Your pain could I feel And mine was felt by you We're a masterpiece Put together by glue Done damage And all the moments been The slate of our love Can't be wiped clean We fell And then we rose We walked miles Before we were close All the hurdles We crossed All the opportunities We lost Can we still make up? Or we'll let Come in between The petty defects? Where you cursed me And I hurled abuses When I couldn't see Past through your excuses Because we can Never go back But we can bury All our old tracks Start afresh Be the same For we're mere players Of this brand new game!
Honestly, I don't believe in second chances. Then why did I write this? Because someone out there does.
Everday on my bed as I lay with images in my head of him in me, on me my wrists tied, my heart free heavy breathing souls seething so much passion ******* in every fashion I let all these thoughts guide me to places where pleasure can be brought with mere bites and traces as I set a rhythm so profound taking myself till I'm left astound all I see is him, all I hear is him and then as our hips stop it's time for our lips to lock only for me to open my eyes and realize all of this is nothing but lies him, me and us created by my mind only for me to find me all by myself and lonely making me feel oh so guilty filling me up with so much shame this wildness I try to tame in vain in vain because now I know that my touch will get too much over and over again over and over again.
I just wanna talk maybe about something real, like emotions or feelings but I'm often recommended to take a walk, Oh how I struggle to overcome all of that from which I'm trying to heal why do people get stuck up with the news, movies or tv shows they binge? often seems irrelevant and makes me cringe, I wish for someone or something to give me clarity or If I'm being honest just save me a trip to therapy, I'm in the middle of a meltdown all I wanna do is be free Imagine if happy thoughts would sell, what a world this would be I wish for poetry to flow through me but only when I'm high, I hope the words will get to me but I already know it's a lie.
Sometimes I just wanna I don't know, just sleep it off for a month or so.
Sometimes I still hear the snap of the belt against my skin. It's why I still flinch when a stranger steps to close in proximity. My heart often rises in a flight of birds. Just trying to escape the cold rush of December. It flutters trying to keep up with registering between fight or flight. My feet often start running before I. Often mistaking a pen dropping for a bomb. Regardless I am gone before I ever arrive anywhere. Half checked into a place I can never just leave. My milestones are the intermittent fasting between therapy sessions. We often talk of the stuff we carry; but leave the pages blank on the things we must live with.
It's all it takes to make me happy All I need to put a smile on 3 things reason enough To become a better man Than I was a second ago My daughter Innocent and energetic Heart of gold I'd plate with titanium So it would never be broken Lock away in a far away castle Too high for even dragons to reach But I know you can't hide The radiance of her eyes Intrigued by everything With a giving hand at her age My Family Jokes and burns Scares and bruises We give each other just for a laugh Toughening each other's minds Keeping the wise still sharp Forging the young Into durable adults Prepared for anything Ready to take charge Tearing out walls To open their own doors My friends Uplifting and always there Significant to someone like me Who fears the dark Wishing to never be left alone If not for them I would have given up On chasing the dream Of becoming a man My little girl is proud of It's gratitude before me Oceans of debts Money could never pay back Only my success could do Proving to them all Their failure to give up on me Wasn't in vain That I was truly worth Every drop of effort They didn't realize they put in A simple smile A helping hand An "I got you if you need me" Late night talks Advice I didn't think I needed It all molded me Every bit of kindness I didn't think I was worth I say it's 3 things Yet that's just the categories I've placed the thousands of hands I refuse to let go of, in Thank you From my soul To the tears that fall As I write this While I'm supposed to be working All of you saved me When I couldn't save myself
Yes, I really started crying at work writing this. My appreciate runs so deep. I feel as if I'm in a better point in my life and things are looking up. I've been focusing on more of the positive things in my life. Through therapy, anger management, and being free from a very unhealthy relationship, I feel myself maturing at a rate that terrifies me bc I don't want to grow up just yet but ik I have to. My priorities are in line and I'm becoming proud of myself in everything that I do thanks to all the people that have become a major influence in my life, who I almost lost bc I fell deep in a rabbit hole of depression and almost gave up on my life. Even considering the unfortunate events that got me out of that I'm looking at the positive side of even that and being grateful that if not for the things that transpired I wouldn't have found the happiness that I'm slowly getting accustomed to. Now if only I could achieve one thing that's weighing on me I'm pretty sure I'll transcend to a Bob Ross level of Happy. Once again...nine out of ten if you're reading this you deserve this...THANK YOU.
How many times can I say sorry it’s become a cliche but i can’t seem to stop because the guilt gnaws at me like a persistent child knocking at your door or a mosquito determined to stick itself in your veins and keep you up from sleep while he is at it no matter how many times you swing at it with frustrated fists or bury your head under the covers of your neon sheets the same ones that you had when you were six and banging on your parents' door (although it probably sounded like a gentle knock to them) crying unformed words and blurry thoughts you wish you remembered what it was about so you could talk about it with Dr. Oddo and try to parse it until it all makes sense and maybe even explain why the other day you couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and swelling into the mosquito bite that you were unable to stop.
a really bad habit to get into is retail therapy you know, buying things when your mental health *****? well i've been stuck in that habit for a while and today after school i went and spent sixty dollars on things that i didn't even need
at least the scrunchies that i got were cute. oh and i got some more pens that i don't even need anyway because i have plenty. also i don't know why i was so willing to spend that much when i need to get fabric for a pair of pajama pants that I'm gonna make and fabric is expensive as hell