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ashton 1d
i see you, love.
i notice how hard you're trying,
and i admire your strength and courage.
i know it's not easy, and i know you want to give up.
but i see you. you're not invisible,
you're valued.
did you relapse?
if you did, that's okay, you didn't fail.
are you only a day clean?
that's okay, i'm proud of you.
you have a purpose.
your voice deserves to be heard by all.
don't give up, keep fighting.
in case you needed to hear this today, i'm proud of you.
It’s hard to admit,
When everything goes to ****,
I am addict,

It’s always been this way,
Started at a young age,
Sugary sweets and red wine,
Cider and champagne,
Pumping chemicals into my little brain,

I never really understood,
The impact it would have on my adulthood,
The alcohol soaked in my veins,

My friends had started to notice,
Each party would become exhaustion,

My friends had started to notice,
I was trying to up-hold this notion,

My friends became distance,
I couldn’t keep filling this emptiness,

Flourishing myself in ecstasy,
Of pleasure and dreams
Treated as a remedy,
To escape from my reality,

Morning after,
Sunken eyes,
Wondering the streets of Brighton,

I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again,
I couldn’t understand,

Why I stood with the pain,
Let myself become this way,
The struggles I hid,
Got worse within time
As you lit up your cigarette
your promises went up in flames

Smoke has filled your lungs
drugs have scarred your soul

What can I do?
What should I do?

Are you okay?
Are you alright?
Is what is keeping me awake at night

I am so scared
so ******* scared

I love you so much
but I can't be with someone
that feels like a maybe
someone who doesn't love me enough
to stop destroying their own future
and thereby destroying a chance of mine.

- the poetic fairy
serena 4d
you’re my cigarette
small and fragile
so demanding
but i would walk through blizzards for you
leave all my friends for just a taste of you
i thought i could quit whenever i wanted
but you held me tight on your leash made of smoke
and i left far too late
because i’m still addicted to you.
Why can't I remember simple words and phrases for tests and quizzes, yet I can remember almost every conversation we have had in the last four months. I have unintentionally memorized all of your hobbies and favorites. This was a surprising, yet amazing perk to getting to know you and fall in love with you.

I wanted to be a better artist, so I posted this wish on a few social media platforms. I was just getting it out in the open thinking that nobody would respond. You responded. You told me that we could meet up some time and practice your preferred art style, which is drawing animals. We made plans and set a date. I texted you on the chosen date and got a response the next morning saying that you were sorry for not responding sooner. You didn't have internet. We tried making plans a second time and the exact same thing happened. Yet again, you didn't have internet. At this point, I just thought that you didn't want to see me and I accepted that. One day, me and my ex-friend Gavin were walking around, going from neighborhood to neighborhood, just talking about life. Reminiscing in the good memories and troubles of the past. Eventually, we got bored of talking and he suggested that we go somewhere. This somewhere was your house. I didn't realize that we were walking towards your house at the time. Once we got to your house, I noticed you sitting in the back of your fathers truck while you had a few friends inside and your entire family eating dinner together at the dinner table. You seemed like a lonely teenager. You confirmed this thought after telling me multiple times in the future that you wanted me to come over and hang out, because of that dreadful loneliness. I came over at least twice every week and that lasted for a good two and a half months. From the first glance, I noticed your beauty. From your first words, I noticed your refined charm. You gave me a sort of cancer every time I came over. Ever time you touched me, the cancer would diminish and there would only be an elegant light radiating from the both of us. Then, when I would leave, the cancer would grow and pain me. This was only the beginning of my painful, yet joyous love for you.

I fell in love with you, because you drew me in. You, at one point literally, took me by the wrist to a place that nobody would find us and showed me the love you were capable of giving. Just not being able to see you and enjoy your presence was an extreme pain. I didn't think that this pain could get any worse. But of course, I was wrong and the pain grew immensely. You found someone else to give your love to. I was old news. Onto the next. You still had a bit of human in you. There was a small part of you that didn't want me to parish. You didn't want to completely stop avoiding me. So, you just started hanging out with me before school like I wouldn't notice the decline in how much time we were spending together.

I'm not mad. I'm not even sad. These emotions want to be set free and rile up a storm, but I would rather stay numb. When you're feeling lonely and don't have your boyfriend there to eradicate the loneliness present, I will be there in a snap. When you're hungry and I have stocked snacks in my bag for Wednesdays, because I can't order school lunches on Wednesdays, because Wednesday's are half-days and everybody has the same lunch on half-days, meaning that I would have to sit down and eat in the presence of you and your boyfriend... which I'm not going to do... I'll give you my Wednesday meal because your comfort is more important than my livelihood. When I buy two hundred dollar tickets for me and my friend Gavin to see a YouTuber we really like, and I find out you like the YouTuber too, I'll tell my friend Gavin that I'm taking a girl with me and take you instead even though I told him half a year ago that he was going with me. That's why I put an 'ex-' before friend while mentioning him earlier, because in the process of doing this, he said that I was a ******* ***** and he didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I don't mind, because your smile during the concert was more than enough to light up my days for weeks after the event. When you're wanting to walk with me and you're walking slow because gym class made you sore, and I'm walking fast because I have crippling anxiety and all I want to do is get the **** out of this highly populated school... I'll slow down and walk at your pace. When Satan comes knocking at your ******* bedroom door and asks you to **** one and save one, one being me and the other being your boyfriend, I will gladly run to your house and jump on Satan's blade so you don't have to make any decisions.

No matter what the circumstance, realistic or not, I desire your happiness above everything else.

I love you...
I don't expect you to read my story. Just getting it out there helps, so that's what I'm doing. Thanks for any likes, loves, or responses.
Ava May 4d
Drugs, Alcohol, Love, You.
I want it all.
Drugs.
Breathe In.
Breathe Out.
Feel your pain leave.
Feel the smoke kick out the oxygen from your lungs.
Feel yourself getting higher.
Alcohol.
Drink. Drink. Drink.
Feel your mind get fuzzy.
Feel all harmful thoughts be forgotten.
Feel the warmth of the burning alcohol in your stomach.
Love.
Feel wanted.
Feel needed.
Drown me in your kisses,
Entangle your fingertips in my hair while
I'm dreaming of a different place.
You.
You are my addiction.
I feel like I need you.
I can't love-
You  make me insane.
You make me feel like I'm dancing on clouds
but there's no drugs around.
You.
I'm addicted.
Addicted to your laugh.
The sound goes in my ears and
it plays a beautiful tune.
Addicted to your smells.
The smell of your warm embrace.
Addicted to your touch.
Your warm fingerprints surrounding my pale skin.
Addicted to-
I'm addicted to drugs.
I'm addicted to alcohol.
I'm addicted to love.
I'm addicted-
Addicted to-
I'm addicted
to you.
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