Lady Ace Sep 6
Sober too long
A thousand pictures fill my head
Nothing I want
All I deserve
A failure encrusted shoe
And a dangerously deep hole
A yearning
A yearning fit to burst through the confinement of narrow walls
Or the confinement of a narrow mind
The genie took two of my wishes
So I’ll leave you with this;
If I ever sleep again
Please don't wake me up
reii Sep 6
sipping coffee,
rain dripping
in the balcony,
sun's setting.

nostalgia—
i remember
insomnia—
i cant sleep to forget.

the times i wanted you to stay
for a minute, an hour
right beside me, please lay
tell me your problems and wishes

lets reach for the stars
as peter pan descends
fly with me, ignore your scars
just think of happy thoughts.

insomnia—
i dream even if i cant sleep
unrequited—
i love even if it cant be returned
i love you. dont worry, you dont need to love me too. talk to me in your own pace, i'll wait for you.
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