A laugh bounces through the street below
Followed by that laugh's friends
A happy neighbourhood
Even this far into the evening
The sun was visiting elsewhere
Leaving a dull blue-grey
Spread over the sky.
A loop of those favourite songs we all had
Stumbles from second-hand speakers
You don't really hear them
Or rather, you don't hear them like you did
When you loved them.
This remedy-less loneliness
But you wouldn't know it to see it
It pulls you nowhere
And drags you into bed
It makes effort difficult
And overfills your head
With nothing it should be full of.
solitude marks the height of my contentment
no agreements to make
I don't have to see faces
nods smiles masked aggression
I don't have to act
I don't have to trade facade for facade
with my peers
do I even have peers?
at night, I feel a stillness
so deep, so harsh, so honest
I don't have to live this lie
explain why I'm fine
why everything is fine
because, it's not
I am a million clashing universes
filled with endless dying stars
and I reach out
to the other universes
and shrink back
and at night
I fill the stillness
the stars collapsing
every synapse bending
no crying out for more
at night there is no other
no one to say my name falsely
and when I sleep
the ocean of my subconscious
carries me to sleeping cures
takes me away for years
to great expanses of colorful
where I feel
where my emotions are tangible
they keep me company for
I wake to this doll world
where a friend asks
how are you doing
and she's doing it out of obligation
and there's no color
and I have no emotion
and I feel nothing
Life is the waiting room for the exploration of that dream world
and every night
I taste it
I touch it
I breathe in its vibrance
and the only want
is to never wake
to this grey world
to never have to answer
Night crawls like lizards
with tongues of opalescent horror
Sleep is a blanket on someone else's bed
and I jolt and gasp like she had
connected by that plastic tube
to a life finally withdrawn
Sleep is torn from my lungs which choke on fears that close around me as coal dust
and all I see in the dark are the
worst things she suffered
from cancer's tongues of horror
Then radiance reaches from your woken soul and you recite Quran over me
like a Southern faith healer
with laying on of hands
They slither away from the light you've conjured and I sleep oh I sleep
Daylight memories appear as camera flashes
petty poltergeists easily banished
Yet darkness always follows day as an anxious housemaid
Memories slip their skins and crawl from discarded scales again where they shouldn't
Nothing good happens after 4 am.
This was the time when my negligent lust began.
The hour of which my angels are locked up by my demons;
time to release Dracula’s descendant to begin hunting season.
to slowly empty my next victim of their feelings.
Swallow these words in between your moans.
Let them send chills down your spine
as you brave intimate relations with a vampire’s blood line.
Without this hour, my favorite part of me would not exist
Making monsters out of the ones I once loved with a deathly kiss.
another drag through jagged teeth,
manhandling my body with precision.
lips glittering with the wet from your tongue,
piercings blundering my soul.
continue to make your move against me,
i am numb to all feelings you may hold.
wrap me up and throw me to the dogs,
before you take all humanity.
I dreamed a dream so perfect
of white and pureness found
Of swimming pools of happiness
and creativeness unbound
Where I was king forevermore
and you could not invade
With all my joy in full display
and all true feelings laid.
You entered not
for it was you who feared
Me! You feared me
and dare not ever neared.
So beautiful. Magnificent.
Yet slumber comes to end
and soon I found myself returned
into your lap again.
Until I can once more escape
in sleep where truth is gone
to places you shall never now
nor ever gaze upon
I kissed the Ocean and she said she was the Sea
During the season of allergies I sneeze with no intention of apologizing
I don't put things behind me
the construction workers outside don't care if I'm sleeping
they keep cutting down trees and I keep weeping because
I. Can't. Sleep.
Big Oil like that doesn't like me
says the green in my blood is a lie
I say I keep my ties and preserve
unlike you monkeys getting what you don't deserve
I know I'm not winning but I know I have the cause and effect of sea breeze
You don't notice me but I'm there I am so there
And when I pick up and show you my hurricane you're scared
but I promise you I'm just letting you know I'm there
Asking you to tell me you care