When you realize that its getting ridiculous
Years should have been years
But memories with you filled it
It felt like it was only yesterday that you’ve left me
It felt like yesterday when you’ve given up on me
And when I was still hung up on the jokes you made
The air tasted bitter only when you exhaled the words
im sorry I take back what I said
Only then I knew, the truth isn’t gonna be constant
In your eyes, I was someone you would use the word perpetual
But was doesn’t define now and I am in your past
I was once your truth until we decided to part
I'm sorry because I get too easily attached
I'm sorry because I speak too much and say too little
I'm sorry for being so horrible
I'm sorry that sometimes I can't hide the anger, the rage
I'm sorry I never told you
I'm sorry that if I die,
I wouldn't have told you
How much I love you
How I could never hold you enough
How you're my light
I'm sorry that I might die
and it might be my fault
I'm sorry for saying sorry so much
My thoughts lay 'neath the moonlight shine,
Yet the abyss still dark and silent,
The stars hung within the nightly heavens,
Whisper "Shall thou make ammends?"
I sang a song,
She dances upon it,
I did her wrong,
Her graces forgave it,
but she can't forget,
so she went on her way,
oh how much I regret,
now I'm left here in despair.
This is how I feel,
all that I've shared,
thoughts dark enough to kill,
written and told so I would be spared.
I'm sorry for turning you grey and white with my stress.
I'm sorry for all the depressing thoughts and worries.
I'm sorry for drowning you in the tears from my breakdowns.
I'm sorry for all the kind lies and obscene truths I made you say.
I'm sorry for the red marks caused by the ropes I've tied around you.
I'm sorry for making you carry the weight of the world.
I'm sorry for the short, painful, cuts, causing the blood to pour out.
I'm sorry for making you drag razors, scissors, and blades across my body.
I'm sorry for breaking you up into microscopic shards.
I'm sorry for all the butterflies from the thoughts of him.
I'm sorry for all the problems I made you run away from.
I'm sorry I had to crush you for the sake of making others happy.
I'm sorry for trying to erase you from my life.
I'm sorry that I've been doing such a bad job at keeping my mask on.
I'm sorry for being a disappointment.
I'm sorry that I had to pain you with my existence.
I'm sorry that you have to go through so much without me by your side.
I am sorry my poetess,
I never meant to break your heart,
And cause you any kind of pain,
That might tore your life apart.
I knew you were fragile
Like a shattering glass
When I asked to take your hand
On the journey of sensual romance.
That must’ve been selfish of me
Losing my blindside
When we jumped into the pool
Without knowing what was inside.
But, I realized it now,
Forgive me is all I can say
Please, put down
you pride and luggages,
And stop running away.
Dishes upon dishes are stacked.
Another day, another relative in the grave.
Salty tears can't turn back time.
I never caressed, I never cared.
But I did care.
Take a watch and turn back time.
Where would you like to go?
Go back to everybody you forgot existed?
Or maybe spend more time with the people you didn't?
Help out your family more often?
Because you never did so before.
You can't go back, you know that right?
Why are you crying?
They're dead, they all are.
It's over now, forget it.
No matter how many times you say it, it's meaningless.
I am sorry.
I know you hate it when I say it but it is too true,
too much a part of me not to.
I am sorry because I do not know who I am.
I am sorry because there is a gap between who I am and who I want to be.
The gap is too wide for me to see to the other side and I do not know how to jump
with trust that I won’t fall.
It is such an easy thing to say when you feel safe but outside
of what feels like home
it is so hard.
I am sorry I don’t know what to say around you.
I am sorry for all the words I haven’t said.
I am sorry I have too many things to apologize for I would never fit them on a page.
Know that I am truly sorry
Lately I’ve been trying to find a way to the side of who I want to be
but the shore is murky.
I don’t know where it begins.
I don’t know what was your fault
or what was mine
And I don’t know why at the time I acted the way I did because I was definitely at fault
But all I know is I’m asking for forgiveness
I crave forgiveness
I need forgiveness just as I need to breathe
I’m not sure if you feel the same way
And I don’t know if I’ll ever know
Oh the wonder
So I’m writing this in case you stumble over it one day
Oh the anticipation
I need my friend back
A friendship was broken on that day along with many things
But most importantly a friendship
And I have been searching and seeking for something that will fulfill that position of a best friend and nothing has come along
Nothing is good enough
I just need my friend back
Someone to talk to at the end of the day
But that was ruined and for that I need to say I’m sorry