On a cloud, a big fluffy white cloud
I just wanna be like a raindrop
And watch the world float on by
while lying on a comfortable cloud

i have respect for those who died
but those who chose not to die
are truly soldiers of this life
for i, myself was broken, torn
and among the falling tears
my mother's cries rang through the night

what happened i can never mention
but i tell you this,

nobody deserves to feel the pain
of a loved one losing control
making you
bear it all

the depression comes in stages

you cry yourself to sleep
you're angry
sad and deeply hurt
i dont understand
what did i do

you cry yourself to sleep
its my fault
i did this
all of this i brought upon myself
i deserve this

oh darling how wrong you are

you cry yourself to sleep
i am living a lie
not wanted
forgotten
left to lick my own wounds
inflicted on me by another

i am jerked into reality,
in this life i am alone.

you cry yourself to sleep
its getting harder by the day
to fake the smile
say you're okay

you're not
but how could you ever say
"I.."

the words left hanging in the air
i can't even type them
for i am scared
what if it happens once again
i could never bear the pain

you cry yourself to sleep
this time its different
i do not mourn for what happened
but for what is going to happen

tonight, my eyes are dry
as i plan my own demise
its time to end this agony
once and for all

some pills?
a cliff, a rope
maybe just a roadside kill
so many options

i chose the cliff
a little ledge
they'd say i stumbled off the edge

but the only cliff around
was special to a friend of mine
someone i loved
and i could never hurt them like that

it sounds pathetic
maybe deep down
i didn't want to die
and this was my excuse
but through all that emotion
what brought me out
was just a friend

they didn't know what they had done
saved a life and kept me safe
i reached out and asked for help
nobody knows what happened
just that i was in a bad place

it took a cliff to see
that i am loved and worth it  
the people surrounding me
don't want to lose me

and since that day
my life has changed
i love more and hate less
sometimes i fall back into it
but now its different
i don't cry myself to sleep
i ask for help and seek it out
its helped so much to have friends who love

now i look back on that time
and find it funny
for i was going to kill myself
but couldn't find a place to do it.

Feel the lull of sleep
On a roll that will rise up
In the oven's womb

How low can we go down the rabbit hole?
I’ll take you to a place where the time never flows
The stars always glow, the sky is always blue
The grass is always green, and it’s all for you
But there’s a certain madness to this fantasy
So follow me as I measure every step carefully
You see this perfect planet is a theatre play
Either way, all we are is a bunch of NPCs

There’s a melody coming from the other side
As we stroll along the beach, by the ocean tide
And I show you smiles hidden in the crimson skies
Every perfect tale doesn’t show you the demise
But I made this world for you, you don’t have to deal with it
When you feel down, you can come and sink in it
Like a blanket on a winter evening, protect your heat
When the inside of your head gets too bleak
And when all you desire is a bit of sleep
So let your legs run, turn your head to stand by
And we’ll play the spectacle until you get by.