18
I hear nothing
apart from this beat that never ends
Some guy's talking
but it feels like
dynamites in my head
everything is bending
Why is everything black and white?
So I jump in my mercedes but
it isn't quite opening right
I don't get it
am not drunk
but then
a crooked grin
sapphire eyes
blond hair
chiseled abs
british accent
got me saying
Hey
my name is
whatever you call me
but your the only
focus in my lens
I don't get it
am not drunk
there is a million people
here but your the only one
that has me saying Hey
My name is  
whatever you call me
I don't promise anything
but can we get out of here.
That was a friday night
when I saw you
but now I got you here
with those chiseled abs showing
it all started with
Hey my name is
whatever you call me
and a claim that am not drunk
I do miss you everyday and think of you ,if you ever wonder if I ever think of you then just know I do.But if I would have stayed I would have only be in your way and it would only be a living a lie.Even though I never said it back (only because you said it to me and told me not to say it back)I will always love you in a bitter sweet kind of way
Kat 1d
I'm hurting lately
Is it just me?
I keep breathing barely
Is there a good excuse?

I'm quite tired these days
Should I get medication for that?
My nightmares are showing me new ways
What's the deal?

Cut. One small thought I had as well
Where did that come from all of a sudden?
In our bathroom is that certain smell
(I can't stand it)
Am I doing this right?

I think I left my confidence at home
Or is it hiding under the bed?
Guess we got separated, this girl is one, lone.
Or is she?

I made new friends in the meantime
Is Anxiety coming over?
We gonna have another slumber party, “I seem fine”
(That's going to be the theme)

Don't forget about Self-loathing,
the party doesn't really start without them, does it?
It's gonna be a sick time with a bunch of loafing,
Sounds pretty good, huh?

Might as well make this my invitation,
to my awesome sleepover
though there's an ongoing renovation
so please don't mind the noise.
Not sure what I did here. Just some random thoughts written down in the heat of the moment. Let me know what you think.
jai 1d
some mornings i wake up, and getting out of bed that day takes normal effort.
other mornings i’m unable to keep my eyes closed because my brain spent all night coming up with new ideas, so the second the sun hits my face, my feet are on the ground running.
the mornings where sleep was my friend the night before are the hardest, though. when sleep fogs my brain, eight hours is a fraction of the amount of time it is willing to accept, and those morning are spent fading in and out from sudden noise, and rude awakening attempts, and the moment i decide to give up on sleep, is the moment i give up on the day in its entirety.
i was crying on the back porch when i wrote this, after being woken up for the 4th time that morning by my mother. i’m sure she didn’t understand that prior to that night, i hadn’t slept in almost 4 days... my mania was not her fault, yet i put all the blame on her that morning.
Lily 3d
Please do not judge my well being
By my physical pain.
My mind endures more daily
Than my body could endure
In thousands of lifetimes.
Tøast 4d
Well these cocaine naps have got me waking up drunk.
Broken knuckles and scars I don't remember.
So many days spent in a daze,
Drinking and smoking haze.
A complex distraction for a complex problem.
It's killing me, I know, but maybe that's better than nothing at all.

How can you ask a self destructive mess to not be paranoid.
All the nights I spend hating myself
Analysis to a grand scale, of every miniscule detail.
Every second of the sunset, every plant that grows I turn to dust.
Why can I only ruin this paradise,
Too late to save someone, too fucked up to let someone love me.

This is pain,
Ruining my chances and knowing what I've done.
Hating myself for the actions I do, and the things I don't say.
Blaming myself, constantly.

But let's do another line, and wash it down with spirits,
Drown them in substances and pretend we're okay until it kills us.
Oh how I’d welcome the darkness!
Let it’s cool embrace sweep me off my feet
Take my mind, rid me of the curse of consciousness
The gift of nothing is all I want; my tired mind can take no more!

Let go!
Oh please, just stop thinking!
Let go of your mind
(Stop repeating stupid songs in your head)
Leave this plane of existence
(1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, pink psychologist sheep says I’m slightly loopy)
I can’t make sense of the thoughts that slug around my head
(Just close your eyes)
Ascend to another world
(Ok, stop writing shit and just try to sleep)


(I have exams tomorrow)
...

It’s too hot
It’s too cold
My pillow is too hard
And now it’s too soft

I can’t stop moving
And now I can’t move
(I somehow cut the blood flow to my leg)

...
I even tried wiki how for advice on how to sleep...
Obviously being on a device doesn’t help
The ceiling's so appealing
On this winter night
I'm too scared to dream
The creaks in the house
Are a nightmare's song
Dear demons,
Please let me sleep tonight

This room seeps my doom
As the night wears on
I am in so deep
If I wake I'll apologize
But if while I sleep I die

Then I'll be free tonight

Dear demons,
Please let me sleep tonight

Well then...

I should be falling asleep
I shouldn't dwell on what tomorrow brings
Too tired to fall asleep
Too awake to think
Yet I should be falling asleep
A dream is a dream no matter what it seems
I should be falling asleep
But I'm too afraid to sleep
As I drift into the deep
Oh no
I'm asleep
Caught in another dream...
Dear Demons, let me sleep tonight
Pure of Stars Jun 14
At twelve am my mind wonders
It wonders from each memory to the other
It starts off with the sound of my parents falling out of love
It starts off with all of the screaming
I watch my own mom bring a gun to her head
Only to be stopped by a slap and than another one
And than it gets quiet a bit
Quiet enough for to hear a little girl crying
Crying because suddenly she has no friends
Suddenly she feels so lonely
That girl has identical eyes and hair as me
And than it gets worse
The sound of a blade against skin for the first time
The first time turns into the second time, then into the third
Until it’s an addiction
Than it stops
Because suddenly I watch empty bottles of wine lay around the ground
I watch my own mom tell me how it’s my fault  
My fault that my dad left her
My fault that I have no friends
That I wasn’t supposed to be born anyway
But she doesn’t remember that the next morning
I watch my eight year old sister tell me to kill my self
Tell me that no one will miss me
That I’m nothing but a burden
Then it gets louder and louder and louder
Suddenly my dad is telling me that he’s sad
so sad that he wants to kill himself
He’s sad because of me
It’s getting even louder
I’m shaking
My whole body is shaking
But my hand is over my mouth to keep me from making a noise
To make sure I don’t wake anyone up
Because at twelve am
My mind wonders
Just some of the reasons why I can’t sleep at night. Why don’t you tell me why you can’t sleep? Don’t worry though, the stars are there to keep you company.
LAWM Jun 13
Cant control this feeling
This fear of drifting away
A feeling i cannot help
But endure every single day

Sleep, always restless
Fake smiles, for you to think I'm ok
A shield, a mask, a boulder
To hide the pain away

I cant seem to close my eyes
Despite the heavy weight
Though i weigh them down, they Never shut
Sleep, they've begun to hate

The feeling of pain is horrible
Especially when no one can see
That i have lost a part of myself
I have lost the elated side of me

no longer am i fond of hugs
No longer am i willing to wait
For someone to find and help me
I believe it's much too late

I cant seem to close my eyes
Too many nightmares, chasing me
No dreams with rainbows and smiles
Only fear to an unimaginable degree

No longer do i believe in love or trust
I can no longer keep my feelings at bay
Can no longer act as well as i used to
I am too tired to shove my feelings away

I am no longer able to breathe right
I am no longer able to define life the right way
I am surrounded by people i no longer love
People to whom i dont know what to say

I cant seem to close my eyes
What else is there to say
Im a girl with chronic insomnia
And the fear doesn't seem to be going away

I have lost the ability to love
Because of people who have turned their backs
And because of that, thanks to them
Ive become an insomniac
Lara P Jun 12
Dark, gloomy thoughts cloud my mind again,
Filling my entire head with clouds thicker than cigarette smoke.

Scary, frightening thoughts fill my brain again,
I wish that this morning I never really woke.

I just want control
Over my mind
Over my thoughts
Over my actions
Over my choices

But I will never get that control...

I just need to make peace with it.
I need to make peace with myself and this uncontrollable life.
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